Freshman Monologue Tanima Sen
Planets and stars came to life on the otherwise dull white wooden surface. Anything blank around the house served as a canvas for expressing my creativity. One thing about me is that I need to let things out. I can’t bottle up emotions for too long. If I let them simmer inside me, one of two things may happen. One- I may let the emotions consume the rest of my thoughts, much like spilling paint all over them. This affects my initial viewpoints. Two- My thoughts escape me. I would much rather let everything take over than let it all go. My biggest fear in life is forgetting all the things that have shaped me into who I am today. Of course, I am not fully molded by any means. I think of it this way: when we are born, we are an empty white canvas. We have the necessary tools, in this case the paint and brushes. We spend our entire lives decorating and marking up the canvas, even changing countless details as we go on.
Trying to imagine my masterpiece right now, I can envision a few snippets. I see my struggle to fit in and interact with students as a newcomer inAmerica. I had to pick up the language, traditions and customs quickly. With this I also see a highlight, my ability to adapt to my surroundings rapidly. I see Ms. Mitchell, the aggressive middle school teacher, speaking in her heavy Jamaican accent, her voice entering my ears like a million boulders rolling down a hill. Unlike my previous easy breezy teachers, she woman was harsh, blunt and simply made me uncomfortable; however, I thank this woman for forcing me to grow up because she served as a reality check.
Always having been quite intuitive, I tend to have a sixth sense with everything I encounter. I see myself being as perceptive and insightful always, taking in my environment and letting it sink in, being open minded, considering many perspectives before making a judgment. My notes consist of sketches and diagrams; my room is filled with quotes and pictures that inspire me. I see a visual person whose mind works in an abstract way. A fear of mine is that I will fail to stand on my own feet. I see someone who covets for her independence. More than anything, I see a secular young woman who is more than ready to start her journey into the world outside of aNew York Citypublic high school and pursue the interests that she is passionate about. Ultimately I want to tie together business, marketing and psychology into a profession and call it my own.
In truth, it is when we die that we will have really finished the piece. Only then does the painting that we have remain permanent and complete. I know my originally blank white slate will have turned into a colorful frame with rich colors, meaningful icons and symbols. There will be mistakes and realizations and countless other happenings which will help color my canvas.