First Person:
“My head is spinning, overcome by the rhythms of that distant waltz, by the odor of damp, fragrant plants: I fall exhausted on the bed, touching my cheeks, my eyes, my nose, as if I was afraid that some invisible hand had ripped off the mask I’ve been wearing for twenty- seven years, the cardboard features that hid my true face, my real appearance, the appearance I once had but then forgot. I bury my face in the pillow, waiting to keep the wind of the past from tearing away my own features, because I don’t want to lose them. I lie there with my face in the pillow, waiting for what has to come, for what I can’t prevent. I don’t look at my watch again, that useless objet tediously measuring time in accordance with human vanity, those little hands marking out the long hours that were invented to disguise the real passage of time, which races with a mortal and insolent swiftness no clock could ever measure. A life, a century, fifty years; I can’t imagine those lying measurements any longer, I can’t hold the bodiless dust within my hands.”
Third Person:
“His head is spinning, overcome by the rhythms of that distant waltz, by the odor of damp, fragrant plants: he falls exhausted on the bed, touching his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, as if he was afraid that some invisible hand had ripped off the mask he’s been wearing for twenty- seven years, the cardboard features that hid his true face, his real appearance, the appearance he once had but then forgot. He buries his face in the pillow, waiting to keep the wind of the past from tearing away his own features, because he don’t want to lose them. He lies there with his face in the pillow, waiting for what has to come, for what he can’t prevent. He doesn’t look at his watch again, that useless objet tediously measuring time in accordance with human vanity, those little hands marking out the long hours that were invented to disguise the real passage of time, which races with a mortal and insolent swiftness no clock could ever measure. A life, a century, fifty years; he can’t imagine those lying measurements any longer, he can’t hold the bodiless dust within his hands.”
It was hard going from each point of view, because you almost forget who the author is talking about: himself or me?
3 responses so far ↓
f.furca // May 11th 2017 at 10:14 pm
Both translation seemed very normal to me and it is what I would expect the writer to either write in first or third person. When reading the original I felt like I was becoming the story and it definitely made it easier to imagine what was happening throughout the story. Also, I would like to bring up the theme of Identity because I think it ties in well within the story. The main character is of course dealing with a problem to understand why the older woman and Aura are so similar. I think that when the writer is wiring in the 2nd person what is happening with the two characters is happening with myself while reading. A quotation that I noticed while reading from the third person section and from the original the quote from the third person “He buries his face in the pillow, waiting to keep the wind of the past from tearing away his own features, because he don’t want to lose them.” Reading it from this point of view it feel very different from the original. When reading the original, which says, “You bury your face in the pillow, trying to keep the wind of the past from tearing away your own features, because you don’t want to lose them.” When reading this i feel more connected the story as if I was coming this action with the pillow. I also, agree with Jacqueline when she points out that it becomes difficult because you are not sure whom the author is talking about.
b.samura // May 11th 2017 at 10:22 pm
I agree it with Jacqueline it looks hard translating the texts from two different points of view because some words change and sentences as well. Being first person and third person can be seen as past tense but in the translation it is still in the present as it says, ” He lies there with his face in the pillow, waiting for what has to come, ” it could’ve been changed to “lied” and “waited” but it remains the same which makes the translation easier throughout the three. Had it been changed it would’ve been more differences from the second point of view.
j.morreale // May 11th 2017 at 11:48 pm
Jacqueline did a good job translating the passages even with the difficulty that comes with translating. I do agree that going from the different points of view is difficult at some points. You have to change a few words or even sometimes change sentences. Changing the point of view does change how the story feels when reading it. In the second person it sounds like you are part of the story and being talked to where as in the third person it seems like the story is just being told between the characters. In the first person it puts the reader in the shoes of the character and the reader can actually feel how the character is feeling or know what the character is thinking. You can see a big difference in just the first sentence where it states “My head is spinning” and “His head is spinning.” In the passage where it says “My head” the reader feels they are in the story and in the passage when it says “His head” it does feel like you are reading the story and the story is going on between the characters.
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