Category: MA1 Draft 1

Topic: I am researching how social media affects people’s mental health. I think this topic is important because many people have many psychological problems because of the use of social media. I want others to know and understand it.

Research Questions: 

1. How common is nomophobia in college students?
2. How nomophobia affects people?
3. How to overcome nomophobia.

[We talked about this over email, but I think nomophobia and social media addiction are two different things. They may be connected, but that is something that you’ll have to research to find out.]

Entry 1

Reference Entry

Jilisha, G., Venkatachalam, J., Menon, V., & Olickal, J. J. (2019). Nomophobia: A MIXED-METHODS study On PREVALENCE, Associated factors, and perception among college students in PUDUCHERRY, INDIA. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, 41(6), 541-548. doi:10.4103/ijpsym.ijpsym_130_19. 

Interesting Quotes and Paraphrases of Key Points

➢ According to Jilisha, Menon and Olickal (2019), “A sizable minority of the students had signs of severe nomophobia, distinct patterns of usage, and misperceptions regarding health and their usage pattern.”

• Reason for Selecting this Quote: This quote directly points out that nomophobia is common among college students and many of them did not understand it.

➢I want to paraphrase the next paragraph because it shows the result of experiment that how dependent the participants are on the smartphones. Thirty forms were found to be incomplete. Sociodemographic characteristics of the participants are depicted in [Table 1]. Duration of smartphone usage was found to be 3-6 hours in nearly half of the participants (52.1%), and 19% of the participants even reported using their smartphone for 7 hours and more per day. Nearly half of the participants (48.6%) checked their phones at least 4-6 times per hour. Social networking and music were found to be the most used utilities in smartphones, with an almost equal proportion of the participants reporting it as the purpose of maximum usage (20% and 22%, respectively). Smartphone use was found to be maximum during leisure time (46.6%), followed by the time before sleeping (31.7%). Around 65% of the students admitted that they sometimes check their smartphones without any particular reason. Half of the participants (51.5%) reported that others have told them that they were using their smartphones too much. Nearly 38% felt that their smartphone use was hampering their academic performance, and 55% said that they check their smartphones as soon as they get up in the morning. Out of 774 responses from participants, the highest proportion of perceived ill health effect due to smartphone use was reported for headache (23.6%), followed by eye strain (21.8%). No perceived ill health was reported by 106 respondents [Table 2].{Table 1}{Table 2} (Jilisha, Menon and Olickal (2019).

 

• Paraphrase of this Quote: Based on the experiment, more than half of the participants in the experiment spend a lot of time using smartphones every day. Most of them use mobile phones during leisure time and while sleeping. Nearly 40% of the participants said that using smartphones hindered learning. More than half of the participants said that they would check their smartphones immediately after waking up in the morning. At the same time, nearly half of the participants said that using smartphones has an impact on their health (Jilisha, Menon and Olickal, 2019).

 

Summary

Jilisha, Menon, and Olickal (2019) illustrate the key point that young people have nomophobia. They proved this point through experiments. According to the experiment, more than 20% of the participants [Who were the participants?] have severe nomophobia. More than half of the participants in the experiment spend a lot of time using smartphones every day. Most of them use mobile phones during leisure time and while sleeping. [Do you mean while they should be sleeping?] Nearly 40% of the participants said that using smartphones hindered learning. More than half of the participants said that they would check their smartphones immediately after waking up in the morning. At the same time, nearly half of the participants said that using smartphones has an impact on their health. (Jilisha, Menon and Olickal, 2019) Finally, Jilisha, Menon and Olickal (2019) use the research in these research reports as a conclusion, It shows that it is increasingly difficult for young people to distinguish the boundary between normal smartphone use and addiction. Relevant institutions need to take measures to educate about nomophobia. [Did the researchers mention social media, specifically in this article?]

Response/Analysis

From my perspective, it is quite reasonable that nomophobia is very common among the college students. Over time, more and more people can use smartphones, and more and more people suffer from nomophobia. As the experiment shows, there are many college students who use smartphones for a long time every day. I believe that many college students rely on smartphones to varying degrees. They use smartphones to do many things. At first, they may use smartphones only to send messages to their parents or friends. Then, they use smartphones to do something else like play games and watch video. And this is why they slowly began to change from normal use of smartphones to gradually becoming addicted to smartphones, and finally get nomophobia. Some of them will feel uncomfortable without using a smartphone. This can be said to be a phenomenon of nomophobia. What makes matters worse is that the young people like college students often ignore the severity of the effects of nomophobia. Thus, causing serious harm to their body and mind. [I suggest explaining what nomophobia means because not all of your readers will know]

Entry 2

Reference Entry

Cole, L. (2020, August 28). What is nomophobia? Am I addicted to My Phone?: Mentalup. Retrieved March 05, 2021, from https://www.mentalup.co/blog/phone-addiction

Interesting Quotes and Paraphrases of Key Points

➢ According to Cole (2020, August 28), “Nomophobia symptoms can include anxiety, respiratory alterations, trembling, perspiration, agitation, disorientation and tachycardia.”

•         Reason for Selecting this Quote: I think this sentence directly indicates the symptoms of phobia. This is exactly what I was looking for. [I think you can paraphrase this. We typically don’t use quotes of exact words unless we can’t use our own words to have the same impact]

➢I want to paraphrase the next paragraph because it shows the effect of child and teenagers as they addicted to smartphone.

Kids and teenagers addicted to phones can experience:

•         Learning difficulties
•         Lack of concentration and focus
•         Behavioral problems
•         Personality problems
•         Eating disorders
•         Sleeping disorders
•         Socializing problems

Along with other mental and physical problems. As always, one addiction can lead to another. Kids addicted to phones can, later on, pick up a gaming disorder or other addictions as well. Keeping an eye out for teenage cell phone addiction symptoms and interfering when needed has extreme importance to prevent your child from developing nomophobia or phone addiction (Cole (2020, August 28).

Paraphrase of this Quote: Indulging in smartphones can have many effects on children and young people, including physical and psychological aspects. Addiction to smartphones can also make them addicted to other things. It is very important to pay attention to children and teenagers. When they become addicted to smartphones, they should be intervened in time (Cole (2020, August 28).

Summary

Cole (2020, August 28) explained in her article the impact of being addicted to smartphones as a product of mobile technology. The author first defines what is nomophobia, the symptoms of nomophobia, and the definition of mobile phone addiction. Then, the author enumerated the phenomenon and impact of mobile phone addiction. One of the most important is the physical and psychological effects of mobile phone addiction on children and adolescents, such as learning difficulties, lack of concentration and focus, behavioral problems, personality problems and eating disorders. The author says that one type of addiction leads to another type of addiction. If people do not intervene in time, children and teenagers who are addicted to mobile phones are likely to suffer from other addictions. Pay close attention and timely intervention are very important. Cole (2020, August 28) Finally, Cole (2020, August 28) introduces some methods to stop phone addiction to end the article.

Response/Analysis

         This article will focus on the impact of mobile phone addiction to people. I believe that many people are addicted to mobile phones to varying degrees. [Remember, in analysis writing we try to avoid agree/disagree statements so that we can be objective] And this makes people suffer from the effects of addiction to mobile phones. Whether it is children, young people, or adults, they are all affected by mobile phone addiction or nomophobia. I firmly agree with the following point: Excessive use of mobile phones will lead to negative effects. I believe that anyone who is addicted to mobile phones or has nomophobia will have different effects. We have to closely observe the relatives or friends around us. It is very important to find out their symptoms in time. Once we find that they have signs of addiction to mobile phones or nomophobia, we should pay close attention to them. Let them know how addiction to mobile phones or nomophobia will affect themselves. And help them get rid of mobile phone addiction or nomophobia.

It looks like you are off to a good start with the sources you have chose. You should be able to construct a solid argument for your essay. 

Here is a sample bibliography entry. Remember, you’ll need to include 2 entries for this draft.

Topic: I am researching the differences between Chinese and Western parenting styles. This topic is interesting to me because I’ve spent half of my life in China and the other half in the US. I can see a difference between my parents’ style and my American friends’ parents.

Research Question: How do cultural beliefs affect parenting styles?

Reference Entry #1
Chua, A. (2011). Why Chinese mothers are superior. Wall Street Journal, 8.

Interesting Quotes and Paraphrases of Key Points
According to Chua (2011), “the Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it” (p. 2).

Reason for Selecting this Quote: I am surprised that the author defends shaming children, so I took this quote out of the reading to allow me to show to the reader that the author did make this surprising claim that children should be shamed. After showing in my writing that Chua did make this surprising statement, I will then proceed to provide evidence against shaming.

I want to paraphrase the following paragraph because it captures a critical distinction between Chinese and Western parenting:

Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away (Chua, 2011, p. 4).

Paraphrase of this Quote: While Western parents value and nurture individuality, passions, and choices, Chinese parents focus on instilling useful skills, hard work, and unshakable confidence in their children (Chua, 2011, p. 4).

Summary of Main Ideas
Chua (2011) highlights the difference between Chinese and Western parenting, focusing on the characteristics of Chinese parenting. She argues that children build confidence when they excel at such a skill as playing a musical instrument after rigorous practice. Also, she calls for shaming and punishing children when they are not respectful or fail to receive an A in school. In fact, she states that:

Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away (Chua, 2011, p. 4).

In addition, the author maintains that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents and making them proud. In order to illustrate the positive influence of coercion, the article describes in rich detail how she resisted her husband to successfully coerce her daughter Lulu into playing a piano piece. Finally, Chua (2011) explains that, whereas all parents want what is best for their children, Chinese parents have a unique way to go about it. For example, while Western parents value and nurture individuality, passions, and choices, Chinese parents focus on instilling useful skills, hard work, and unshakable confidence in their children (Chua, 2011, p. 4). In summary, Chinese parenting is unique, relying on skill-building, shaming and coercion to raise strong and hard-working children.

Response/Analysis
I believe that Chua (2011) makes a strong case in support of remaining firm when children are about to give up. However, in my view, the author’s argument lacks evidence of the consequences of her parenting style on children’s long-term mental health. My proposed compromise is not to shame children, while remaining firm when motivating them.

Why I choose my topic: I would like to choose this topic because I am interested in how virtually traveling experiences may be different from traditional traveling. I want to explore how people interact with each other online even though we have different backgrounds and languages. I would like to find similarities and differences among cultures and promote cultures to others who might be interested.

Research questions: 

1) How does traveling help people to discover new lifestyles and development of personal characteristics?
2) What is the connections between traveling and interactions among people? [I think this question might be a little too big for this essay. Some people travel without interacting with others.]
3) How does internet help and change the way we travel to a place?
4) How does virtual traveling experience ( Gamification) help people managing through COVID?

Topic: How does virtual learning ( gamification ) and online traveling experiences impact behaviors of people to learn different cultures without physical contacts? [This seems like another research question to me. It is very similar to the first question you listed above. It might be a good idea to focus on this question only because there should be a lot of great ideas and resources regarding this topic.]

Annotated Bibliography:

                                                                  Entry 1 

Reference:  

Sigala, M. (2015). The application and impact of Gamification funware on trip planning and EXPERIENCES: The case OF tripadvisor’s funware. Electronic Markets, 25(3), 189-209. doi:10.1007/s12525-014-0179-1

Summary: 

                 This journal article reveals how gamification plays important role in attracting people’s attention to travel around the world. One example that Sigala (2015) showes is TripAdvisor’s funware, which allows people to plan and change their traveling processes and destinations. [I’m not sure I understand how this is an example of gamification. Lots of apps let you change your plans. You might need to give one or two examples]. Gamification has great potential in marketing because it is simple and gives customers sufficient web experiences. Gamification also values faithfulness and satisfaction of customers. This paper focuses on investigating how gamification may affect user’s virtual experiences and behaviors by collecting datas from users’ online experiences. It explains how funware encourages users to interact with each other and form games mechanics such as user profile and activity feed. [Similar to my previous comment: I think providing an example would help your readers understand this better] These gameful experiences improve travelers’ egos and self- esteem when they complete certain tasks.This paper also conducted research  on how the funware designs impact TripAdvisor by motivating the travelers to engage in the website and how it impacts the travelers’ decision-making by looking at the reviews. Moreover, the gamification application is enabled by Facebook, which means users can logging into the TripAdvisor’s website with their Facebook account to chat with friends and match the game mechanics with their own values. 

Reflection: 

                  This paper supports my topic because it is similar to the product we make. The main focus of this paper is to attract customers’ attention by giving out interesting game mechanics and motivate people to use the product. It is not just a game, it gives the opportunities to create your own planning process and encourage you to chat online and make friends with others. It collects satisfactions of customers and improves based on customer reviews. Games have been involved since the birth of humans. There are different games such as board games and card games. People then have games on their electronic devices since technology is gradually becoming something that people rely on. People interact with each other through phones. It fits my topic to encourage people to learn different cultures while avoiding physical contacts. [I think you’ll need to provide some specific examples of how these virtual interactions encourage people to learn more about different cultures.] People can build their own profiles and read friends’ activities. Our customers can use the product to gain their rewards and achieve some goals each time they learn some knowledges about a country. 

Paraphrasing: 

            TripAdvisor’s game mechanics help to form interesting experiences of the places customers visit because TripAdvisor would recommend the most popular places and engage users to stay and avoid tourist traps from reviews from other users. ( Sigala, 2015, p.2)

Analysis: 

           I choose paraphrase the paragraph because it tells me how TripAdvisor can help people travel and gives best suggestions on where to spend time and time spent at destination. In our product, we will also give best advice to inform our customers the most popular places to visit and eat. With the game mechanics and funware, people can perceive their trip experience and make them feel they are like in the real place instead of virtual traveling .

                                                                 Entry 2

Reference:

Rosenbloom, S. (2013, May 31). Let’s play: Making travel a game. Retrieved March 04, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/travel/lets-play-making-travel-a-game.html?searchResultPosition=3

Summary:  

                This news [article] demonstrates how a couple uses a game app called Stray Boots to establish a virtual city tour. The app would ask questions like “ what color is the wall painted?” When the user answers the question correctly, they gain points and win prizes. [I’m a little confused about this example. Why is it asking about the color of this wall? How is this an example of cultural exchange?] The app also has its GPS feature to discover sites. In addition, this news [article] also includes how this game assists people to engage and solve puzzles. It leads to a change of behaviors of customers in psychological aspects. The more challenging a problem is, the more time customers would spend in order to get the rewards. [Are customers playing with other people online or are they playing alone?] The elements of game mechanics allow users to know how many countries they have visited and create special memories. It also helps companies to achieve some business goals and earn profits. Companies will create more and more creative designs and  programs in order to engage customers. If companies introduce the same concepts, users would have aesthetic fatigue and not be willing to download the app. Promotions and surprises are necessary in order to attract users. 

Reflection:

                   This news [article] presents a similar idea as our product of creating fun experience to customers in an app and explore world. Users can save a lot of money in the game instead of going somewhere they don’t know. They can also plan to go to the place they are interested in after knowing the basic knowledge so that they can avoid some problems when traveling. It is easy and quick to create an account. Companies try to create more emotional elements such as choosing own avatars. People can share their comments under arts works that are shown. One big concern would be that gamification may fail to earn profits for travel industries because customers already knew what the places have. These gamification company owners can cooperate with travel industries. For example, gamification companies can give higher level players certain coupons and discounts when they travel to other countries. [I think you need to provide a stronger connection between this article and the idea of learning about different cultures through virtual travel. For example, how is this game different from simply researching these sites on your own?]

Quote: 

          “ A map of the world shows players where their avatar is on its journey, and an Indiana Jones-style graphic line between cities enables users to track their progress. There is also a weekly sweepstakes, where five players are randomly selected to earn 100,000 points.” ( Rosenbloom, 2013, p.4)

Reason to choose the quote: 

         I choose this quote because it gives an example of how users can keep an eye on their accomplishments and the visual pictures of the cities. It also gives a sense of excitement when people can be picked as the “ lucky people” to win points and treats.

Both of these sources make sense considering your topic. I think you’ll need to provide some specific examples or analysis of how these apps/games encourage users to learn more about other cultures. You might also want to consider how the gamification of travel is different from simply researching different places online (which can still help people learn about other cultures). One suggestion: maybe choose another source that helps you explain how games promote interaction and/or cultural exchange.