Monologue

The worst first date

A few years ago, before I moved to NYC I was crushing on this guy. He was super handsome and we had a lot of mutual friends in common, so we agreed on meeting up for a casual date. I would occasionally visit my friend Sabrina in Williamsburg and happened to be hanging out at her house before I was suppose to meet up with this guy. We hadn’t decided where to meet yet but knew we were going to dinner.

Via text

Guy: Where do you want to go?

I’m thinking I don’t know…I don’t even live here.  So I asked Sabrina if she had any suggestions. Her suggestion was Roberta’s in Bushwick.

Me: How about Roberta’s?

Guy: Na that’s too expensive.

Me: Well what are you looking for?

Guy: 2 $$ on yelp.

Now at that point Sabrina advised me against going out with this jerk but for what ever reason I went along with it. So he suggested a Thai place.

Guy: Its BYOB

Me: Huh??

Guy: Bring your own alcohol.

Say WHAT now? this has gone far enough. I had to stand my ground.

Me: You can pick me up a bottle of Merlot on the way there.

He finally agreed and we met at the restaurant. (I walked by the place 3 times because it was the size of a closet.) It had one table inside because well… It was a take-out joint. He was surely attractive so I thought I’m already here, might as well eat something. So we hugged, made some small talk & ordered food.

Me: Hey where is the wine?

Guy: I didn’t pass a liquor store on the way, the corner store only sells beer (points to a 6 pack.)

Wow! What a jerk I thought. I decided to stay. I know what was I thinking right? So I had one or two beers of his and he paid for the bill (at least) which was indeed under $20. We decided to grab a drink at a nearby bar and the night came to a quick end after we sit down and he says “you owe me a drink since you drank my beer.”