During this whole COVID-19 pandemic, I have been able to learn a lot about the value of time and life itself. The reading of Tolstoy’s The Death of Ivan Ilyich further serves as a great reason or example on why we should make sure that we are living life to the fullest, and not spending on chasing the glamorous things only. Throughout this text, we are taken through the struggle of a brilliant and determined man Ivan Ilyich who was attracted to the beautiful things of life and forgot to actually enjoy it. The text says; “… but from early youth was by nature attracted to people of high station as a fly is drawn to the light, assimilating their ways and views of life and establishing friendly relations with them.” He wanted a good life for himself, and from a young age sought to achieve. During his search for this perfect life, he excelled in his field of career, moving higher and higher in position, and in all of this, he met his wife. His marriage to her, was not primarily because he loved her but primarily because “it was considered the right thing by the most highly placed of his associates,” She fit his class and status because she was well connected and owned property. However, as we go further into the text, this marriage could be said to be the beginning of his misfortune. He got into constant fights with his wife, and this pulled him even closer to his job than before, and this took majority of his time in life than it was supposed to.
His sickness soon begins, and this is when he realizes that he has not lived his life to the fullest. The text says; “But strange to say none of those best moments of his pleasant life now seemed at all what they had then seemed—none of them except the first recollections of childhood.” He realizes that everything he worked for and everything he yearned for was vanity, but it was sadly too late for him. This takes me back to the humbling experience of the COVID-19 pandemic. Nobody expected it just like Ivan Ilyich who would have never dreamed that he will become so ill that he will be a liability to himself and those around him. Like all of his “friends”, who when they received the news of his death were thankful it was at least not them in his situation, and were not really moved by his passing, I could link that to the behavior of some people that still choose to be outside in this pandemic even when it’s not necessary, “It has not hit close to home, so I might as well be outside for the fun of it”.
This pandemic has made me realize that the small things we take for granted or do not really appreciate could be taken away from us by death. One part that struck me was on page 767 where the text says; “Whether it was morning or evening, Friday or Sunday, made no difference, it was all just the same….” I was able to relate it to how we are living now and how some of us have lost count of the days, because the whole world is on standstill. One thing I found really important and I was able to take from this text, reading at a time like this will be that when we are eventually given a second chance (being free from COVID, and allowed to be outside again), we should take life slowly and make sure we feel every bit of it. Aspire to be the best, but make sure when we look back, we have memories that will make us smile and also be satisfied with the life we lived/ are living.
Thanks for this thoughtful response, Eunice. I think your post raises the important question of what exactly constitutes a “good life.” I also appreciate the idea of living life more slowly.