This is a difficult question for me to answer; I really don’t know how I came to be the way I am now. Of course, a long series of events and experiences have melded and shaped me to who I am today, but I can’t point out which ones. So as I sit staring at an almost blank screen, thinking of which experiences to write about, and feeling intimidated by some of the really well written blog entries that have already been written, the only thought that comes to mind is growing up in here in a suburban town on Long Island not many have heard of, Levittown.
Growing up in Levittown, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was the only Muslim, Egyptian-American girl with a stutter, poofy hair, and a name not many could pronounce correctly. Sure, it wasn’t the easiest thing to go through, but looking back, I think it was a blessing for me. Being a foreigner, in what was to me, a foreign environment, helped me to overcome the fear of being different.
I used to have the most stringent fear of speaking, whether it was in front of one person, a group of people, or on the phone. A thought like “they’re going to think I forgot my name” or “they’ll think I’m a retard” would always pop in my head, and I would retreat into my little shell. It bothered me. Why was I letting something get in the way form carrying out such a simple, everyday task? I took a chance, enrolled in a public speaking class, addressed and spoke about my stutter, and much to my surprise, I found that there was really nothing to fear. So what if I spoke differently from everyone else? Why would it matter if I had a stutter? Addressing my stutter in front of a group of people who I considered different from myself had helped me gain self-confidence with speaking, and with being myself.
For the road ahead, I want to continue to become a better person, even if it means putting myself out of my comfort zone. Especially for these next few years, I want to become involved in the community as much as I can and of course, do my very best in excelling academically. I know the road will have many bumps, twists, and turns, but whatever is in store for me, I won’t fear it, I’ll face it with confidence.