Author Archives: paul.shum

The gallery was not to my artistic taste, i don’t really like this kind of abstract art, to me i dislike it when art seems to be distorted in different ways, going beyond normal constrictions on nature. Some art had a display of colors to signify a meaning while others were plain black and white. I am not trying to say that Hans Hofmann or his students are bad at art, their art is just not to my preference. I would have liked it if the art was more concrete based, or something i actually understood. The place was pretty small, and the time range for the art was from the 19th and 20th centuries. So overall………it did not interest me.

Okay well i liked this workshop, told me what i needed to focus on, how many credits i need, and especially alarming me that i need to get my stuff in order. Taught me what courses i need to take first in order to get into the Zicklin school and which ones i should take next semester. The lady up front knew what she was talking about, but her aide i kinda thought to myself, “piss off.” But anyway, yeah i thought this was pretty helpful in outlining my needs, and open up my mind to what the best course of action i should take is. And i know i’m going to definitely minor in Chinese.

I thought the Career Workshop was a good incentive and informative presentation. It had me thinking about what i would do in the situation that i want to apply for a job, and hopefully get interviewed. The presenter gave us all a good suggestion to visit the Starr Career Development Center, and i will be sure to do that in the future. It gives me a shoulder to lean to for my future needs. I’d probably have tons of trouble writing a resume and even going to an interview, i know that for sure haha. But the presenter clearly labeled out in her presentation what the major components of a resume consist of, and what attires we should wear to the interview, and what to expect at an interview. I thought the sheets she gave out were helpful as well. It makes me realize how dull my resume and social skills would be, which is pretty much the only negativity i got out of it. But overall i thought it opened up people’s minds and got everyone thinking about it. Also i actually learned something from this!

Alright well first of all, sitting way back up in the balcony didn’t help my concentration and hearing at all. I’d have to admit I wasn’t paying attention when I thought it was pretty much useless. The three panelists come from very unique backgrounds, yet they were all tied to one unifying theme. Like Stan Altman and Charles N. Li, they talked about realities and identities. Of course, Mr. Li used his past experiences to serve as the backbone for his discussion about it. He had two cultures to base his discussion on, nonetheless. From East Asia, mostly China, and the west, the United States of America. There was also a discussion on that as well. The third panelist, I have about no clue what she was saying. But I’m sure it was very “enriching” as well.

I consider myself a “twinkie” or a ”banana” because as an Asian, yellow outside, I’ve pretty much been Americanized hence being white inside. I barely kept in touch with my Asian culture. It’s always been easy for me to get depressed; I realized what depression was when I was seven years old, when my father passed away because of cancer. While growing up I was a very mischievous and messed up kid. I would get into fights; pull tons of pranks, one of which was pull the fire alarm at the end of my street. My friends and I would chuckle when the firefighters came and went “where’s the fire?” We’d end up burning things for fun, by stacking paper or whatever was burnable. There was one time when this guy (seriously messed up in his head), took a brick and smashed it on a baby bird that was lying on the floor. I just watched, felt disgusted looking at its splattered guts. During the times in school, I didn’t get a long with people that well. I got bullied some of the time, and I felt horrible. I wanted to belong somewhere, but I ended up being a lone most of the time. When high school came along, I was still a coward for my first two years, but then I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I use violence to settle things. And what do you know; it worked out well for me. People backed off, I got time to settle in and stuff, but my socializing skills weren’t that good. I’ve always worried about school, and for the most part did good, but I ended up slipping, I’m screwing myself over and my stress level just continues to build up. Then I end up getting angry and pissed too, and I usually get depressed also. I just wish there medicine or something to grow brain cells.

Who i think i am? I don’t really know. I end up changing myself throughout my life, for the worse or better depending on my situation. Right now i am this lazy guy who hardly wants to do any school work at all. I’m more of an anti-social guy at first, but when i get to know people better that turns around. I’m more or so reserved at times and keep to myself, i get irritated and angered easily, but i try to hold it back in, but i ended up turning violent at a point during my life. Most of the time i’m honest, friendly, and i don’t like being wasteful at all. I’m also an idiot sometimes and i end up reflecting too much on my past mistakes or awkward moments. As a person i end up thinking too much about many things, some which are unnecessary and others far out into the future.  But whatever, i don’t care who i am, just as long as i don’t become too much of a burden on myself.

Top three concerns. Doing well in college, mainly academics, so i don’t have a crap future. Getting to know the college better as in regards to all that majors, schedules, professors kinda stuff. Trying to understand college life and how it will affect my future and myself. I may never know if the decisions i make now will either benefit me or worsen my present condition. My three concerns are hard for me to acknowledge and be cognizant of because of my current laid-back, procrastinating personality. It’s like the engine is there but, it just ain’t running.

First thing there is A LOT more people at Baruch college, i was in a small high school, and almost every knew each other, especially people’s secrets >_>. There will be a lot of work and study time i have to devote to college. I’ll have to be on my own most of the time and i’ll need to develop some good study habits and note taking skills which i lack tremendously. Plus…….my essay writing is total crap. That is, it takes me FOREVER, to get shit done. It’s taking me like hours to write this blog, since i do other stuff in between. I think the library is a great place, you can sleep, study, borrow books, and etc. And college is really just up to you. People won’t really care whether you fail or succeed, and it’s your life no one is going to guide you just because they really really love helping everyone. Of course, this is just my opinion.

My first year at college will probably drive me insane. Yup, definitely, with all the readings and stuff. I’m too much of a huge procrastinator, i get distracted by so many things in life. I hope i get out of my bad habits and create some good ones. Overall, i just hope i turn into a more intelligent and responsible person.