Often, we find comfort in knowing someone for a long time. Even though we know someone since childhood, doesn’t mean we really know them as a person or know what their motives are. Knowing someone from childhood just means you happened to be born and live around the same time as someone else. In the case of “Roman Fever”, the two ladies may have known each other since they were young and seemed to get along well in the beginning as a result. However, when conflict arises and they begin to see the real side of each other, their friendship that was built on time, not experiences, began to crumble. Thus, Wharton wants us to consider if those around us are simply around us by chance or because we want them to be around us.
3 thoughts on “What does Wharton want us to consider about the ways in which we do or do not know certain people in our lives? E.g. friends, lovers, family.”
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I agree with you that knowing a person for a long time does not mean that we can really understand that person. Or the length of time we know a person does not represent the quality of friendship. In fact, a real friendship is to be able to reveal the thoughts, feelings and inner secrets to each other. The two ladies in the story kept secrets that the other does not know. After they meet in the old place, they found out the secrets of each other’ hidden for many years. This made a heavy blow to their friendship. I think Wharton wants us to know that friends need trust and sincerity. Also, we should not let friendship turned into a hidden battle to compare who is the richest, or who has a better life, or a better love relationship.
I agree with your point regarding truly knowing someone. Often circumstances force people to be friends, like assigned roommates. Once those relationships are broken up, it is less likely that the people involved will remain friends once separated. It is often worth considering which relationships are the most authentic and ensuring that they are not lost.
For me this story was about perspective. In tandem with what you said, I believe the reason for the shift in their relationship had to do with a shift in perspective caused by conflict. The way people perceive is not only based on past experience, but it is also based on what they are experiencing in that moment. We saw glimpses of this idea in “The Gilded Six Bits” as the inherent immorality of being unfaithful was pushed to the wayside when Missie was overcome by the man’s wealth and charisma. In this sense, it could be true that a relationship build on time doesn’t necessarily mean it’s strong, but the fault in their relationship also could be attributed to other factors such as perspective and the experiences in that moment.