Im sitting next my koala named Joe. He’s purple and slightly anorexic compared to my other members of the atomic fluff army that I have created. It has taken a while but I think I’m comfortable with the generals andlieutenants Ive found. There’s general Scott, a very fat grey penguin and major Clyde, who is a giant yellow bunny peep.  I think that if the world was going to be taken over by giant fluffy overloards I actually wouldn’t mind. I have no idea why I love all things egg shaped and furry but I do know that they give great entertainment when bored. Being that I am an only child I often find myself enjoying things that someone with a sibling would not. Example, drawing faces on eggs. It’s not something that a normal person would do but then again, when the paint on the wall is done drying what is there left?

I mean, I could tell you my lifee story on how I grew up in the projects and had to work my way to college, but then again I’m pretty sure that’s something you’ve already heard before. So hear, let me tell you a story I had made up last night. So, there was a squrriel whose name I cant remember so I’ll call him Ralph. Ralph lived in a mystical land made up of ham and cheese. One day Ralph lost his nuts, and we all know how much squrriels love their nuts, and went on a long journey to a witches house with a pinata named pedro. But instead the witch turned Ralph and his faithful sidekick into a sesame seed bagel and a swiss roll. She promised Ralph that if he won in an epic battle to the death then he would get his nuts back. Ralph had to make the choice between his nuts and his friend, and decided to get fight for his nuts back.  Sadly Pedro defeated Ralph and was turned back into a pinata. Moral of the story: don’t loose your nuts or else a swiss roll will beat you.

I know that did not make sense but hey, life doesn’t make sense. It’s no fun to just sit down and take whatever is thrown at you. That’s something I learned throughout high school. My friends and I were always the teachers favroites not only because we basically lived at the school but because we were only ones not cursing them out. Sad but true, they learned to rely on us as if we were teachers in fact every thursday I helped teach an art class. Many of the younger kids considered me a loser becasue I would come in on saturdays to help paint classrooms instead of staying in sleeping. But I dont regret it at all, since it was something I enjoyed doing. Sometimes when everyone begins to turn their backs on you, you just have to pull down your pants, bend over and tell them to kiss it.

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life…”

And just like that the last day of high school came to a close. Everything that I had become accustomed to, everything that I had trusted and relied on for the past four years was finally gone. I went around saying our goodbyes to all of our teachers and coaches and wished good luck to the underclassmen in their remaining years all the while tears streamed down the faces of most of the graduating students, which included me. This was it. I was not going to return to the high school as a student ever again.

We are all leaving behind the familiar and about to dive into the unknown that is college and really the rest of our lives. We were about to go into the world on our own for the first time. Mom and dad were no longer going to be holding my hands and guiding me through the journey. It is my turn to make my own decisions. I have to start learning how to take care of myself and how to solve my own problems. These are all things that seemed and sometimes do still seem scary to most, if not all, new college students.

But the biggest concern had to be starting over and trying to make friends again. Most of my friends I have known since I moved in the 4^th grade. We always did everything together and always had each other’s backs. We traveled in packs and where you found one of us you would always find at least a few more. It was going to be a strange transition for all of us. No more than two of us were going to the same colleges and some were going far enough that we wouldn’t be able to see them until winter break. It is safe to say that our last day together was a hard one.

For one last time, before we all started going our separate ways, we met up at one of our houses. We reminisced on the past couple of years. We played games and told stories. It was a perfect ending to this journey that we had all taken together. We said our last goodbyes to each other and then we all went our separate ways.

And now here we are. All of us are now in college. We are each having our own unique experiences, making new friends, learning new things each and every day. We have all worked hard to get to where we are and are now working even harder to get to where we want to go. It is now our time to start reaching towards the future that we desire and make it happen.

I hate bills. You see, I have a bad habit of acting on impulse when I buy things. Probably my biggest example of this would somehow managing to take out a $17000 loan on my car. Basically I put myself in debt for the next 6 years but oh well. It’s become a love of mine to work on my car myself and pour more and more money into it. People tell me constantly that I’m stupid for giving myself that kind of responsibility but they have no idea,  I love my car.

I realize a lot of you reading this don’t drive because your either from the city or have no use for a car. Me, being from Long Island, it’s my only way around. I gave myself a huge responsibility because I fell in love with a car on the lot and bought it on the spot. I’ve thought about selling it once I realized, damn, that’s a shitload of money. I’m sticking with it though, she’s starting to grow on me.

It’s fun for me to work on my car and buy new parts for it. It’s a labor of love,really. If I screw up while working on it…well..I could die(technically speaking). So, it’s important to get it right. Every little thing. I have friends and friends of friends that help me if I get stuck considering knowing how to take apart an engine isn’t something everyone knows.

I don’t think it’s weird that I love my car, it’s something that’s actually mine. Countless cuts and bruises can testify to the fact I know my car inside and out for the most part. It’s not easy, but the rewards and worth it.

http://tinypic.com/r/wmnort/6 (for some reason tinypic doesn’t want to work)

I am currently sitting on a train as I am writing this monologue.  It is 5:00 p.m. and I can not wait to go home to have some rest.  It had been a long day today since I woke up a hour earlier just to prepare for my speech for my communication class.  It had been five days since I memorized the speech, so now I am not quite familiar with it and needs to spend more time to get it memorized.  While I was busy memorizing the speech, the professor suddenly emailed us that class was cancelled.  I was really surprised when I heard it.  On one hand, I was happy that I do not need to do the speech today, but, on the other hand, I really do not want to prepare for it again tomorrow.

What I am happy about today was that I finally got back my math test.  I was worrying all week because math is not my best subject.  I got a B, which I was already really glad and satisfied because I thought it would have been much worst.  If I had failed my first math exam, I would have tears running down my face.

There are still three more stops till my destination point.  As I am writing now, I am starting to feel hungry.  This is when I realized that I have not eaten lunch yet and it had been nine hours since I ate my breakfast, which was just a biscuit and a glass of orange juice.  I am so tired and hungry that the only thing I can think of right now is what am I going to eat when I get off of the train.

It is finally the last paragraph of my monologue and I have one more stop on the train.  But, I know this would not be the last thing I will do today because I still have the law midterm to study for.  I guess I will be staying up late today like around one or two in the morning to prepare for the exam.  Now, it is time for me to get off of the train and the first thing I am going to do is to have my lunch.

So we have to write this thing called “monologue” for our FRO class. It’s due tomorrow and i still don’t know what to write. By the way, i would have forgotten to do this assignment if i wasnt reminded by my fellow classmate, George. Okay, i still dont know what to write. Oh, i have an idea. Why don’t i talk about who i am and what i did today.

I am Brian. I am 18 years old. i am a student. i go to baruch college. i am majoring accounting. My favorite class is FRO because it’s not really a class and we dont get to do as much work as in other classes. I kind of like doing math stuffs, thats why i chose the accounting major. I like playing handball. I play during my free time. My favorite colors are black, blue, and pink. So this is some basic information of who i am. I hope this would fill up a paragraph. well, i guess not, so i have to drag on a bit more. I love listening to music. I honestly cant survive without it. I listen to it all the time. I listen to it on the train, at home doing homework, and even taking shower. I get minor headaches if i dont listen to my music on the train, i dont know why. Moving on.

So today, i woke up at 8. I ate breakfast and packed up and everything. i left my house at like 8:45. It usuallytakes me 50 minutes for me to get to school. I got there at about 10. So i have an hour to kill. I decided to study for my law midterm, which i should be studying right now instead of doing this. But anyway, as i was studying, Amrit came. I said hi to her, hoping she could tutor me at law because i dont know anyhting because i have been slacking off in that class. George has a such bad influence. So i asked Amrit to help me, then disappointedly, she replied she doesnt know anything either. Then i gave up on studying and went to sleep till class started.

In class, we got an email saying our communication has canceled the class. i got so happy because that means we have another two hours break. So then, its lunch time. We went to the student cafeteria for lunch. I got sushi. I have been eating the sushi in the student cafeteria for the past month. It gets boring but other things are too unhealthy. After we ate, we went to study for the law midterm. Everyone is stressing over it. Now i am regretting how i didnt pay attention in class.

And this is ittt.

Here I am trying to finish this monologue as fast as possibles where if I had done this over the weekend, I would have no problem. That has to be one of my worst weaknesses, procrastination. I vow to myself to usually finish things early but always somehow end up doing it at last minute. Time seems too valuable to waste on such boring matters. But yet when it is your responsibility, it has to be done. Anyways, I am here doing this monologue  the day before it is due and I am in quite of a jam.

I not only have this monologue to complete but I also must complete several grammar worksheets for English and study for my Business law midterm. I am in a pretty bad situation now due to my laziness. Speaking of lazy, business law and English are probably the classes I get most lazy. All these books, essays, Friday questions and you cannot forget those worksheets for English. Such a pain in my ass and now I got a midterm to worry about in a class where I practically don’t understand half the terms used and fear that I have a chance of failing.

It is all good though. I been dealing with school work like this for most of my life. I have been grown accustomed to procrastinating. Been doing homework and studying on my commute to school whether it was the bus or the train or just plain walking. A truly bad habit I should break but hard to resist with all the things people can be doing in that time. I could be chillin with friends. Maybe grabbing a bite to eat or even just goin out for a regular walk.

Can’t lie though I never have more fun then when I am either with friends or i am playing some kind of sport whether it is football, baseball, or basketball(my favorite btw). I love just being active and moving my body which is funny because I said I was lazy. However, whenever it comes for any form of competition, i get excited at the thrill of beating somebody. Don’t get me wrong, I do lose but everyone knows how great it feels to win and talk some trash while you can. Losing can also help you learn from your mistakes.

Wow, finally almost done, and I can finish off by saying that it has been a very fast semester and a great one as well. Love my classmates and my classes and professors even if they do have some things I feel they can work on. Baruch is pretty great and really never gets too boring , in fact, based on one semester, I feel that Baruch will only be more fun. Heck you never know, you might see me on one of the teams in the future hopefully.

Today is another brand new day, another day to eat great food. Food is such a good thing and it’s great that we get to eat it three times a day. Eating food is good for you. Everyday after I eat breakfast I get on the train to Baruch college. On the train I see many people drinking coffee or tea in the morning looking all haggard, like they already had the worse day when it hasn’t even start yet. Then there’s some people carrying breakfast in paper bag. I wonder what kinds of food are in there. Some getting MacDonald for breakfast, not a great choice in my opinion, have to eat healthy to stay alive these days. As I get off the 6 train I walk pass a Halal food stand and many bagel stand to the  VC building. So class begins, the usual boring stuff. At least today I don’t have to listen to  the library teacher trying to have a discussion with us.

Well, we watch the documentary film about Monsanto. Sit there until class is finally over. Then we’re suppose to have communication class today but it got canceled. Now have so much time to kill and it was just so sad that I didn’t bring my laptop today. So there’s really nothing to do besides to kill time. Oh almost forgot the most important part. Lunch came before going to the library. Too bad today I only went to the cafeteria. It would’ve been better to try out some new places or just go there. Well at least I saw food that I didn’t know they had in the cafeteria. Still it would’ve been better if there’s new food. The really good thing about Baruch is there’s two, dollar pizza place. That’s just the best, you can get pizza whenever you want and its only a dollar. I wish they had dollar pizza at Main Street.

The real disappointment is there’s only Coco bubble tea near Baruch. Not that it’s bad, it’s just not that great. First when I tried it, it was okay, but after I finished half a cup it was too sweet. I wish they had more bubble tea shop near Baruch.  So now I ran out of stuff to say,  so I need to make my brain think on what can I write. I still need like another paragraph and I am not even done with this one yet. So now I am just pausing in my thoughts with nothing on my mind. Well maybe expect the law test for tomorrow.

How am I going to study for it. I feel so lazy right now, like I don’t want to study for the law test. I just want to watch drama right now, its getting to a really interesting part. If I don’t watch it now then I can’t concentrate when I am studying for law, but if I watch it I won’t have enough time to study for law. I don’t want to stay up really late to study, its just too much work. Wow just now I previewed my post and the paragraph are getting shorter and shorter. Why did people in my class have to write so much, now I have to write about the same or it’ll look bad. Now I just need to find a random picture then I am done.

Waiting for the E train is pretty annoying. Well, not really. I just hope I can sit rather than stand in the train for 20 minutes. But then, everyone around me is waiting for the train as well. So what are the chances of me getting a seat? Well, the train’s finally here. Everyone’s shoving and pushing each other to get in. It’s pretty crowded and I didn’t get a seat. So I guess I’ll be standing for a while.

There’s barely any space at all. There‘s a really tall man standing in front of me. It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable. So where should I look? Should I look upat the ceiling, should I down and stare at my phone, or should I look sideways? It’s always difficult to know where to look. So, I just glance around before turning up my music in my phone.

There are so many different people on the train. Everyone has a different destination. Some are going to school, like me, others are going to work. Did you ever notice how diverse the train is? Well, that’s New York for you. You’ll find so many different people. That’s why I liked the Humans of New York page on Facebook. “It’s the photographic census of NYC. One street portrait at a time.” Here, in NYC, you’ll find all different kinds of people. Some you might adore, some you might be scarred for life after meeting.

So, I finally get a seat since so many people got off at Jackson Heights/ Roosevelt Ave. Why is it that so many people get off here? Probably, because Jackson Heights has a large surrounding shopping district. Anyways, I’m listening to my music, minding my own business, when an old man comes into the train. He walks around asking for money for food. It’s really sad to see these people on a daily basis. I reach into my wallet and take out some spare change and give it to him. He smiles at me and says, “Thank you. I hope you have a great day.” Well, that definitely brought a smile to my face. You know that feeling you get when someone appreciates you doing something for them? Yea, I get that a lot. It’s a nice feeling, a good way to start my day.

My stop’s finally here.  Lexington Ave/53^rd Street. Everyone’s rushing to get out. I’m squeezing my way through all the people. This stop is kind of a big one. But it’s kind of dark and pretty dirty. I mean, would it kill them to put clean it up a little? I think I even saw a rat here once. Well, going up the escalator, I wait a while. It’s pretty high up. I turn around and see how high I am. It’s kind of scary for me because I’m afraid of heights. I always have a weird feeling that I’m going to fall. It’s strange. Anyways, I finally make it to 51^st street where I catch the 6 train. I quickly slip into the train as the doors close. Well, here we go again. A new train comes with new people. Let’s see what happens on this ride.

It’ currently approximately 1:24AM, and I’m sitting in the living-room because i’m too lazy to get up from the couch. Trying to get this monologue finish. I’m tired, but i strangely don’t feel sleepy, but i do feel hungry. Which sucks because then i’ll have to get up to go to the kitchen, that just seems miles away. I don’t know what exactly i’m suppose to think, but i’ll just write the first things that come to mind. First off i really hate those assignments where people tell you, “Write/Talk about anything you want”. When people say that, my mind goes completely blank! And I’m just like, “What should i write/talk about!?!?!”

My mind is completely consumed with the Law midterm coming up tomorrow, the ONE that i’m totally not ready for! When there is a test around the corner i’m just like “i should have paid attention!”, but when there isn’t, “i’ll pay attention next time”. Hmmm…Freshmen year so far… i’ll give it a thumbs up. I am very happy to meet each and every person that i have since entering Baruch. Although, it’s only been 2 months, it feels like i have known everyone for 2 year (i mean it in a good way) – i feel lucky to be in LC07.

I’m told to write more then three paragraphs but nothing is coming to mind, sighhh…why does this seem so hard? Alright i just wrote my English blog, so this can’t be that hard. These blog things are so annoying. I understand that it’s ‘suppose’ to benefit us in someway, but doing them is such a bother. This semester is going by really fast. I mean there is only six more weeks left! i still feel as if it’s the second week of school, except i got my midterms as a reminder that it’s not.

I could already predict my next four years. I’ll probably be doing what i’m doing right now. Procrastinating and stay up nights to get work done. I actually pulled my first school-work related all-nighter the other week, because i had to get my English essay done. Lets just say, stay up all night would not have been necessary if i had started my essay earlier. Procrastination is such a bad habit – one that i want get rid of, but we all know it’s not going anywhere.

Well this is my fifth paragraph two more then three, which means i’m DONE! yaayy finally. Haha i realized my paragraphs are getting smaller. Felt like forever writing this. On that note it’s 1:55AM, wow took quite a while to get this done huh? Enough of my blabber, time to get some food because i’m hungry now…CIAO!

when my brothers were 13 and 10 years old, i was born. that being said, i was raised not only by my parents, but my two older brothers as well. growing up, i was faced with many situations other kids my age wouldn’t face for at least another 5+ years. i was exposed to things a decade in advanced. today my life is enriched with experience and other information that helps me survive in the real world, all thanks to my parents going through some tough financial problems as well as their deep wishes of having a daughter. this is why my name is ben. ben in hebrew means son, so when my parents had yet another one, it seemed like the most appropriate name to give me.

i was born in the same house i lived in until i was 8 years old, in long island, new york on 109 hampshire road. when i moved from that amazing home of mine, i was devastated. it wasn’t only because of the fact that we had to move due to the lack of people to fill the 5 bedroom house with a nice amount of property. no it was everything else that happened around the same time. that same year my best friend went through some unbelievable things i am still not comfortable talking about to this day. things that led to his disappearance from school for a month, living with my family for two weeks, and his moving around from canada to connecticut to new york and eventually to hong kong. i haven’t seen him since. also in that same year, my grandmother passed away just before my bar mitzvah. i had to have a small ceremony by her hospital bed in israel two months prior. i know this may all sound sad and many have told me that these things would have scared them in unimaginable ways; but these are the scars that make me who i am today. i wish none of the things that happened to my friend ever occured. but if they hadn’t, we both wouldn’t have become the people we are now or the people we are going to be.

today i am writing this monolog with trembling hands as i am truly opening up my heart and spilling the beans, so to speak about my life and my history leading up to the present. many things in my life are not perfect. but i work damn hard for them to come as close as possible. to tell you a little bit about my life now, id like to start off about my family, because they are the ones who have direct influence on me and my life. my 28 year old brother, Adi, and my 57 year old father, Yosef or Yosi, run a construction company called KBR (Kitchen &Bathroom Remodeling). my 54 year old mother, Carmela, likes to help out in thier office / showroom just a few blocks form Baruch on 28th and 5th ave. my eldest brother, Roee, who will be 31 later this month, owns a night club called pink elephant (on the corner of 8th street and Macdougal street)and is working his ass off to open another nightclub right accross the street from lavo, next door to tao on 58th street as well as a sushi strip club on the upper west side. he recently put me in charge of opening a “hole in the wall” sandwich shop i will be calling baguette bar. i dont know much about the food industry but ill tell you one thing for sure, i wont be using GMO’s. seriously bobbie polard would probably kill me by strapping me down and forcing me to drink her green shakes… gotta love business research.

when i first came into Baruch i was nervous to see what my life would become and how my daily schedule would change. when it did change, i found myself losing the morals i grew up on and held onto so dearly. it took a really close friend of mine whom i grew up with all my life to tell me i was fucked if i didn’t get back to my old ways of seeing life. my old way of seeing life was the best. i saw the little things in life as the best things in life. like when you flip over the pillow to the cold side. or when you and a friend say the same thing at the same time and get super excited, or when your footsteps match up when you walk net to someone and many more. i still don’t feel as though i am fully back on track but i will do my best to see my way through to end up where i belong. hopefully sooner than later.

hopefully the stress of school work and the work i put into starting my own sandwich shop wont become too overwhelming again and throw me back into a downward spiral. so heres to staying on  top of our game, on top of our work and on top of the world. cheers.