Hook: Do you ever go through a surge of emotions when that instagram filter comes off of your face? Making you wish you looked like that in real life.
Statement of the Problem: As technology is advancing, we are becoming more and more dependent on it. Due to the increasingly, sedentary lifestyle, we are starting to lead, we are starting to use social media to keep in touch with what’s happening around us and our social lives in general. And, the constant representation of the “thin ideal” on social media platforms can lead its users to developing a lower self-esteem, leading them to resort to unhealthy ways to attain or maintain the ideal body.
Thesis Statement: All of these sources describe various factors that lead an individual in the US to developing body dysmorphia. Furthermore, leading the individual to developing eating disorders to attain and/or maintain the “thin” body standard.
Body Paragraphs
Subargument # 1
The stereotype of people with heavier body being depicted as lazy while the thinner body as desirable
Support 1: General stereotype
“obesity stigma refers to the negative attitudes, stereotypes, and discriminatory behavior directed at overweight youth. Across development, youth view their overweight peers to be more selfish, lazy, stupid, ugly, sloppy, and unlikeable than acquaintances of normal weight. Obese children are also less likely to be preferred as playmates, and experience high levels of social rejection, teasing, and bullying. Obesity stigma, which has been documented in children as young as 3, worsens over the course of development, only lessening during the college years.”
Support 2: Perpetuated fatphobia growing up
- According to Eating and Body Dysmorphic Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #33 by CrashCourse published on October 6th, 2014
- 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat
Support 3:
Further Glorifications and advertisement of ways people can attain certains bodies in the media.
Subargument # 2
Adolescents comparing themselves to the “ideal” bodies on the media
Support 1:
.How social media influencers have promoted unrealistic body standards.
Support 2:
Various tools such as the lighting and angles go into making the pictures artists post that way.
Support 3:
Photoshopping and filter is used to further utilize body social media influencers.
Subargument # 3
Comparison can lead to body dysmorphic disorder and eating disorders
Support 1:
The constant representation of an “ideal” body can have a negative effect on one’s self-esteem
“According to the article “ Association between the use of social media and photograph editing applications, self-esteem, and cosmetic surgery acceptance” by Jonlin Chen and other researchers published in the year 2019, studies have shown that “social media engagement may exacerbate an individual’s body image concerns through active comparison with peers.”
Support 2:
This can lead adolescents to developing body dysmorphia
Support 3:
changing eating habits or integrating various eating habits to attain their desired body. As a result, it would lead to the development of EDs.
“Over 50% of teenage girls and nearly 30% of teenage boys have used grounding weight control methods like fasting, skipping meals, smoking vomiting, or using laxatives”
1. Zumanah specific show her topic, body dysmorphia, and her thesis statement in her outline. Her three subarguments let readers gradually understand why people have body dysmorphia. Stereotypes make people pay attention to their bodies and compare themselves with the ideal body, which ultimately leads to body dysmorphia. This is a logical progression. This gives readers a desire to be interested in watching.
2.There is no transition sentences between the subarguments. If you add transition sentences at the end of the first two subarguments, readers will have an “early warning” for the paragraph to be read next. This way readers will not feel overwhelmed by sudden changes in content. One more thing, there is no conclusion in this outline. In the conclusion, you can reiterate the content of the thesis statement and subarguments, and leave a question for the reader to think about. In addition, it would be better if you could add references.
I love the hook, it looks very interesting. The question can grab the reader’s attention very quickly. The thesis statement very clearly shows that you want to focus on the eating disorder. You stated each sub-argument and support very clear, but I think it may be more specific. For example, the support of sub-argument #3 is too general I think. I can understand the key point that you want to say, but if you show more detail it could be better. I saw some research data evidence to support the sub-argument, I think that is a very reliable resource to help support your idea. But I think you can explain more ideas based on the data.