English 2100: Identity and Representation

Whenever I ride a roller coaster, Rather than screaming on top of my lungs, i find myself lost in the thoughts of life.It reminds me of the Past. The past filled with happiness, joy, excietement and joviality. But then, that is not it. There is always some sourness to even mangoes, then this is life.

Through out my life, I had to make decisions where i had no idea of what the next morning would be like.  There were nights i tried closing my eyes with the hope of evacuating the tunnel of anxiety just to earn some peace but barely do i recall a thing happening.

One of the most difficult decisions to this date is perhaps the decision to not see my family everyday when i wake up. If it was just the game of heart vs. mind, chances are, I would have gone with my heart. But the question is, was that actually a decision?

To a lot of people, it is a decision. To me, it meant protecting my family. This one decision of mine would decide the kind of life all of us would be able to spend. For the first time in life, i felt like i was stranded on an island and there was no ray of hope.

Perhaps, sometimes the bad happens for the better. Perhaps there was supposed to be no sun that day, for the brighter one was still to appear. And it did. If not one way, maybe the other way. as far as i learned something valuable from it.

People often ask me who I am  so to all the people wondering, this is me. This is someone built from the pressure of the society,someone built from the troubles in the past, someone who never thought of making it alive and safe here today.

The first time I saw this image was in the MOMA and it piqued my interest at first because of all the randomness of it, how the artist just splattered paint all over the canvas. I could feel/imagine what this artist was feeling while making this painting which piqued my interest even more.