It was the first week of kindergarden. I was sitting on the bus minding my own business when she walked by. Butterflies. Thats all I felt at the time. Not the regular type of butterflies one might get before a test or an interview−the type of butterflies that kill your appetite and cause you to freeze up. The type of butterflies that cause you too lose control. She gave me these butterflies on a daily basis. I had a crush on this girl since nursery. All I could do at the time was thank G-d that she walked by, hopefully finding another seat on the bus… and then she walked by again… and again. There were no more seats. Everything was moving so quickly. The next thing I knew the assistant bus councilor sat her near me. To talk or not to talk, that was the question. I opted on keeping it quite , playing it safe. Everything was going great. I was looking out the window and she was turned towards the aisle. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, completely out of the blue… I peed.
As much as I might try to erase this event from my mind, it wont go. It refuses to be deleted. I carry this burden upon my shoulders everywhere I go. When I think about it I can almost feel the butterflies rising up from my gut, taking over. This moment humbles me when I’m feeling too cocky, and always leaves me wondering, did she notice?
