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http://www.kappit.com/img/133312/current-financial-status/

The above meme describes how my daily life is at Baruch. Going to the city for school has its pros and cons. But one thing that is both a pro and a con, is the food surrounding me. Every block has a variety of options. This easy access to food, hurts me financially, but makes me feel happy. The prices in the city are expensive, but I cannot resist the temptation. Hanging out with my friends during the breaks and after school, doesn’t help me avoid the delicious food.. I end up falling into the peer pressure and eat whatever good food is around. Sadly, all this good eating hurts the bank account. I’ve spent so much money on food, and it is probably the hardest thing to cut back on spending. I could always bring food from home, but that’s too much work. When I get home, all I want to do is my homework and sleep, anything extra is too much for me to handle. I even tried to see how long I could eat the dollar pizzas across the street. I didn’t last very long. The pizza is pretty good, but eating it so much is disgusting. When I saw this picture I felt that it described the food situation at Baruch perfectly. It said that I was spending too much on outside food, and so I had to bring food from home, to compensate for the loss. But this sadly didn’t last long, because I’m still spending a lot of money on all this food. It hurts the wallet, but for now I can’t help it. I’ll still be eating out, but complaining about spending all the money. I guess it’s a way to attempt and make myself feel better, even though I know I won’t be doing anything to fix the cost of eating out.

http://funnyasduck.net/post/category/memes/page/11

In the past, I was forced to take naps through out the day. It was a time in which I had to calm down from running and fooling around so much. I would always want to continue playing instead of sleeping. I would resist and give my parents, or whoever was in charge a difficult time. Walking into college made me realize that I took naptime for granted. I do not even have time for myself throughout the week. The commute itself is very long. I take 5 hours of my day to go to school and come back home. This makes my day feel very long and it is very exhausting. After coming back from school, I would like to treat myself to a quick nap, however I am usually overwhelmed with homework that professors assigned the class. Whether it be answering math questions, studying for a exam coming up, or reading 80 pages of articles for English class, it all takes an ample amount of time to accomplish and there is usually no time for me to take naps. There are some days that I am lucky. I am not assigned that much work, and these are the days that feeling heaven. I treat myself to a nice nap, which makes me feel so much better and relaxed. Days like these are the best.

http://blog.slugbooks.com/tagged/comics/page/9

When you go to college, people tell you all kind of things to expect.

College textbooks cost a fortune and you never use them. They do cost a fortune and it’s mostly true that you never use them. At first I started out using all my textbooks, annotating and doing problems in each one. In high school, homework generally took thirty minutes for a class. In college it takes at least an hour to just read for the next class. I was pretty stressed out because it took a lot of time to do. Now, I barely read any of my textbooks. Each class is different and in some classes it is the textbook that teaches you the material and in most others you never need to use it.

You are going to make so many friends. Everyone’s having a new experience together and you’ll meet plenty of new friends. Easier said than done. As a commuter, it’s actually pretty hard to make friends in college. In class most people are either paying attention, doing something else, or texting someone they know already. There are not many opportunities in class to actually make friends unless you have every class with someone. It seems like clubs are the way to go. I’ve not joined any yet, but I think for next semester I really need to if I want to have a more fulfilling college experience.

College is harder than high school. This is another one that is kind of true. I didn’t think it would be different going in but it is. What I’ve found is college is different than high school in that it requires a lot more time management. Although the work isn’t necessarily harder, there’s a lot more of it due in a shorter period of time. It’s a real adjustment. I also do not like hybrid classes because although open book is great, it’s a lot more work on the weekends than I want.

In my time so far at Baruch, I’ve made my own conclusions on college so far. Some of them are good and some so-so but none too bad. The first semester has been a big change for me and I feel like next semester it will be smoother. I love the area Baruch is in and I’m getting very used to commuting. I’m beginning to understand how things work in college and what to expect for the future.

Link: http://collegemedia.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/screen-shot-2013-03-15-at-12-59-02-am.png

These past few months at Baruch has been very interesting experience. Since I am use to a smaller school setting, being stuck in a elevator with nearly 20-25 other people feels like I am suffocating. I was never a very talkative person, so I am usually by myself during breaks in my schedule. It is very sad that I can’t talk with other people. Whenever I do actually talk with someone, I can’t find anything good to talk about. In the end, I am left wondering how I can keep the conversation going. I never tried the school lunch before, and I probably won’t even attempt to try it during my next couple of years here. Lunch at school should not be more expensive than buying food outside. Since there are no more free metro-cards, buying a metro-card every week to a month is becoming more problematic. The commute to school is very tiring. I never really took trains before, so suddenly taking the train everyday becomes very draining. But, I expected all of this happening the moment I decided to go to Baruch. So, none of these things are surprising.

But, there are some good things about Baruch. I can get up much later than I did during High School. It is a blessing waking up in the morning with the clock saying 7:00 instead of 5:50. I can go to sleep later as well. Although, I don’t know if other people think of this as a good thing. The gaps in my schedule allows me to relax a bit before I have to go to my next class. Speaking of classes, I am able to decided my own schedule for the next semester. Sure, I do have to go to school every day, but it is better than staying at school until 7-9 pm or going on Saturdays. Baruch also has a wide variety of clubs, so I can choose which clubs to join. So, coming to Baruch isn’t all that bad, I guess.

The major thing is the academics in this school. Now, I know why people say Baruch is very hard on a person’s grade. I never had 3 research papers due before Thanksgiving. Two of these papers are from classes that gives me no motivation in completing the work. Baruch also expects you to get a internship during your breaks in between the semesters. I don’t know why, but I am not planning on working during this year, especially during my breaks. I know this is a business school and they want us to have a successful after college life, but that is a little to much for a starting freshman.

Someone said to me that “College is the bridge into the real world.” I think I am starting to understand what they are trying to tell me. There is one thing for certain that I learned during my time at Baruch. Being motivated = having a decent college life. I hope I gain some sort of motivation before I graduate.

I don’t know what to say about my first three months here at Baruch since they will be my last three months at Baruch. Baruch has been quite an experience, but I am ready to move on to a much happier experience at my new school.

I came in thinking Baruch would be an okay experience for me. I thought that, hopefully, it would not be like high school all over again. Maybe because I was raised in the city, I just feel like Baruch is neither what I need nor want. That is not to say that I have not had some good experiences here. If anything it brought a period of heightened responsibilities, appreciation of my relationships, pretty good classes and a better understanding of whom I am as a student.

At home, I became the primary caretaker. I cook dinner, clean the house and make sure everyone (literally everyone—I live with 6 family members including my grandma) is doing well. It’s a lot of responsibility brought on because everyone thought that since I am older, I should have it. But it’s not what I want. I can’t help but think about everything I’m missing out on by not only not having these responsibilities, but also being away from home.

At school, I was able to make one new friend. He’s cool. But also being here made my friendship with Charlotte a lot stronger. We were cordial throughout high school and we have known each other pretty well for the 2 years or so. But being together all the time, really made me appreciate her a lot more. We do everything together. And we have very similar personalities, where we both get annoyed quickly. But we have been able to happily coexist these last three months and will be spending the whole summer together. While I will definitely miss her, I know we have built a strong enough bond that won’t deteriorate even when I’m away.

Academically, Baruch has been challenging enough. And I love my English professor. He has made my worst subject, my favorite subject. He made such a usually boring class, a fun class that I have no problem going to. His class makes me really want to put in extra effort into being a solid student and really putting my all into my work. I have taken the values I have learned in his class and incorporated them into my other classes, even math.

All in all, Baruch has been something I will probably not forget anytime soon. While I didn’t hate my time here, it was certainly not ideal nor did it make me feel happy. I feel as though I just need to escape being home, escape being in the city and escape being somewhat anti-social. This last month is really just emphasized with my constant waiting. I’m really excited about moving on and experiencing a new environment where I will hopefully be happier.

Link: http://38.media.tumblr.com/b07d1cba23d99fe4e3ba9bc8561906c8/tumblr_n2uro2OB0I1t32px0o10_250.gif

http://www.collegemediamatters.com/2012/05/04/college-memes-final-exams-edition-guest-starring-effie-trinket-the-rock-polar-bears-pawn-stars-guy/

Just to be noted sorry for the language. But the meme above is exactly what happens in certain classes. For example, in my math class my professor has a tendency to move through the material pretty quickly, so when a quiz or exam takes place I am typically confused as the recent material is fresher in my mind and it takes more effort to recollect what the older material was about. So far in my three months at Baruch have definitely been something, which was not what I expected out of college. As it really is High School on a different more higher level where I find my struggles from before to follow me. Such as procrastination but now things are different. As now I struggle to balance my Job, school, & my pleasures in life. Now I have no days off as I find myself either working or going to school. The consequences are my sleep is suffering. However the reality is now i’m 18 in college and must grow up and not make excuses but find the answers on my own. As I reflect time is so precious and I really must try to make better use of it, to get things done quicker so I can relax or do what I please. My first semester is something I probably won’t forget but I am looking forward to completing it and enjoying the break to come following it.

College is definitely different than high school. The first time I stepped into Baruch I felt like a new person. I was officially a college student, and now had a lot more weight to carry on my shoulders. I now had more responsibilities. It seemed (and still seems) like a lot of pressure, but it was something that I knew I would have to get used to. Back in High School everything seemed easier, my responsibilities were just to keep up with homework and study. But now I have to learn to manage my time efficiently so that I have time for school work and friends, keep up with payments, and keep track of credits. So far, school work and exams have been the two major stressors that I have had to deal with. This is so because I am still adjusting to the work load and pace of college life. Due dates are always closer than they seem, which is something I learned in these past few months. I’ve also learned that I should really avoid procrastinating, because my work doesn’t come out to be as good as it should be. So this is still something that I have to work on, as well as last minute studying. So far, my grades have been pretty average; therefore, efficiently dividing up my time would definitely help. As for my classes, for the most part they are manageable. I don’t have a favorite, more like one that I could sit through without daydreaming. And as for classmates or friends, I have made some new friends that I hope I will share some classes with next semester. Making new friends was one of the major goals I had while entering college and so I think I can say I was pretty successful with that. Joining a club was also one of my major goals, and although I did find a club that I am very interested in, unfortunately I have only been to one meeting. Again the problem with time management comes into play, because every Thursday I find myself catching up on homework during club hour. This club, however, has given me new insights as to what direction I want to go in when choosing my major. If I won’t be able to go to any more meetings this semester, I will definitely try to be an active member in the next semester. Overall, these three months have flown by very fast, and it’s almost hard to believe that my first semester at Baruch is almost over. I still have quite a bit of adjusting to do, but hopefully I will get a handle on college life and assimilate quickly.

Foreign Territory

New faces, new challenges, new rules to follow

Feeling lost and overwhelmed

Trapped in this building, waiting for someone to post bail

Wandering the halls for help, to no avail

Earphones plugged in, and blasting the Holy Grail

Pacing nervously and biting fingernails

Club members approach and offer bake sales

“No Thank you,” I replied. “I got my ginger-ale”

And seemingly friendly, we exchanged emails

Got shoved on the escalator and my face paled

Refused to give in, courage and patience above all must prevail

Held onto the handrail and turned around,

Greeted by friendly faces, all along, they were right behind my trail.

The hardest thing for me is to know what I want. I always have competing desires that pull in different directions, and Im often unsure what to pick. The choices we make, we make because of reasons. When faced with a decision, each decision has its pros ad its cons. Life would be much easier if the choice were always clear. But the reality is that choices are rarely clear. Not important ones anyways.

Every important step in life can be associated with a decision. Your friends are a choice. The college you attend and your educational path in general is a choice. Your career is a choice. Who you spend your life with is a choice. It goes without saying that your choices are important. A question arises: Do the choices you make determine your character and who you are as a person, or do you make your choices because if the person you already are? The first option means that you can change who you are, and the second means you are who you are. I’m terrified that the second option, the idea that we are who we are, and we make our decisions based on who we are, and that theres nothing you can do about that… that terrifies me.

The fear I have is that all the poor decisions Iv’e made, I’ve made because I’m the kind of person who makes those poor decisions. Maybe I’m so set in who I am, it’s so engrained into my being, that theres nothing I can do. In light of my poor decisions, that scares me.

A lot of the time, because I’m faced with desires pulling me in every direction, in opposite directions, theres a debilitating feeling I get. I’m paralyzed, and the decision is that much harder to make. But i have to make a decision. The fear is making a decision and missing out on whatever the other option had in store.

A lot of this to me sounds like anxiety when I write it out, as in the kind of anxiety that someone with an acute anxiety disorder will have. And thats actually a comfort to me. That means something can be done. However you deal with anxiety.

Sometimes I think I need to get out of the little world in my head. Sure, I want to be happy, and sure, I need to look out for myself, but maybe i should look at decisions as affecting the world outside of myself. I’m selfish. I know that. The decisions I make end up being what I think are going to make ME happy. I should start and more often consider what’s going to make the world around me better as well. Maybe that’s, ironically, what will make me happy.

Let me tell you a little something about New York and its trains. The other day, I was sitting on the D train going to Brooklyn to work. The train had already arrived to Brooklyn and stopped at the 62^nd St stop, when a middle aged Asian woman walked into the train car. The woman wore red and orange colored maxi skirt and a brown sweater on top. She had with her a cart filled with bags and newspapers. When the woman walked in, she turned everyone’s head by yelling and cursing at her phone. She seemed to be angry with someone who she spoke to earlier who seemed to have offended her in some way. And of course, this lovely lady sat next to me. She kept murmuring under her breath insults and her awe at what she seemed to have been accused off. If you think this is the only crazy thing you see on New York trains, then you are wrong. Another incident I had was when I was taking the train to class at eight o’clock in the morning. On the 36 Street stop, a young man entered the car. The train was packed with people going to work or school. Without care, the young man spit on the train floor, barely missing the shoes of a passenger. The poor lady who stood next to him was in shock and disgust. She tried to get further away from him not knowing when he may do it again. There are a lot of things you and I can learn from riding a New York train. You can experience the pushing and shoving. You can experience how the elderly run to an open seat, not caring who they knock over on the way. You really get the sense of the people that reside here. But please, don’t think it’s that bad. It has its intriguing moments, like the dancers. This of course mostly happens in the city, but we have groups of people who ride the trains and entertain us! Imagine that! Sadly they don’t do it out of a warm heart, rather for some mula, but its still fun to watch. You should definitely come and visit New York. Don’t forget to ride the train; it’s the best part! You can even hang off the poles like I did. But there is something that the trains may teach you, since it did for me. It taught me that there are many different people in this city and everyone act different. I learned that there are certain things that are not socially acceptable just by looking at the reactions on people’s faces. It let me understand that although there are flaws, I am part of a something that is extraordinary and living; that is New York City.