English 2100: Identity and Representation

When we were assigned to do this audio essay, I felt nervous and annoyed because I didn’t want to share the personal struggles that I faced with language. However, after sharing and listening to everyone’s audio essays, I realized that everyone at one point of lives had problems with their linguistic identity. A common theme in all of the essays was the theme of shame and regret because of the struggles they faced when they were communicating with family, friends, and community.  This element in their essays made a strong impression on me because in my own personal experiences with language I also faced problems with the language barrier. My story was similar to both Simon’s and Maria’s essays because our stories involved the struggles we faced when we were at school. I can relate to Simon’s story because both of us were excluded from the rest of the class and we both felt isolated. I can also relate to Maria’s story because we both felt scared and lonely because we were unable to talk with anyone.

Another common theme I observed during the class essays was the problem with family. The inability to speak to family members had caused many problems with the relationship between the children and the parents. I personally enjoyed Jenny’s essay because the way she talks to her parents is similar to how I talk to my parents. Like Jenny, I also speak in Chinglish (combination of English and Chinese) in order to communicate with my parents because of my lack of Chinese. This causes many problems because I am never able to fully convey what I want to my parents and it causes confusion between us.

Overall, this was an unusual experience for me because it was nerve-racking to share my story with everyone and it was weird hearing my own voice. However, after hearing all of my classmate’s experiences with language, I realized how similar our stories were. By hearing their stories, I had learned more about my classmates on a more personal level and the struggles they went through. This audio essay had shown how similar everyone is when it relates to language.

I had mixed feelings about this essay. I really enjoyed listening to my peers’ essays and learning more about them. But on the other hand, I was afraid to put myself out there and tell my story and to hear my voice was a very strange feeling to me. However even though I had mixed feelings about this essay overall, I really enjoyed the experience of sharing my story and listening to what other people had to say about my story. I was also able to give my input to my peers’ story as well and got to interpret their story as well. Which gave me the opportunity to have an outer body experience where I put myself in my peers’ shoes and saw how It was like to bilingual from their perspective. I found that there were a lot of hardships with in their lives from being bilingual. Whether It be from not being able to communicate to Americans correctly or not being able to communicate with their own families correctly. When I heard Nazims story I was shocked to the fact that when she was in her mother country and spoke the mother tongue of the country her peers laughed at her. Which made her feel like a outsider and not very comfortable in the classroom. I can loosely relate to this because when I first came to this country I had to introduce myself in a class room and people laughed at me as well because of the way I spoke English. Which made me feel ashamed of being an immigrant from Brazil just how Emily said that some Russian immigrants feel ashamed to say that they are Russian immigrants. I felt that most immigrants when they first come to America they feel ashamed because they do not speak the language and the natives judge them for that. Which I have mixed feelings about because in one hand the immigrants live in a country where mostly everyone speaks English and I believe it is their responsibility to learn English not the natives to feel sorry and be understanding. However, if that immigrant that was being judged was me or even worse my mother I would not want the natives to judge her and to be understanding of her situation. As Rapsang mentioned in his audio essay learning English came with a price to him. As he developed and got better in English he started to forget his native language and felt isolated from his own people. Which has also happened to me. However, I saw that happening to me with my family and I quickly just strictly thought in Portuguese and spoke to my mother in Portuguese.

We take many things for granted, like the languages and cultures we know, and when we do, we end up regretting it in the future. Many of us wished that they go back in time and preserve the languages they once knew. From the audio essays, it made me view my classmates in a whole new perspective. This experience gave me a sense that even though we are from such different backgrounds, our struggles and regrets are all similar. In one way or another me and my classmates struggle through rough times like learning a new language and trying to find who we truly are.

I could relate to many of the audio stories that my classmates had presented. One of the essays that I really connected to was Angela’s. Angela reveals that her mother tongue is Cantonese, but her parents both speak Mandarin and Cantonese. Due to this difference she was placed into classes to help her learn the Chinese language. I relate a lot to this in a sense that my parents are also able to speak both Chinese languages, and expected me to learn it as well. They forced me to take classes believing that it would come in handy in the future. Without taking them seriously, I regretted it later on. When I tried to apply for a job in a pharmacy, the employers seemed so disappointed that I could only speak Cantonese. With such disappointment they never hired me. If I placed more effort into learning my origin language, like Emily, there would had been a better chance for me to get employed. Emily’s essay revealed that she wanted to learn Russian so she’s able to communicate with her family. Due to effort and persistence, she was able to get the results she had hoped for. I never felt proud of knowing my hometown language of Cantonese, but with Emily’s essay it made me realize how lucky am I to understand both English and Cantonese at a young age.

Unlike many of my peers, I did not have to adapt to a new country and learn a whole new language. Elaine moved to the United States at the age of 10 and was struggling to fit in like most immigrants. Although I was born in the United States, like Elaine I struggled with the English language. However, what made me realize she was so different was her ability to help her family in this foreign country. It’s not easy to adjust to a new life, but Elaine was able to do learn English and became a translator to her parents. She matured in such a young age, helping her parents out so they did not need to struggle anymore. Although I haven’t experience translating at a young age, but I had been translating at my grandparents’ appointments due to their lack of understanding of the English language. Similar to Elaine, I didn’t want my family, in my case my grandparents, to be left out in a country that is so foreign to them. However from learning the English language, our native tongues are slowly disappearing. In result we would speak to our family members in Chinglish, rather than traditional Chinese.  

Hearing myself and my classmates through the speakers was very unusual. I’m used to hearing them in person, so when they spoke through the speakers it sounded like another person. Although this experience was unusual, I realized how similar we all are and got to connect with those similarities.

I thought this assignment was actually pretty great because we don’t often take the time to reflect about how we take our backgrounds for granted. It was nice to hear a part of everyone’s stories and also situations that help shaped them into the person they are today. I didn’t expect literally every student in the class to have a story about their language, regardless if it impacted them positively or negatively. Some repetitive themes that were showing up often in the recordings were regrets, judgements, and lack of sympathy from others. I also realized that many of the students has similar stories to mine and I was really able to empathize with their situation. I honestly think this coincidence wouldn’t have occurred if we were living in another city.

I really enjoyed listening to ZhenYuan recording. Her recording definitely moved me since I was also once someone who didn’t enjoy speaking to anyone else but my family because English was not my first language. Having so many classes with her, I understand that she’s quiet and shy. It’s ironic because I envy her Chinese speaking abilities, but she wishes her English was better. We’re in literally opposite situations, but it’s much easier for her to learn English and eventually be comfortable in our settings. However, it’s much harder for me to improve my Chinese, since there’s not many people I can talk to with it. But I’m glad there were other people in the class who has the same language situation as me. For example, Anson and Jacky, we all started forgetting our first language slowly when we learned English. We turn to code switching to communicate with our relative and friends. Additionally, another recording that really stood out to me was Matthew’s. Matthew recording reminded me of the Eric Liu reading piece. Matthew stated that everyone probably has this preconceived notion that we judge him because of his nationality but really just like everyone else in the class, he struggles with his own language identity. Just like everyone else in the class, he is also insecure about his accent and ability to speak Italian.

Overall, I’m actually really glad I was able to learn all my classmates’ language backgrounds. It’s really unfortunate that many of us didn’t take language seriously at a young age. Now, we have so much going on that it’s hard to accumulate to a “new” language.

Some questions I definitely want to ask my classmates is what’s the next step? So, are we going to continue this code-switching problem or maybe down the line, we may actually preserve our cultures and hope it stays in the family line?

After hearing the audio essays of my classmates, I observed similar themes being addressed in each one of them. The majority of the essays mention a sense of regret between the writer and a language. This regret was either not knowing their native language or not learning another language besides their own. While the stories may differ, each person highlighted an important experience in his or her life that best displayed this feeling of regret. Common examples included difficulty when it came to communicating fluently with relatives and/or friends, using language to build stronger relationships, or shamed themselves for learning it too “late”.

Some aspects I noticed that were similar to my essay were the turning points mentioned. These turning points usually indicated a shift in the narrative. We used these transitions to further emphasize how a specific experience had influenced our lives to motivate us to pivot from the path we were traveling. For me, it was being exposed to people who were rude to non-fluent English speakers. Thus, motivating me to learn and speak English and defend those who didn’t know the language enough to do it themselves. Both Nick’s and Elaine’s motives came when they arrived in a new country. Nick strived to understand the people in the Dominican Republic and Elaine with the people in the U.S.

There were so many different terms people used to describe themselves or their form of communicating. Matthew referred to himself as a Ginzo- a person of Italian descent. Prior to hearing the recordings, I knew Spanglish wasn’t the only mixture of English and another native language but, I’ve never heard of the actual names and usage until my classmates mentioned them in their own personal experience. Chinglish was one that stood out to me most. Both Jenny and Joan emphasis how their use of Chinglish was used to their advantage in helping them express themselves, and how they overcame this feeling of regret. Once Joan was able to communicate in both English and Chinese, she served as a translator to her family. Even though I don’t speak Chinese, I related to this because we both extended our knowledge of languages to communicate with a broader community. We also shared the mutual feeling that we didn’t become translators for fun but, felt the need to best help our families and others since we understood the struggle they were engaging in. Joan also highlighted a time in her life when she thought English was unnecessary. As a kid I had a similar mentality, for I refused to learn or speak English. As many of the stories touched upon, knowing a “foreign” language serves a greater purpose than just for oneself.

The fact that this piece was more informal than previous works done before, helped to establish a better sense of who people were. Language can be an important part of one’s identity. I think that by allowing this informality, people were able to write more comfortably about themselves and express their own writing style. It helps makes the writing more personal. Mixing audio elements into the project also helped me formulate a thought. It is different when we read someone’s work because we like incorporate our own voice. The audio puts the literal voice of the writer and adds this extra layer for us to break down as we connect to and analyze these stories even further.

Please take some time between now and the end of the day on Friday, October 19th to reflect on the experience of sharing your audio essay and listening to your classmates’ essays. In a post of 350-450 words, share your thoughts about the experience overall and then respond more specifically to any three of your classmates’ essays. Think about what elements of their essays made a strong impression on you. What feedback would you like to give? What questions do you have? What did you LEARN from your classmates’ words? Try to be as specific as possible. If you need any help remembering exactly who said what (that’s why I told you to take notes), reach out to me, and I will try to help you!

Linguistic Identity

Everyone’s audio essays were recorded with different stories in mind, different perspectives, different language barriers, and different personalities. I did realize that nearly everyone had felt a sense of shame or discord because of our linguistic struggles, whether it was an inner conflict or a social struggle with our families. By capturing the voice of each and every student, we really hear the tonality of the words and how the sentences are structured. A big role that the listener plays in analyzing these essays is having the ability to comprehend the struggles of the narrator. Being empathetic or understanding where someone is coming from takes a big toll on a listener and changes the power behind the story or point of the piece. Being that English is my first language and I have never lived outside of the U.S, quite a few of the stories were not relatable to my linguistic identity on any level. However, a vast majority of the papers were about the same issue…bothering someone else, whether it be our family, friends, employees, due to our lack of knowledge in a specific language that our heritage is basked in. Speaking Italian was never my forte, but I always understood the language. My family at home speaks English. I was never tested on a daily basis to learn Italian fluently.

I can understand how not being able to communicate with your direct immediate family would be so difficult. Some people watch their families, friends, or loved ones struggle with a language. A part of it is based on their ignorance to advance their speaking in that language. The other part is the embarrassment that follows when you pronounce something incorrectly or have a heavy accent. People are consistently judged for having the incorrect pairing of accent and language. It is almost like a child at their 4th-grade spelling bee, experiencing stage-fright; you freeze at the wrong time and you can’t come back to reality. Gary’s story was interesting in the sense that he claimed he was left out of certain groups even as a kindergartener. Some people leave stragglers behind. It is certainly unfair to Gary because his language barrier was set on him at a young age…he couldn’t have done much as a small child. Nikolai’s story was interesting because he had 2 language barriers. He touched upon the difficulty of translating things twice and how having a brother was beneficial. Was his brother any better at speaking Spanish or Russian than he was? And if so, is there any reason for that? Do you feel shameful because you lack in one of the languages? Lastly, I would like to respond to Walter’s story. The moment of shock and nerve that dawns upon a student while they are about to present something or themselves causes havoc internally and physically. When you started to speak Portuguese, did you have any difficulty with Spanish? Did you incorporate slang from both languages?

As a whole, the presentation process really captured where everyone in the class comes from. We all have struggles that are either minor issues in our everyday language or major difficulties that we encounter at the wrong place and time.

1. What is the significance of including some Spanish phrases in the article?
2. Why does the author pick up and use different languages when talking to different people?
3. What does “Tradition of silence” mean?
4. How does ethnic identity link to linguistic identity？

1)The author states that one of the benefits of writing the book is that she reevaluated her teaching methods. Why did she need to reevaluate them?

2)In what ways are boys better adapted to usual classroom scenarios of the challenging of text and one another?

3) What are some of the limiting factors of female participation?

4)Why should small group interaction be a part of any class and what benefits does it provide?

1. Why does the author use the dentist metaphor in the beginning?

2. How would the essay changed if the author were to use only english in the essay and not spanish/chicano?

3. Who is the audience? The chicano community, non-english speakers, english speakers, or others?

4. The author states “all chicano students were required to take two speech classes. Their purpose: to get rid of our accents.” Is it worth to have classes like these with the purpose to remove foreign accents? Why or why not?