I feel my mother’s tight grip on my hand and watch my father’s back as he is running down an enormous hall, pushing his way through the crowd. It has been such a long flight. Almost twelve hours of crowded seats, awful food and that dreadful lift off and landing when your ears get clogged. But now we are finally here. My heart sinks as I discover that this is no vacation; we’re here to stay. We get out of the airport only to find out that the streets are worse than the crowded airport. The pavement is covered in trash, the buildings are tall and grey and it so cold outside, in September! The people here are nothing like the people back home. Nobody smiles, everyone looks unhappy, and not one person has stopped to pinch my cheeks and tell me how cute I look. I am in New York City at the age of four, and I hate it here

Moving from Long Island to New York City was the biggest change I’ve ever had to face. The past 18 years I’ve lived with my parents and brother, so moving out to live with my roommate in a city we lived only 2 hours away, from but barley knew was scary. I was lucky enough to room with my best friend from high school, so it made the experience a little easier. I went from doing everything with my family to doing it on my own but with my best friend by my side. I finally realized what real responsibility felt like and I was living a whole new life. I felt a sense of freedom the day our families left us in our new home located on the Upper East Side. Overall living on my own has been a huge change, but an amazing one. Even though it’s only been a little over 2 months, I believed I’ve grown up and have become a new, independent person.

I have a hard time accepting my Chinese culture because of stereotypes. When people say all Asians are nerds, I feel annoyed, but at the same time, impartial. Most Asians would take pride in that comment by saying that we are naturally smart, but I believe our culture pushes us to strive and do the best we can in anything we do. Living my life in a city, with everyone being as judgmental as they are, has made the struggle to accept my heritage easy and hard. Being in a city means that there is diversity, and yet, there are still stereotypes that differentiate each race.
Walking down the street and having people yell, “Ching chong chang” or “Ni hao” as I walk by is ironic in my eyes. Due to family mishaps when I was younger, I do not know much Chinese; I understand very little and barely know how to reply in Chinese. As much as it shouldn’t bother me, it actually does, which makes me respond to them. Why should I have to live like that when I would never want to make anyone feel inferior because of their culture? No one expects a little Asian girl to talk back to them and stand up for herself. This shocks most of them to the point where they are speechless and walk away, but others may add another comment. I do not understand what people get out of making other people feel bad, much less someone you do not know. There are certain instances in which I will get into an argument with someone over a comment they make about any Asian, and then there are others who just make stupid assumptions and I am just left standing there, speechless. I’ve just learned to stand up for myself, and my culture, dealing with judgmental people along the way.
Most people have said to me that their comments are not meant to be offensive, but they will never know the effect of their words on a person. Everyone has their own opinions on different matters, so how are their comments any different? Learning from my own experiences, I have learned to try not to judge anyone by anything that would be discriminating. It’s hard because oddly enough, some people might fit into their stereotype, which is probably why they exist. But even so, I would never make anyone feel bad about their culture, race or beliefs. I have always tried to be the bigger person. This has also made me appreciate the friends that I do have, that accept me for all my flaws. As the years progressed, I realized that my culture is something I shouldn’t be ashamed of.

I feel like I am very hard on myself when it comes to my grades because it was engraved into my mind ever since I started school, and honestly this is pretty accurate…

1) Eminem- Cleanin Out My Closet

2)Decipher(Ft. Manifest)- Angry Asian Man

3)2Pac- Changes

4)David Bak(Ft. Manifest, Lyricks)- Compromise

5)Tech N9ne- E.B.A.H

6)2Pac- Ghetto Gospel

7)2Pac- Hail Mary

8)Tech N9ne- He’s A Mental Giant

9)Eminem, Dr Dre, 50Cent- Numb Encore Remix ( Ft. Jay Z , Linkin Park)

10)Eminem&Royce Da 5’9- Above The Law

These are the 10 songs that describes me. I like hip hop and rap. I like songs that are meaningful. I like to listen to songs that have good lyrics. I also like songs that have deep bass and good beats. Lol

I don’t think its possible to describe anyone in just 8 pictures, even though people say pictures are worth a thousands words. First off, I would like to say family is very important to me, but not just my biological family, my friends who I consider family. My parents are divorced, and as a result of that I barely know my father; I don’t even know what his real name is! But besides that, my mother and I are not close at all. Since I do not know Chinese, there is a huge language barrier between me and the rest of my family. The only person in my family that I am really close to would be my older brother, Tonny. He basically became the father figure in my life, even though he is only two years older than me. The picture of us on Halloween from over a decade ago just shows how close we were and still how close we are now. The other two pictures are of my boyfriend’s family . I started going out with him when I was 13, and since then, his family has treated me like one of their own. The memories that I have with his family are crazy, fun, but mostly just happy. The follo wing pictures are of my friends and I. Although I may know a lot of people, there are very few people I consider best friends, people I would entrust my life with. One has been with me since I was five years old; another since I was 10 and the other I’ve recently become very close to. I would do anything for these people in my life, and I know, for a fact, they would do the same for me. The next two pictures are of my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for about five and a half years now. As some of you may know, I currently live with him. Although we’re very different people, I could not have imagined my life without him; he has shaped who I am today. In one of the pictures of him, you’ll see a little b**** on his lap. That’s our dog, Nylah. We got her when I first moved in and I cannot imagine not seeing her everyday. I love animals, but the love I have for dogs is incomparable. She’s the nicest, sweetest and stupidest dog you’ll ever meet, but I love her regardless. The last picture in my slide show is of my best friend’s dog napping on my back while I am trying to relax after a long day. I feel like this picture says a lot about me. When I’m not stressing out about school or work, I like to just chill out and lay anywhere and everywhere! It’s kind of funny how her dog, Bentley, did the same. So that’s it, my life in 8 pictures.

The Man – Aloe Blacc

Am I wrong –

Applause – Lady Gaga

Daughters – Nas

New York state of mind – Billy Joel

I chose these songs because I really think that they describe me well. I am very confident and I love attention. I also believe in doing what I think I think is right even though it might not be pragmatic.  When I grow up I want to have a daughter and still want to live in the beautiful city of New York.

1.Alicia Keys-No One

2.Childish Gambino-Kids

3.Simple Minds-Don’t You Forget About Me

4.Kid Cudi-Memories

5.Selena-Bidi Bidi Bom Bom

6.Kanye West-Jesus Walks

7.Notorious B.I.G-Juicy

8. Coldplay- The Scientist

9. Run DMC-Walk This Way

10.Rhianna-We Found Love

The first song represent my passion for piano and love for Alicia Keys. As a child I used to look up to her, and she is the reason why I play piano today. The second is what shows my love for Childish Gambino. The third represents my love for the 80s music and it represents my favorite movie The Breakfast Club. The fourth, the 6th, 8th and the 10th just shows that I’m an open-minded person. I’m open to any music and any views. The 5th reflects my Latina side, at home I only speak Spanish and I love spanish music.

1. Sweatpants- Childish Gambino

2. We live- Superchick

3. Not afraid- eminem

4. take back the night – justin timberlake

5. el cantante- marc anthony

6. blackbird- the beatles

7. tom ford- jay-z

8. wings- macklemore

9. all around me – flyleaf

10. 3005- childish gambino

I can listen to almost any genre of music, from rap to country. I don’t have a preference. Although it was very hard to pick 10 songs that describe me I tried my best to pick songs that I liked and showed my personality. Some of these songs (like vivir mi vida and el cantante) are my  favorite songs because they describe my personality and remind me of my heritage. I love listening to childish gambino because the way he manipulates words is amazing and he has a true talent. Some of these songs are my all time favorites and will never get old no matter how many times I listen to them.

Dear consumer, greetings. I begin, as it seems we all do, by speaking only of myself. And yet, in face of a such a simple topic- and one on which I’m rather well informed- I hesitate. Were I to sit here and explain myself away- whether by the likes of Dickens or of by Freud- would it be a sufficient summary? Would my person be any more than just a listing of the facts? Would there be any understanding, any emotion, any experience conveyed?

I fear not. And so, in this first post, this preliminary introduction, I turn not to words but to images as to show myself. Now, it’d be easy, and cheap, of me to say something like “An image is worth a thousand words”- it’s apples to oranges- I won’t do that to you, my dear consumer.

Instead, I offer these images up not for the nature of their content, but for the intent within them. Each image was, and is, a choice; I offer up not images of my life, but photos I have taken of my life: images of how I’ve chosen to look at my life- my perspective, which lens I chose to look through, so to speak. In the meantime, for your considerations:

http://youtu.be/6dPIK9Qe7K4

"The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own." ~ Susan Sontag