That is “The Scream”, creatively painted by an expressionist artist named Edvard Munch. It pretty much depicts my emotions as a first semester freshman in Baruch College. The first day I stepped into the building, I felt agony, fear, annoyance, and just a tad bit of excitement.
It’s hard realizing that you’ve grown up, and it’s time to leave the nest and spread your wings to fly. College is about preparation, a mid-way segment that prepares you for adulthood. That means goodbye to (most of) your friends from high school, getting a job on the weekends to support the tuition, and your mother constantly telling you that it’s time to move out. It’s a harsh process… And I still don’t know if I’m ready to be like one of those mature working women reading newspapers on the train, contemplating on buying her own groceries and struggling to pay rent.
Notice the two people in the background, distant from the man screaming? Well, I think of them as the people in college (no offense to you all <3). Unlike high school, 5 days a week and 8 periods a day, including lunchtime. You don’t get to establish as many close bonds in college, despite being given a group that attends all your classes. I think of it this way, given the wide availability of different classes at different hours to choose from, it’s hard to make friends who will actually stay with you after the semester ends. Some classes have so many students that the professors wouldn’t even remember your name, and it takes your initiative to improve your own grade. Moreover, college seems like a cold smack of reality. It’s now about the money for Metrocards, buying your own food, and if you fail to pay for the classes, it’s an automatic drop from the system.
Sorry for having such pessimistic opinions, but I’m just not liking it so far. Perhaps I just need to be more involved in clubs or sports teams. I guess I’ll try that next semester…
P.S. This being the last post, and I know I won’t be seeing most of you guys next semester… I want to say thank you for everything. Inviting me to lunch after English (Siby, Ria, and everyone else), helping me with the Calculus homework and Sociology quiz (poor Matt), giving me insights on my papers (Gurwinder), and just great entertainment (Nick). 🙂
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