Something I never thought much about was having the ability to walk around freely without needing any help is something nobody really thinks about and appreciates. I never really thought much about how one would get around in the city on their own without a car or help from other people. In New York City most people get around by trains, buses, bikes or simply by walking around. I had gotten injured pretty badly playing basketball during my senior year in high school, my last year of highschool, my last year to do sports with my team.
Right before my senior season for basketball was about to start I tore my acl and meniscus during practice on a Saturday. I was out for about a week before I felt I was good to go back to playing again but I wasn’t ready yet. I just ended up getting injured again for a second time by being run over by one of my teammates mid air. But I returned to play after two weeks by then it was already the third game of the season. I was put in for like a minute and I made one shot just for my knee to give out on me. I sat out for the rest of the game but when I tried to get up again I was unable to straighten out my leg at all so I had to hop on one leg all the way back to the elevator and my friends dad drove me home thank god.
Even though I injured the same leg again, I for some reason still didn’t get an MRI for that leg like my coach had said too. I had only gotten an X-ray and if you didn’t know an acl tear won’t show up on an X-ray it will only show up on an MRI so my X-ray came back clear since my bones were fine. I also hadn’t gotten an MRI because MRI’s take longer to be scheduled and I just didn’t have the time to go to the doctors and schedule all that. After finally getting a referral to an orthopedic doctor from the hospital I got my MRI scheduled for a month later. I was told I had torn my acl and meniscus pretty badly and needed surgery. Which would put me on crutches for around 3 months and in physical therapy for around 6 months before college started. By the time six months was gonna be over my senior year would’ve been over which meant I would be missing out on my football season as well. For the three months I was on crutches it felt like hell trying to get from place to place. It was exhausting using crutches to walk, crutches also hurt if you’re using it to walk for long periods of time as well. I really thought just walking around and trying to get to school was the hard part but trying to get to my classes was even worse because at my highschool they did not provide you with an individual elevator key so you would have to find a teacher that did have a key and sometimes you either can’t find an available teacher OR they just don’t own a copy of the key. I had to miss out on so many activities because I didn’t have the energy to hang out with anyone. I learned to be grateful that I am able to walk normally now. I really took being able to walk for granted after this because I was on crutches for so long and I had a brace that I had to keep on as well. I was constantly exhausted mentally and physically so I didn’t bother trying to hang out with anyone. I would go to school and go straight home. I didn’t have the energy to try and keep up with my friends. I was over everything at that point. I missed out on the senior trip since I was still in crutches. I couldn’t go watch any of my team’s games because they were all too far from me. I hated my senior year cause I couldn’t walk.
It got me really thinking how hard it is for disabled people to get around in a city like New York if they didn’t own a car and have people to help them everyday. We really do take everything we have for granted and it is a privilege to be able to do so.
Hi Chloe,
Thank you for sharing your story.
The teachable moment is to appreciate what you have no matter what it is. The teachable moment is clearly stated. The lede of the story is at the end of the story when you said “I learned to be grateful that I am able to walk normally”. The shape of the narrative does make sense I think you should explain more about what happened when you slowly started healing again were you able to play again or was that it for your senior year. The threat I saw in the story was when you were in crutches for 3 months and was always exhausted and low on energy. A question I have is did you heal in time for your football season or were you out for the rest of your senior year? Overall I think this story is very well written and the details about what happened is very descriptive and well explained.
Regards,
Daniel Lei
Dear Chloe,
I think the teachable moment is clearly stated in your story and I think the teachable moment is about your injury and how having the ability to walk around freely without needing any help is something nobody really thinks about and appreciates. I believe the lede of your story is your first paragraph when you talked about how you turned your ACL and meniscus during your practice in your senior year of high school. I would say your story is in chronological order talking about how you tore your ACL and the process from there where you went to get an X-ray and then an MRI, surgery, and then physical therapy for 6 months. I say the graph would start from down first and then go down a little more, and gradually go up. So it looks like an upside-down “u.” Some threats/opportunities I see is that how you had a hard time going to classes as they don’t provide you with individual keys so sometimes it’s hard to get on the elevator. Another one would be how you didn’t get the MRI as soon as possible but had to wait for a month later. Maybe you could shorter the sentence where it says “I really thought just walking around and trying to get to school was the hard part but trying to get to my classes was even worse because…” because it’s way too long.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or queries relating to the above.
Regards,
Jenny Chen
Dear Chloe,
I am sorry to hear about your injury. The teachable moment is to appreciate the small things that healthy people can do. You suffered an ACL injury and experienced how difficult it was to walk with crutches. Just the simple act of being able to walk freely with no hassle is something that we take for granted. The lede can be seen towards the very end of the narrative, “ We really do take everything we have for granted and it is a privilege to be able to do so”. The narrative is well strcutred and you expose the readers to your experience with the injuries that you faced in chronological order. A threat was when you continued to play basketball even after being out for a week due to injury. I know that it was your senior year but knee injuries are very serious and they should not be taken lightly or else it could end up worse in the long run. I feel that you could have added dialogue with your coach to make the readers more engage and have more of a sense of sympathy. I enjoyed the story because it shows your resilience and character to recover from such a devastating injury.
Best Regards,
Charly T.
Dear Chloe,
Thank you for sharing your story. Your teachable moment resonates to my story. I had a very similar situation since I rolled my ankle and fractured a bone when I was practicing for a March Madness basketball tournament in junior year. As I was jumping for the rebound, I was bumped mid-air and awkwardly landed on someone’s foot and rolled my ankle. I was in agony, had to be carried back to the school and was placed on crutches for a week. Of course a ACL tear is much more severe than a rolled ankle and I’m shocked on how you dealt with the challenge and fought through the pain during senior year of high school. The lede in the story is,” We really do take everything we have for granted and it is a privilege to be able to do so.” Being able to walk normally is way better than being disabled since you have more mobility and able do normal activities. The narrative is very well structured since you clearly being excited to start basketball season and then being at your lowest point experiencing an ACL injury and not being able to participate in outside activities with friends and school related events. Once you find out about the ACL tear injury, you can describe the dialogue between your parents and doctors to best deal with the injury.
Best Regards,
Danny L