Bro, She is so Ideal!
Women can be super awesome. At least that’s what Valmiki attempts to convince his audience in The Ramayana of Valmiki. “The Ramayana is many things to many people . . . a love story about an Ideal Prince and an ideal woman, whose relationship falters late in their marriage” (1170). The reader is tasked with establishing what characteristics define an ideal woman. Though times have changed, Valmiki brazenly depicts Sita as an ideal woman. What the word “ideal” really means in 550 B.C.E can only be understood through the text itself and the actions of Sita.
A woman who is revered is a great example of an ideal woman. Sita is in fact revered by her people. When Rama returns to the city, he is showered with praise and awe by the people. Sita also receives a praise from her people, “Women standing at their windows . . . praised Sita, Rama’s consort” (1176). Rather than being overshadowed by the titan that is Rama, Sita is acknowledged and thus ideal to her people. Another point to be made, Rama is considered the epitome of greatness, marrying a woman such as Sita solidifies the idea that she is ideal if not more. Rama’s marriage to Sita also raises the question of love. Marriage can be a political move by most, how can one deduce that he loves her solely from marriage? Throughout the text there are numerous instances of Rama’s affection towards Sita. When Ravanna, the evil king banishes Rama, he asks Sita to remain behind thus jeopardizing his compliance with Dharma, the law of the land. He does so to protect her from the shallow life of exile (the forest). Rama is willing to violate his moral law to ensure the happiness of his wife, this can only be understood as love.
Is an ideal woman expected to blindly follow orders from her husband? No, she is not. Sita disregards and rebuttals questionable decisions made by Rama for what she considers to be better for them both. When Rama asks Sita to remain in the city she quickly declines. Sita claims, “The husband alone is her sole refuge here in this world and in the other world, too . . . Life with the husband is incomparably superior to life in a palace, or an aerial mansion, or a trip to heaven” (1182). An ideal woman is willing to share the pain of her husband. Sita also shields Rama from disobeying his Dharma. Not only does Sita ensure that Rama retain his religious innocence, she also reveals herself to be a strongly religious herself, revealing yet another example of what the ideal woman should be. Following Sita’s statement, she also says, “I shall go ahead of you, clearing a path for you in the forest” (1182). Protection of one’s husband is unveiled to be another ideal train of a woman (wife).
Religion and Dharma play a key role in facilitating actions done by characters. Considering the importance of it, we can deduce that one who follows Dharma is an ideal person. Sita has shown the reader that she is in fact a patron of Dharma, for herself and selflessly for her husband. As the couple is in the woods with Laksmana, Rama pursues a beautiful deer for Sita. A worrisome noise erupts in the forest and Sita sends Laksmana to insure her husband’s safety. She is worried for the life of Rama, as well as acting upon the family tree of her Dharma.
If Sita is an ideal woman, why does Rama offer to relinquish her to Bharata post news of his exile? If Sita is more than just a title and object, Rama shouldn’t have offered to give his wife away. Rama is simply making sure that he is obeying Dharma by prioritizing kingdom over family, and he is prioritizing Dharma over his own desires.
When it is revealed that Laksmana has abandoned Sita in order to save Rama, why does Rama refer to his wife in such a way, “Swayed by an angry woman’s words” (1198). At first we had established that being outspoken and reasonably defiant as ideal traits. It would seem that Rama is invalidating the words of Sita; a woman should not have a say. Looking back at the exact words of Rama, he says, “an angry woman” rather than only “woman.” Rama is assigning blind human emotion to the words of Sita. Sita was angry, humans act upon blind emotion in irresponsible ways. Rama is not rejecting the say of Sita, rather he is in simple disapproval of her acts as any human might mistakenly do. Instead of disproving Sita as an ideal woman, another ideal trait is revealed, being human. Sita is not god, she is human like everyone else, though she has excelled in what is considered to be ideal.
By examining a plethora of Sita’s actions and conversation, we can now refine our image of what it meant to be an ideal woman in the days of The Ramayana of Valmiki. Though different to what we consider “ideal” in modern times, Sita is not only an ideal woman, she has almost reached the level of perfection.
One response so far
In the book, Sita is ideal for sure, because it is a book that teach people how to be ideal. However, I think “ideal” is a concept that has more than one standard. For men, an Ideal wife is someone who is beautiful, considerate, loyal, and Sita is the one. But for women, an Ideal wife is someone who found an Ideal husband who makes money, does housework, takes care children, and also romantic.