I have a pretty bad memory, so I can’t detail each moment of childhood, especially not the really great moments unfortunately. But these songs represent pieces of my life that were so perfect or influential that when I look back on them it almost feels like I’m reliving that page of my life. These songs aren’t just memories, they’re more like lenses that flash in and out—even though they represent the past to me, they shape the way I see things every day. It’s weird thinking about it now and saying it aloud, but each of these songs made me who I am.
1. I Miss You – Blink-182
“Take Off Your Pants and Jacket” by Blink-182 and “All the Right Reasons” by Nickelback were the first two albums that I took out from the library and burned onto my computer. It’s one of my most ridiculously vivid memories. I couldn’t wait to get home and listen to them. In particular, I played “Take Off Your Pants And Jacket” on loop for hours. The album was the most spectacular thing I had ever heard—it was loud and rebellious, and it made me feel alive. That was one of the best days of my life because it was the first time I felt like I was being myself. I didn’t pick out the CD for anyone but me; it wasn’t the kind of music my friends or my family listened to. In fact, for weeks I drove my family crazy playing that album at all hours of the day, and my mother would go on about how unhealthy “that kind of music” was. I couldn’t care less. I listened until I knew all the words and I begged my parents for a bass so I could be like Mark Hoppus. A lot of things have changed since that day I got home from the library, but even now Blink-182 is my favorite band and their songs still carry a lot of meaning and emotion for me. “I Miss You” is actually off of another album by Blink-182, but it’s my favorite song by them.
2. Someone That You’re With – Nickelback
People STILL give me grief for being a Nickelback fan. I’ll be honest, it probably is more a matter of taste, but I just can’t see how anyone who loves rock could hate Nickelback. I heard a radio reporter once say that the general opinion of Nickelback is ‘hick, trashy and just all around bad.’ In a weird way, I think that’s my favorite part. I mean, I obviously don’t think they’re bad, but I think what other people perceive as hick and trashy is just honesty. A couple of guys singing and writing about things they really want to say and feel every day—things they’ve experienced in real life. I do like their music and style, but more than that, I love that their lyrics are just the honest, unedited truth. That raw, uncut style would really influence the way my own songs would be when I started writing, and in general the way I thought people should speak to each other. I have a way of saying what I want to without focusing too much on what people will think. This can obviously be a flaw, but for the most part it keeps me honest with others and myself.
3. Claire de Lune – Claude Debussy
Before I knew anything about anything, I did know that music did something for me. Something about music made me feel like myself, made me feel good. But as a third grader with limited independence and no cable TV, I didn’t know how to find music. So I used to download free samples on Microsoft Music Player, and before that, I listened to the free music that came with the Player. It was mostly some funky, Indie songs, but it also included a little classical music. I guess that was my first real introduction to classical music and why I appreciate it so much. There aren’t really words to describe Claire de Lune—or rather, there are but the list would never end. I think I define all pure music against this one song (by pure I mean strictly instrumental or classical). It requires a combination of skill in dynamic and deep passion. If it’s played any other way, it’s simply wrong. When I would spend long hours recording without getting anything right, I would listen to this song to calm down. It reminds me not to try so hard, not just with music, but with anything. If you can’t do something with the passion it requires, you shouldn’t be doing it at all.
4. Part of Your World
“The Little Mermaid” IS my favorite Disney movie of all time, but that’s actually not why this song is on this playlist. Growing up as a tall girl wasn’t exactly easy. I think people always assumed that being able to loom over everyone else automatically made me stronger or less affected by what people say because I could always “beat them up” if I wanted. But I was just a kid like everyone else, and being isolated based on my appearance took a serious toll on my confidence. I always identified with this song because all I wanted to do more than anything was fit in and be normal like everyone else, which in my case, was about as possible as a fish growing legs.
5. True Colors – Cyndi Lauper
I once said those exact words to my father: “I just want to be normal.” He busted out laughing and cackled at me, “You’re a tall, black girl! You’ll NEVER be normal, sweetie.” And then he continued to laugh to himself… The point of the story is that it took me a long time to love being tall and be myself no matter how uncomfortable people tried to make feel about it. I love, love, LOVE this song because it’s all about seeing someone for who they really are. If you’ve never really felt that level of insecure before, it’s so easy to label people, but everyone has true colors that you have to look beneath the surface for. As a kid, it was my best friend who actually started a lot of the jokes about me. She actually made up a song called “skyscraper” with one of the kids that bullied me, and they would sing that song every time I walked into a room. But I believe in true colors, so she’s still my best friend. I’m not just talking about myself, I’m talking about what I define as beautiful—something more than how you look and how you act.
6. Mona Lisa – Nat King Cole
On really long road trips, my mom used to torture my siblings and I with the “Lifetime of Romance” collector’s edition. It’s basically a compilation of oldies from about the 1920s-1970s. My mother and grandmother eventually inflicted me with a ruthless love for really old music, which no one within a 5-year span of my generation could identify with. This was always my favorite song. It reminds me of my grandma, who was my only true best friend growing up. She had a smile that kind of always looked that to me, and I just admired her in general.
7. Blitzkrieg Bop – The Ramones
What is there really to say? I watched “Rock ‘N’ Roll High School,” bought the CD at Walmart for $9.99, and started dancing this to song in socially unacceptable places. I don’t know if it needs more explanation than that.
8. Heard ‘Em Say – Kanye West ft. Adam Levine
This song just reminds me of my Grandma and the kind of advice she would give me, and most importantly, the way she lived her life. When hear this, I remember who I want to be and how I want to be remembered.
9. When the Day Met the Night – Panic At the Disco
These lyrics are poetry, and I think that makes the song mean so much more—because you have to think about it. And when you do think about it’s just beautiful. The Sun meets the Moon and the entire world is golden. That’s you, that’s life—a combination of good times and bad times, cloudy and sunny, which leaves behind a little golden treasure. I just think it’s a beautiful concept.
10. Waltz from Swan Lake – Ferdinand Lang & Berlin Symphonic Orchestra
I didn’t read the playbill. If you’re ever going to a show you’ve never seen before, I recommend not reading the playbill. I had no idea what was going to happen when I saw Swan Lake. I just sat down and watched, and so the music, the movement, the beauty, the passion—it all just consumed me. I was literally shocked into a state of all emotion. It was easily the best night of my life.
