I appreciate the way you structured your memo. Adding titles to your paragraphs allows for a more succinct and structured writing style.
Regarding the content of your memo, I feel equally passionate about the delicate issues facing young people in Lod. It’s a very complicated situation as you clearly understand. The issues are extrapolated from your own experiences which lends credibility to your mission. Since this was supposed to be strictly a problem memo, I look forward to seeing how you expand the solution.
The structure was so clear! I feel like running and revising mine now…
I can’t say I know much about Lod, but the issues plaguing the youth seem to be the same issues we see in other communities with troubled young people. The immigration into the area looks like an interesting difference, that may require a different solution. Celebrating and encouraging positive diversity is an extremely important matter, especially for Israel. Good use of that information to expand the breadth of the memo just the right amount.
The only technical problem is the solution portion, I thought this was something we’ll explore later. But I’m happy to get an overview anyway! Great to learn about something in Israel that has a bit more positivity than the current foreign crises I consistently see regarding Israel in the U.S. news.
I appreciate the way you structured your memo. Adding titles to your paragraphs allows for a more succinct and structured writing style.
Regarding the content of your memo, I feel equally passionate about the delicate issues facing young people in Lod. It’s a very complicated situation as you clearly understand. The issues are extrapolated from your own experiences which lends credibility to your mission. Since this was supposed to be strictly a problem memo, I look forward to seeing how you expand the solution.
The structure was so clear! I feel like running and revising mine now…
I can’t say I know much about Lod, but the issues plaguing the youth seem to be the same issues we see in other communities with troubled young people. The immigration into the area looks like an interesting difference, that may require a different solution. Celebrating and encouraging positive diversity is an extremely important matter, especially for Israel. Good use of that information to expand the breadth of the memo just the right amount.
The only technical problem is the solution portion, I thought this was something we’ll explore later. But I’m happy to get an overview anyway! Great to learn about something in Israel that has a bit more positivity than the current foreign crises I consistently see regarding Israel in the U.S. news.