Reporting by Emma Delahanty

Growing up in the Nazarene Church outside of Coolidge, Arizona, where mental illness was a taboo discussion, Jared Carter says he experienced a “hollow echoing feeling” that to him felt like demons.

When, at age 16, he tried to talk to members of the church, they pushed him away, calling it “demonic powers.”

“I would have people try to exercise the demons out of my house when I was experiencing hallucinations. That happened probably three times,” he said in a December interview.

A year after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, at 33, Carter posted his story on Facebook, and members of every church he was a part of since he was a child reached out to him.

Carter said the church members shared similar stories. “Jared, I was living with OCD, I was living with bipolar disorder — I was suicidal,” he said they wrote him.

Carter wanted to change the narrative that shame comes with mental disorders.  So, he changed the conversation.

In March 2023, Carter and his wife, Patricia Carter, started Bless This Brain, a ministry on its way to become a nonprofit, to help Christians and non-Christians through mental-health struggles.

The mission stated on the organization’s website: “No Christian should have to face a mental health struggle alone.”

People come to their website seeking help in navigating the health care system, and they do the work for them, as he explained that the process can be challenging.

“We just do that for them, and we do that completely for free,” Carter, who is now 40, said.

As of 2022, 53.9 million U.S. adults live with mental illness. A Johns Hopkins study found that 9.5% of American adults will suffer from some depressive illness including bipolar disorder, major depression or dysthymia.

In Carter’s early diagnosis, he had one symptom that powered the art he produces today — auditory hallucination — the perception of sounds that aren’t there.

Not being able to keep a long and fulfilling job for all of his life, Carter decided it was time for a change.  He took two things he’s passionate about — audio and gas stations, which became his muse when he wondered about the different types of people that gas station workers meet every day — and made it into a podcast.

Desert Skies, Carter’s first and currently only podcast that is available to listen on Apple Podcasts, battles the question of where we go after death.

This comedic and philosophical podcast follows fictional characters at a gas station — the attendant, the mechanic and Sherley, an older woman who died and decides not to go to the next life yet.

The gas station, which is in the middle of a desert, is the anchor between the living and the afterlife.

Those who die pass by the gas station before driving off to the next life.

During the editing stages of the episodes, Carter, his wife, and three kids have “listening parties,” where each person sits in a corner of their home with their headphones on to listen to the episode, later providing Carter with feedback.

The now-published episodes have made their way to a fiction podcasting class in New York City at Baruch College. Journalism Professor Gisele Regatão, creator of two fiction podcasts and former senior editor for culture at WNYC, introduced the world of DIY podcasting to her fiction class with Desert Skies.

Desert Skies became a quick hit for her class, as Carter voices all of the characters in the podcast.

“His talent for impersonating different characters, it’s incredible, remarkable, so different and so natural,” Regatão said.

During a panel held at Baruch College’s Mishkin Gallery that hosted Carter, Sharon Mashihi, creator of the podcast Appearances, and Dawnie Walton, host and creator of Ursa Short Fiction, Carter opened up to the class about his struggles with his mental health.

Regatão said, “he shared so many stories that aren’t easy to talk about.”

Carter explained that he wants people to feel understood through his work, so that they don’t feel alone. Available on his website is his email, where he regularly receives messages from listeners.

“One person reached out that worked at a gas station and said, ‘You gave my job meaning, where I didn’t feel like I had it before,’” Carter said.

Carter wanted people to have a platform to open up, so on the website, he created a guestbook, where people can write their feelings and thoughts on the podcast.

One listener named Heidi from Waterloo, Iowa, works at a nursing home, which, as she wrote, is a “place where people die often.”

She felt a connection to the podcast as it confronts death head-on.

“I spend most of my mornings listening to this podcast,” she wrote. “Even if this podcast is fiction, it’s still a comfort. Thank you.”

Carter also once worked in an assisted care facility. His response to Heidi, “I know it can be hard being face-to-face with death so much of the time. I’m glad to know DS provides comfort to you as you serve some of the most vulnerable among us.”

His thoughts on death began when Carter lost a friend at an early age.

“Attending the funeral of a 16-year-old left a really profound mark on me.”

Carter is also a writer, poet and mosaic artist. After losing his friend, much of his poetry and audio reflected death.

He wanted to acknowledge the inevitability of death through Desert Skies, but also emphasize the opportunity that listeners still have to live.

“I wanted people to see that and go ‘I’m still alive, I can still apologize to my kid,’ or go ‘I’m still alive, I can still go outside and play, I’m still alive, I don’t have to worry about becoming rich,’” he said.

Yet, creating content so personal to so many, Carter worries about the impact he has on his listeners.

“I felt a lot of fear on my responsibility to these people,” he said.

As the Desert Skies series comes to an end in season three, Carter plans to continue his passion in audio, turning away from science fiction, but never losing the theme of found family.

“I have so many stories I want to tell and if I can get over this tremendous fear of people that I have and just make the art that matters to me,” he said, “I know I am always going to find an audience.”

The reporter, Emma Delahanty, was a student in Professor Regatāos’ fiction podcasting class.