monologue

I  keep asking myself,who am I and what should I do ,but I still do not know the right answer.I am who I am, maybe  this answer is the only one that i can tell.I am eighteen years old.I am no longer a innocent child but a young adult who has responsibility to start  learning  what is the real world and how it works.More things I learnt ,more rules made by this world are needed to follow,and more and more people head into this world named ” adulthood” which is  competitive  and cruel and these people start to fight for MATERIALS.Even though the world goes like this-rules by rules,I have never stopped thinking of my own life out of these rules.

I am no longer a innocent person who cried for everything.Instead ,i will smile to everything i faced whatever it is happiness or adversity.I keep asking myself,do I know well about myself.The answer is still ambiguous.If I know myself well,then this monologue should be done in 10 mins.Why do I take so long to flash back all things happened in my life and still get no answer to any of my questions.I am so confused like I dont know what to write right now,but one thing that im so sure about is faith.Maybe I can not remember every single important thing that ever happened in my life so far and get no idea who am I,but I got my faith,the only thing pass through my life so far.I have been passed through many many many hardships and some of them are may no longer to be  kind of hardships.By using the vision of future which i call it The faith,there will be no hardships anymore,the only thing left is the experience which you gained from overcoming that situation.

I like to read literature. Through these literature works, a formula claimed  by a Chinese writer interested me the most——- The formula of happiness:  Happiness = happiness  having today + the future value.Base on this formula, if people only focus on today’s happiness ,they will have no future ,or instead if people only live for the future ,they will suffer in pain of missing something important sooner or later.Who am i again? After learing this formula ,it turns into a easy question.For now,i am a college student.In the future? Only god knows.