Phaedrus and Socrates have different opinions as to which behavior is better: a lover or a non-lover. As Phaedrus narrates Lysias’ discourse, it is clear that he thinks a boy should be with a non-lover rather than a lover. Phaedrus describes lovers as madmen. According to his dialogue, lovers put their interest aside only to satisfy their beloved, which is foolish. Lovers are also known to neglect their concerns and do hateful things to other people in order to satisfy their sweetheart. According to Phaedrus, this type of behavior should be avoided since if a person is willing to hurt others and even betray his friends/family to satisfy the person whom they love, they should not be trusted. On the other hand, Socrates thinks these behaviors should be more appreciated than that of a non-lover. Non-lovers are only looking for physical pleasure in exchange for material things while lovers want the best for whom they love, not necessarily in exchange for something. Socrates also explains that non-lovers desire to feel superior in their relationships, while lovers look at the other person as equal, and look to get wiser together. Additionally, Socrates thinks that a lover will also try to help their beloved with material things (such as provide an education) even when the relationship is not about an exchange of pleasure for material items.
2 thoughts on “How do Socrates and Phaedrus disagree on lovers vs. non-lovers behavior?”
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I agree with Socrates, in our modern society it’s rare to hear about your close friends getting engaged let alone getting married. I believe people think more like Phaedrus today than socrates. People seem like “madmen” stated by phaedrus, but it’s due to the lack of interest and short attention spans people have because of many social outlets like dating apps. If people were not so selfish, and knew to love like Socrates the world would be a better place. I enjoy how ironic it is the debate between these two philosophers, centuries past is still true till this day.
In my opinion, the non-lovers would be more like family or friendship. The relationship with a non-lover would be less selfish. If thinking of this way, I would agree more with Lysias’s point of view. It is more comfortable being with a non-lover.