Month: October 2018

If I knew my role, I would not be as lost as I am now. I would not be drifting around in my classes and procrastinating when it comes to doing homework. I do not know my role in Baruch. I am just that normal guy that is like “What is going to happen next?” It would be wonderful if I was fed the answers to the questions in my life. What should I aim to become? What is my true self that I should strive for? Why go to college? To get an education that would get me a good job? What makes being a Baruch Scholar any different from any other college student out there? I just got higher grades and had a pretty good essay but, that does not mean I am better than the non-scholar students. The fact that I get the label as a scholar is a question itself. The idea of what it means to be a scholar is dependent on society and the time period we are in. I may be a scholar in terms of Baruch but, my employer may not think the same way. Who knows maybe I will be the employer hiring a Baruch Scholar. That would be funny.

It is easy for people to say that you will discover life on your own but, why would I ever ask anyone about life if I knew what was going on. What do I think my role in the community should be? That question in itself makes me question just how much an individual can really do in a community. That does not mean an individual can not lead society to one direction but, it questions how much power you really have in the decision of your role. Like I cannot say that my role is to become a dictator in the community because, that just is not realistic. There are other factors that affect it like, what family I was born into and what country I was born into. From what I think, my role has already been decided the moment I was born. I can imagine that there is some higher being up there (or even down there) that is playing a game with my life. It is just that I have yet to realize what my role is and I do not know if Baruch will help me figure stuff out. When I do, I will come back to this question again.

This is related to the culture of service the Honors Programs promotes because, it comes down to the idea of giving back to the community. It is the same concept of big businesses being socially responsible after getting rich from the common people. I have to give back to the community that brought me up. For I hold myself responsible for the future generations…is that my role?

Starting badminton in high school played a role in shaping who I am today. It gave me confidence whenever I became able to do shots I could not before and the experiences I have had with it made me become more open to other people’s idea. Because, in order to get better, I had to always listen to my coaches and think about what they would say. Honestly, as it came time to go to Baruch, all my coaches started to leave the club I went to. It was a really tough time for me and I had to think about a lot of things on my own. That is why when I came into Baruch, it has already begun changing some thoughts I have. Like my English and Sociology class I have right now. The ideas that show up in the readings and conversations I have in class really made me more self-conscious of the world we live in today. That a lot of things have already been decided for us and that we either do not care or just do no realize it yet. As a college student, I feel like if I went the normal route, I will end up becoming an employee but, I feel this is not something I want to become after college. Sure, I have a wage and money but, is that really what it means to live in today’s society? That is the reasoning that I have always been listening to from my family but, once again, the idea that there is something is not in my own control comes about. I pray that I do not get kicked out of the scholars for not making the grade requirements in the first semester.