Baruch is crazy man, I’m over here having the best of times man. People always saying Joey high school was so easy I wish I could go back. I say back to them fuck that, high school sucked. high school, everything about it, the teachers, the hallways, the food and the girls, all of it sucked. I was talking to my councilor one day and I said bruh these cute girls man they keep leading me on they over here texting me everyday but I see them in person and shawty won’t even give me a hug. Right there he said the smartest thing I ever heard. He goes Joey high school is a lot like prison I said wait right there you can’t just blow past that like you didn’t even say it. How have you been to prison and they still let you influence children’s lives. then he goes let me tell you high school is a lot like prison the sex you getting is not the sex you want and the sex you want is not the sex you getting. I said councilor I’m sorry to hear about the sex you were getting in prison. But you know I eventually got a girlfriend she was both the sex I wanted and the sex I was getting so she fulfilled the girlfriend requirements. Because I ain’t too picky man ill eat anything that looks good if you know what I mean. She was good looking so I was hype id walk with her down the hallway and the guys would nod their heads in approval because ladies I don’t know if you know this but the guys definitely know this A girl friend has to fulfill 2 requirements. 1 she is supposed to make you happy which is obvious but 2 you have to show her off to your friends because that why we like good looking girls look I’m not even going to lie you can make me the happiest guy in the world but if you ugly I’m never going to marry you. Yeah yeah I’m the bad guy because I care about appearances I’m never going to take a teenage mutant ninja turtle sloth from the goonies left ear where her right eye is supposed to be looking girl to mom like mom this is my girlfriend her name is OOMF. No I want me a nice symmetrical girl hat I can parade down the street like look at her look I get to have sex with this can you believe it I cant, not you me I won you lost peace out hombre I’m a go get some head you can go beat off. AYNWAY I went off on a tangent she was good looking and so a lot of guys hit on her I didn’t care because she was still mine, you know whenever she would return my texts or stop avoiding me. So one day I figured she was cheating on me oh I was furious I was so angry and when I figured out this information was at a party with my friend and in the blind fury me and him ended up becoming intoxicated and so we thought of a way to get back at her for cheating on me. So we thought we had the best idea ever I decided to go on twitter and say I quote @asapswaggyQ I hope you enjoy my crabs that I gave to Jennifer you have them now take good care of them lol. In the heat of the moment I forgot what would happen to me I just thought it would be funny to tell someone they have my girl and I gave them something gross. I forgot that I didn’t really have crabs because that was the girl I lost my virginity to and she to me. But the moral of the story is dont go on twitter and tell someone they have your crabs because then you’ll be known as crab Dick around the school.
