After I reviewing my 30 seconds pitch, I have to say I didn’t do it very well. The pitch video was recorded without preparation. Honestly speaking, I was very nervous at the moment and there were totally no ideas in my mind. Suppose the five points is the full score, I would grade myself as one point or two points.
Since the volume in the video record is really low, I can’t hear very clearly what I was saying. But I remember my content definitely didn’t meet the 4 C’s requirement: conciseness, clarity, coherency and cogency. For example, after I introducing my major Quantitative Methods and Modeling, I said that the name of the major is really long. I think I can say this in a free talking or in a conversation with friends. However, it is obviously not appropriate in a 30 seconds pitch. In addition, the content in the pitch did not hundred percent aim to the goal. The audiences may feel lost about what I really want to express. Otherwise, I believe there are many grammatical errors and pronunciation problems in the pitch.
Referring to the nonverbal communication, I didn’t do a good job, either. First of all, I didn’t stand in a relaxed, professional manner. I crossed my hands from the beginning to the end. Crossing the hands is a not my natural style when I were speaking to one person instead of to a group of audiences. Simply speaking, I didn’t be myself at the moment. This is an evidence shows that I was really nervous. Otherwise, my facial expression also looks not natural as well. Although my facial expression was not totally stony or deadpan, it didn’t keep relaxed. And I didn’t vary my expression according to the subject and the occasion. Compared to these three elements of body language, I think I did eye contact better. I started by looking at the friendly faces (Of course, all of our classmates’ faces are friendly faces) and then connect with other people throughout. I tried my best to avoid staring at someone or looking continually at the floor.
30 seconds pitch is just like a short and brief self- introduction. It’s quite important either in a job interview or under some other situations. This tape record is a good practice to remind me that I should get the 30 seconds self- introduction prepared at any time. If I can do it again, I will focus more on my content and try to make it closely related to the goal. Practice again and again in front of the friends or families, and check whether they have got the brief idea about what I want to express. If not, that means there are still some problems in the content. I believe if the content is good, no grammatical errors involved, it will help me to be much more confident, relax and nature in performing other nonverbal communication skills.
Ms. He,
Fortunately for you we do not emphasize grammar and structure when we evaluate the communication blogs. While you do an adequate job of assessing your 30-second pitch, it is overshadowed by serious concerns in your written presentation which cause a distraction to any reader with a better communication sense than what you represent in this document. For example, the opening sentences to this blog are awkward and long.
In terms of your content, there is redundancy and repetition which can be misinterpreted by the reader. This is more pronounced by poor sentence structure and numerous grammatical errors, e.g. run-on sentences, sequencing errors, double negatives, punctuation mistakes, etc. It would help to take the time to proofread your work several times before you render them a “finished product”. When in doubt, refer to Munter for suggestions in developing “white space” and “high skim value”.
These comments may seem critical; however, they are intended to have you take a thorough look at the structure and content of your messages.
By following some basic rules, your work will develop nicely.
Thank you,
Emmett Green