What is a true friend? A true friend is someone who is there for you in good times and bad. Someone you enjoy spending time with – whether it’s the small everyday things or major adventures. Someone you share good news with and someone who consoles you when things are bad. Someone you share a deep bond with, a soul mate. Many people are never lucky enough to find someone like this, but those who are develop a love that transcends time. It’s not surprising that with feelings as strong as these, the death of one of the friends brings with it feelings of deep despair. The surviving friend cannot imagine how he will ever go on without his partner. Gilgamesh and Enkidu in the Epic of Gilgamesh and Achilles and Patroclus in Homer’s Iliad experienced these extreme emotions. They shared amazing bonds during their lives and experienced utter devastation upon their partners’ deaths. Gilgamesh and Achilles were narcissistic, arrogant, selfish, and brutal to almost everyone else, yet each surprisingly found a lifelong partner who they had nothing but love and respect for, relied upon, and shared adventures with. They confided in each other and sought comfort in times of need. They did everything together and were partners in the truest sense. The bonds they formed with their partners were in total contrast to their natures. It defied all logic, but yet it happened.
Gilgamesh was a tyrannical ruler who cared about no one but himself. He raped women and took anyone or anything he wanted. He was an absolute brute. Enkidu was sent as an adversary to challenge Gilgamesh. At their first meeting, they fought viciously in the streets. This made it even more astonishing that they became so close. From that moment on, they were inseparable. They confronted Humbaba hand in hand. They came up with a plan to slay the Bull of Heaven which required teamwork to be successful. Enkidu would grab the Bull and Gilgamesh would stick his dagger into it. Even before they met, Gilgamesh dreamt about meeting someone he would fall in love with, a companion who would be there for him in times of trouble. The language used in the dreams was so sensual, that you would think that it was describing a woman. “There will come to you a strong one, a companion who rescues a friend…You will fall in love with him and caress him like a woman. He will be mighty and rescue you, time and again.” (Epic of Gilgamesh, p. 106, lines 261-266)
Gilgamesh and Enkidu Fight Humbaba
Achilles was just as vicious. He felt absolutely no remorse killing people, yet he maintained a strong friendship with Patroclus up until Patroclus’ death. They were inseparable. They fought alongside each other and even spent time with each other when they weren’t fighting battles. When a delegation from Agamemnon came to try and persuade Achilles to rejoin the fight, Achilles and Patroclus took turns providing food for their guests. Patroclus roasted the meat, Achilles served it, and Patroclus offered a sacrifice at Achilles’ request. “Patroclus obliged his beloved companion.” (Epic of Gilgamesh, p. 261, line 209) They were in total sync with each other. What really defined their friendship was the trust that they had in one another. Although Achilles absolutely refused to return to battle even when Patroclus begged him, he gave his friend his special divine armor so that he could lead the people. This was the armor that his mother had given to him and that meant the world to him. This act was so totally unselfish and showed the trust that Achilles had in Patroclus.
Friendship Between Achilles and Patroclus
Even more amazing than the close bond that they shared during their lifetimes, is the tenderness that Gilgamesh and Achilles displayed to their friends upon their deaths. They were devastated and mourned deeply for their friends. There was nothing that they wouldn’t do to make sure that their friends were given the proper attention and care once they were dead. Gilgamesh, usually so vain and obsessed with his appearance, gave no thought at all to his appearance when he mourned his friend. He replaced his royal clothes with animal skins and he let his hair grow matted. His heart was broken and he lovingly tended to his friend. “He hovers around him like an eagle…He paced to and fro, back and forth, tearing out and hurling away the locks of his hair. Ripping off and throwing away his fine clothes like something foul.” (Epic of Gilgamesh, p. 133, lines 54-58) He was so wracked with emotion and didn’t want to accept that Enkidu was dead. “My friend whom I so loved, who went with me through every hardship…Six days and seven nights I wept for him. I would not give him up for burial until a worm fell out of his nose.” (Epic of Gilgamesh, p.138, lines 46-51)
Gilgamesh at Enikdu’s Deathbed
Achilles was equally heartbroken over the death of his friend and mourned him in much the same way, replacing his usual beautiful clothing with clothes of mourning. “A mist of black grief enveloped Achilles. He scooped up fistfuls of sunburn dust and poured it on his head fouling his beautiful face. Black ash grimed his fine-spun cloak…, and lay there, tearing out his hair with his hands.” (Iliad, p.284, lines 23-29) He was miserable because he felt responsible for Patroclus’ death. If only he had stopped him from going out to battle and not given him his armor. He couldn’t rest until he retrieved Patroclus’ body because he couldn’t bear the thought of his beloved friend’s body being mutilated by his enemies. This was a person who spent his life brutally killing others, not caring how much pain and torture he inflicted on them and their families, but when it came to his friend he became a totally different person, someone so loving and gentle. He tenderly prepared Patroclus’ body for burial. He washed it, anointed it with olive oil, put ointment on his wounds, laid him on his bed on soft cloth, and mourned for him throughout the night. He became consumed with thoughts of the life they shared and felt so very lonely. “He tossed and turned yearning for Patroclus. For his manhood and his noble heart, and all they had done together, the hard times at sea. (Iliad, p. 312, lines 7-10)
Achilles Mourning Patroclus
Gilgamesh and Enkidu and Achilles and Patroclus achieved what many of us can only wish for but can never quite obtain. Two brutal demi-gods went against their basic natures and forged life-changing friendships. These friendships provided them with deep, enduring bonds, intense love, trust, and partnerships that lasted a lifetime. Their friendships brought out the humanity in them, something that was so lacking in their dealings with others. Their feelings ran so deep that when confronted with the death of their friends, they were devastated and inconsolable and did whatever was in their power to ensure that their friends were given a proper burial and the respect that they deserved. Losing someone who you treasure is extremely hard to live through. However, while that person may not be physically with you anymore, the memories of your wonderful times together will live on forever.
