Thesis 1 (topic 5): In Feng Menglong’s narrative, “Du Tenth Sinks the Jewel Box in Anger”, the reader can see a tension between Du Tenth and Li Jia’s viewpoints on the value of money.
Thesis 2 (own topic): In both Feng Menglong’s, “Du Tenth Sinks the Jewel Box in Anger,” and Saikaku’s narrative, “Life of a Sensuous Woman”, the reader can see the impact women can have in men’s lives.
5 responses so far ↓
k.matthes // Oct 1st 2015 at 11:11 pm
Thesis 2 is well written but can be more narrow. You can include what type of impact women have in men’s lives, negative or positive. Also, to make it even more specific, you can choose one story to talk about rather than both. Another possible thesis to this topic could be:
In Feng Menglong’s, “Du Tenth Sinks the Jewel Box in Anger,” the character Du Tenth shows how women can influence men by their beauty.
j.kohan // Oct 2nd 2015 at 12:48 am
Both thesis statements examine salient subject matters in their respective narratives, so good work on subject choice. I would suggest going with the first thesis statement, that might be in part with the fact that I had written something similar myself. Although certainly viable, the second thesis statement writes, “…the reader can see the impact women can have in men’s lives”. This certainly is a strong point of discussion but I personally see it being a bit too general for a 4-5 paper. I feel that since there is so much to discuss it may be hard to remain on task, which may affect the strength of the writing. If you were leaning on that thesis, maybe you would want to make it more specific as to how exactly women affect men’s lives. Certainly a judgement call on your part, but nonetheless great work.
e.volynsky // Oct 2nd 2015 at 11:26 am
Great subject choice! Of course, be more specific! I think your thesis statements are both very well written, however they are not narrow enough. This is obviously something easier said than done, but try to get even more in depth in the one sentence. For the first thesis, what is this “tension”; try to describe the opposing views as concisely as possible. In the second thesis, include the impact that women have on men’s lives. What kind of impact? positive? negative? And going back to k.matthes’s comment, what qualities of the women impact the man (ex. Beauty)? Great start.
k.vataj // Oct 2nd 2015 at 8:25 pm
I agree that thesis two is well written, but it is too general for this type of 4-5 page paper. Maybe you could choose the impact that it had negatively or positively rather than general. I like the first thesis a lot, it is similar to the same point that I am trying to prove. You could definitely elaborate with this topic. Although I do like where you are headed with the second one, it would definitely be interesting to read about.
JMERLE // Oct 3rd 2015 at 3:36 pm
Victoria,
Both are nice observations, but both are rather broad, in terms of a thesis statement.
In your first, you would need to define Li Jia’s viewpoints on money, and also what Du Tenth’s value system is. In the second, you would need to decide what that impact is, overall.
Grade: 8/10