Planets and stars came to life on the otherwise dull white wooden surface. Anything blank around the house served as a canvas for expressing my creativity. One thing about me is that I need to let things out. I can’t bottle up emotions for too long. If I let them simmer inside me, one of two things may happen. One- I may let the emotions consume the rest of my thoughts, much like spilling paint all over them. This affects my initial viewpoints. Two- My thoughts escape me. I would much rather let everything take over than let it all go. My biggest fear in life is forgetting all the things that have shaped me into who I am today. Of course, I am not fully molded by any means. I think of it this way: when we are born, we are an empty white canvas. We have the necessary tools, in this case the paint and brushes. We spend our entire lives decorating and marking up the canvas, even changing countless details as we go on.

Trying to imagine my masterpiece right now, I can envision a few snippets. I see my struggle to fit in and interact with students as a newcomer inAmerica. I had to pick up the language, traditions and customs quickly. With this I also see a highlight, my ability to adapt to my surroundings rapidly. I see Ms. Mitchell, the aggressive middle school teacher, speaking in her heavy Jamaican accent, her voice entering my ears like a million boulders rolling down a hill. Unlike my previous easy breezy teachers, she woman was harsh, blunt and simply made me uncomfortable; however, I thank this woman for forcing me to grow up because she served as a reality check.

Always having been quite intuitive, I tend to have a sixth sense with everything I encounter. I see myself being as perceptive and insightful always, taking in my environment and letting it sink in, being open minded, considering many perspectives before making a judgment. My notes consist of sketches and diagrams; my room is filled with quotes and pictures that inspire me. I see a visual person whose mind works in an abstract way. A fear of mine is that I will fail to stand on my own feet. I see someone who covets for her independence. More than anything, I see a secular young woman who is more than ready to start her journey into the world outside of aNew York Citypublic high school and pursue the interests that she is passionate about. Ultimately I want to tie together business, marketing and psychology into a profession and call it my own.

In truth, it is when we die that we will have really finished the piece. Only then does the painting that we have remain permanent and complete. I know my originally blank white slate will have turned into a colorful frame with rich colors, meaningful icons and symbols. There will be mistakes and realizations and countless other happenings which will help color my canvas.

I had a pretty enjoyable experience at Rubin Museum of Art. I was shocked to hear that most of the collections were from the Rubin family. They must have been very rich, I thought. I enjoy seeing the collections of gods and goddesses from Himalaya and India. Even though I know how a Chinese Buddha looks like, the Himalayan Buddhas look quite different. They appeared to be less chubby. Hahaha, isn’t this funny. I was also fascinated by those three-head gods. They are so cool! They have many heads, hands, and legs! If you look closer, you see all the details of their faces. Oh, I also like the mediation room. It definitely smells good! It gives you a sense of calmness and peacefulness. I will consider go there if I’m stressed, annoyed, or troubled one day. Rubin Museum of Art is definitely a fascinating one and I enjoyed visiting.

Hello Professor Baum,

This is Xiu. I just have a question regarding to our test on this Thursday. What is the exact format for the test? How many sections are there and how are they graded?

Thank you,

Xiu Lin

Anthro 1001

TTH 11:10 am – 12:25 pm

I hate riding the train to get to class every day. It’s not because it smells or it is always late, it is because it is such a long and boring commute. Whenever I ride the train, I mostly, if not always, fall asleep. I sleep regardless if I were standing or sitting. Once I get on, I put in my headphones, grab onto a pole, and just wait. After a minute or two, my eyes slowly close on its own so I just try to relax. Then, my head tilts and my neck loses energy. When my head drops, I instantly wake up with a jump and my eyes wide open. The first thing I do is look around to see if anybody saw that. Hoping that nobody noticed it, I close my eyes again. This time, one of my legs loses energy and bends. I wake up again with a jump. This time I know everybody saw it. “That’s it, no more sleeping,” I tell myself and I take out my iPod to play games so that I don’t fall asleep. I hate these embarrassing moments. They are similar to the moments when people feel like they are falling in the beds and waking up to them. However, my moments are in public with many people watching, unlike a bed where you are alone in your own sanctuary.

Helloooooooo!!

Long time no blogging… Yes I haven’t been doing much on the blogs but I will finish it all tonight for your guys <3! If you have not posted your monologues, do it now!

First, I have to address the title. YOU ALL WERE GREAT! I was either smiling/ had the “wha the??” face on your monologues and I am very happy because of that! You all went up, and everyone got to know everyone a little bit more! Thank you for coming to class and performing your monologues! Right now… I’m reading your free writes and your top picks for Voices! I will see you all next week!! We have a lot of things planned for that day! Goodluck on midterms and tests! SLEEP! and EAT HEALTHY! and GET WELL SOON for those who are sick!!! DON’T GET SICK for those who are healthy! :3

Holy shit! I can’t believe I forgot it again. Why am I always forgetting things? Yes, I write down all my notes and all the due dates for my classes, but I am always forgetting to actually DO them. I am way too overworked. I have too many things to do nowadays. I wish I could just go back to the old days, like back in high school when everything was easy and simple. It’s not that college is hard. It’s that there are so many other things outside of college that I end up doing instead of actual work. The only thing I am thankful for right now is the warmth that this bus is bringing me. Winter is coming up and I feel my throat becoming sore, my eyes droopy, and my nose stuffed. *Yawn* I actually forgot what this assignment was about. I just know that college would be so much easier right now if I had not piled on my workload with these outside clubs. Why did I do that? Now I can’t even get myself out of it. *Sighs* I really want to go back to high school. College life sucks. It’s too easy but I don’t have time  – which just makes college more of a pain to go through.

I’m afraid of losing people. I’m afraid of losing my stuffs. I’m afraid of getting hurt. I’m afraid of death.I’m afraid of abandonment.  I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of giving up. I’m afraid that one day, i can’t keep up with anyone anymore. I will be left with nothing but disappointment and desperation. I’m afraid that I will say ” Why didn’t I try harder?”. I hate to admit but I’m afraid of many things in this world.  I try to be strong. I try to look strong. I don’t how does it work so far, but that is what I always do. My goal is to be successful at what I do. However, what will happen if I eventually lose everything oneday? Will I be the same ? School has been interesting so far, but too many home works. Good thing about it is that It keeps me busy. I live alone, so there are many things that wander on my mind.

My favorite thing in life is food. I love eating all kinds of foods. My least favorite thing in life is not being in New York City. I am depressed when I am away from my hometown for a weekend or more. Yes, a weekend is a long time. Who am I? My name is Deesha. I am a New Yorker and I would not want to be anywhere else in the world right now. I am so happy my parents moved here before having me. I just realized that I lied when I said my favorite thing in life is food. Food and New York City are two things that are both very important to me. Or maybe I like food in New York City. In New York City, one can eat many different types of foods. I can have Italian food one day, Indian the next, and Thai the day after. In this great city, the food possibilities are endless. Now I am craving a burrito.
I see myself as a happy person. I love where I am right now. I love the fact that I can eat food from almost any type of culture whenever I want to. If I ever get depressed I just think about how fortunate I am to be in New York City. Then, that depressing feeling automatically goes away.

“The hill is Coming up!”
“Here COmes the Drop!”
“Holy Craaaaap!”
I felt nauseous, excited and scared all at once. I twisted and turned and felt the pit of my stomach practically burst. I could have sworn that my body was telling me that, if we get out alive, it would kill me.
As I got off the roller-coaster, I was woozy. My friend said, “points for not vomiting.” I gave him a look that could kill, but I was still proud of what I did. I went on my first roller-coaster and I survived.
http://us8.memecdn.com/A-great-example-of-Procrastination_c_110756.jpg

The fifty foot drop in front of me gave me the most emotionally bipolar feelings ever. “You can do this.” “WTF are you thinking” “This is so dope” “NO!!!” All these thoughts bounced around my head until all I can do is watch myself get a head start and fly through the air. I spent so long in the air. Contemplated life. All you can do is fall. It seems like such a small thing in the moment because most of the work is done for you. Gravity pulls you down with all its force just so you hit the water with enough force as to join you biologically. It makes you feel like you kind of just went on some poor man’s spirit walk where you change your name from Snoop Dog to Snoop Lion. You can’t help but take that huge gasp for air as you fight your way past the water’s surface. There’s nothing to it. All fear is irrational. That’s what it taught me. If you do your best to fight the urges to make problems that don’t exist nature just kind of does the rest for you. There are no problems. Just obstacles that give you the opportunity to grow and mature. The other so called problems just end up being solutions. Terminal illnesses turn into reasons to appreciate and catastrophes end up becoming wake up calls to show you you obviously didn’t live life to its fullest. I miss that feeling that I had coming out of the water. I felt enlightened. I think I’ll go back to California and jump the 50 foot cliff again. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be certain of things. I want that again.