What is it like to read Gertrude Stein, it’s different that’s for sure. I’ve never read anything even remotely close to how Gertrude Stein’s style of writing. Is it intimidating I’m not sure, I know it’s confusing but that’s about it. The wordings are a bit off… I know I hear her voice in my head when I’m reading it, especially after I’ve heard her read “If I’ve told him” three times in a row. Not for the beginning of the poem I’ve read maybe, but once the wording started to get a bit iffy I started hearing her voice in my head. It was a bit disconcerting. Well either way it was fun to read about her.

If I told him. If I told him. If I told him, dictator and despot, if I told him. Him if I told. What would happen if I told him. Would he run? Would he run if I told him? Would he stay if he stayed if I told him if he stayed would I tell him would he wouldn’t he or would he ever? Cacophony is cacophonous. Is Gertrude Stein is she cacophonous is she if she were to be cacophonous would I listen if she were? Would he? Would he listen to me if I were cacophonous if his brains were tangled from the sounds of repetition would he listen? Would he plug his ears or would he listen? Would anyone listen if we told them would they?

Would people listen to Gertrude if she followed the rules? Would they listen if she did? Is breaking the rules making the rules? Simple and elegant. Simple is elegant and clean is clear as clear is clean and we are all together to see how they run see how the run she how they fly.

I could not hear Gertrude’s voice in my head until now. Until I heard those videos I hadn’t heard it. But something about the way she breaks all the rules the English language puts out makes me love her writing. She basically put a big “F**K YOU!” in the face of anyone who is a grammar nitpicker, English lover, and technicality-obsessed intellectual. Gertrude Stein’s writing is, in a way, playful and fun– a reminder that rules should be broken. Obviously, who wouldn’t love that idea?

If I hear her, does she hear herself. If she hears do I hear, does he hear, does he not. What if he says does she hear do I hear. What if I say do I hear what she hears and does he hear what she hears. What is time to her does she hear the tick and the tick hears her who hears me. What is going on?
What’s going on? Was my number one question besides, what is she saying? As well as “She sounds like my grandmother.” It was so interesting listening and reading what she was saying. Although I did not understand a single word she said It was really interesting, hearing her and just rambling on these random words. My favorite reading from Gertrude stein was Stanzas in Meditation: Stanza LXXXIII, when I first started reading I realized I did not understand a single word she had said. One of the things I found the most interesting was the way I would read the poem in my head. When I was reading this poem I felt like I was literally rapping in my head. I heard a beat, while reading this poetry. Eminem’s beat in “Im not Afraid” kept popping out and ringing inside my head. I also found that the most interesting thing was actually the fact that her words did not rhyme but for some reason you would hear many of them rhyme.
Inclose
Chose.
Open
Open
Close.
Therefor.
Chose.
Close.
This.
Mine.
Come.
Coming.
Come.
Done.
Although some of them did rhyme there were others that would kind of rhyme because the words within the line would make them rhyme. One thing that stuck out for me was “therefor.” I loved the way it was spelled because it just further emphasized the “ghettoness” of her poem. I f she was with us today especially in the Bronx, I could see her rhymes fitting in very well. When I first started reading some of her selections, I honestly could not imagine or hear her inside my voice. The name Gertrude Stein to me sounds like the name of a daffodil that loves literature. LOL. When I discovered more about who she was, I saw a male, and for some reason the picture in my head became more clear, and unfortunately it’s due to stereotypes, and not expecting women to really rap. It’s sad that although I feel sympathy towards that issue, I can’t completely get over some things society has built for our gender role. I thought it was really funny how everybody in class was getting annoyed by Stein’s writing; it was just too funny seeing the frustration in everybody else’s faces. I didn’t find her annoying at all. I honestly felt really deep into it because I really wanted to know what she was saying and I still do. What is it that inspires her to write these shenanigans, but what many have considered genius.

And so the reading of a reading commenced as the commencement of a reading commenced. And such commencement commenced as the reading was read.

One. Confused. Abused by the lines and fused with such rhymes unused.

Two. Repetitive. Again and again and again again. Slightly different and then again again again. And once more

Three. Trance. —

From line to line I lined the reading. A reading read by lines line after line. The lines commenced in commencement and my interpretation began.

An interpretation interpreted as possibly interpreted where interpretation can be made of a soul interpreted. But how can one interpret the interpretation of an interpreter?

Such as the drawing of a drawer the drawings of the drawing were drawn. And the lines were drowned in the drawing. The drowning drawings lined with lines were outlined with lines so drawn that they were drowned.

    I found myself laughing when i heard it the first time in class, however i liked the way how it fits to the dance, noticed that as the word repeats and the movement repeats at the same time. But still her voice was really annoy. To be honest, i didnt understand anything when i heard it in class. This morning i  tried to listen it again from YouTube, and i replayed it couple times, until my cousin came to me and said:” what was that noise, would you please stop playing that.” I told her this’s my homework, it’s a poem. She replied “I don’t care, just stop it, so annoy .” i didnt stop, after few time of replaying it, i started to get some ideas about it, she was trying to response to Picasso’s portrait of her. More interesting is that I found this way of writting is easier to understand, especially for someone like me who doesnt really like poetry. ‏

Reading Gertude Stein was not an easy task and i did not sit down and try to understand what she was saying. At points it was unbearable to read. When I first read it, I had no idea what was going on. I read it a few times but nothing worked. What was intersting was to hear it out loud the way she actually meant for us to hear it. Even though I found it interesting, I still didn’t enjoy hearing her voice as I was reading it to myself because her voice repeating itself over and over again is something like torture. I did not want to imitate her when I was writing. It was annoying enough that I had to listen to her but it would be pretty unbearable to make up my own writing nonesense where I repeat words over and over again that have no meaning.

I don’t see how anyone could find this type of writing unique or even enjoy reading it. There is no plot, no story, no message. It’s just random words that pour out of her mouth. I don’t see her as anything more than someone who tried something different to get attention. The only reason she’s getting attention from me is cause I am forced to sit and listen to her, then blog about how much I cant stand her. If I would have read her before english class I would have put the book down and thrown it in the trash. I wouldn’t try to decipher what she was saying, I woudn’t applaud her uniqueness. I would set the writing aside and never think about her again.

After listened to “If I told him”, the Gertrude Stein’s portrait of Picasso, again and again I found myself frustrated because I could not understand what she is trying to do. Then I rewrite slowly in my home this continuous repetition of nonsense and I realized that I’m still not getting her point. But then one thing passed through my mind: “If I write it”, or at least trying to make the same process to do a similar thing so then even if I could not understand her point, I could feel it. Therefore, I tried to do a similar thing in order to feel how it feels how it feels.

If it’s beating so I’m living, if I’m living so it’s beating

If I’m living and it’s beating so it beats for living

and if it beats for living, I’m living for its beating

Because beating and beating makes me living

and if I’m living so it’s beating

One step, two steps, and a third one and it is still beating

Continuously continuous its continuity

and will continue for my living,

if it won’t continue as is continuing now

will not beating and beating so I won’t go on living.

Strong

Fragile

Repeatedly

Unnoticed

Noisy but in silent

Is it continuously beating? So, am I living?

Because if it’s not beating I can’t live and

If I’m not living, I won’t continuously live to make it beating

I’m afraid,

Made me stronger, but I can’t stand it anymore

Because living just for beating is not a real life

but if it’s not real how could I beat just for living?

Nonsense, illogical, absurd, causeless

But it’s important to know the rational motive of its cause

Now I’m leaving while am living while am beating

while am beating while am beating

Is not a tic tac, but has the same pattern

in its continuously continuity

Pressure

blood

arteries and veins

oxygen

and is still beating

I don’t know how to feel, how to understand

or how to understand how it feels

but I know that I’m living, so I know my heart is beating

and if it’s beating so I’m living.

me and ryan were talking about the legality of alcohol and tobacco and I inferred to this:

Tobacco and Alcohol are legal because they kill people and help keep depopulation in the world, this weeds out a good percentage because it kills them and are some of the few components that are meant to depopulate us. Such as fast food, why is it so available in every city, state but the ratio of that to healthy food joints are way higher. Obviously this can be seen as a conspiracy it actually makes more sense because it applies in real life situations.

Not only is it consumption, it could be laws, diseases,

http://www.infowars.com/the-move-to-depopulate-the-planet/

here it gives direct examples from even individuals like our president and individuals who ruled economically such as John D Rockerfeller.

Even referring to my last post about the flurioude being in our water could be a way to depopulate the earth.

This may sound all conspiricyish but if you look at cold hard details and do more research it just seems more believable.

I am glad I was not the only one who felt that way about Gertrude. As i was reading it, i couldn’t help but be frustrated and confused. I was about to stop reading it, but realized that it wouldn’t hurt. In the midst of the reading and a job interview I was having anxiety over, I forgot about the blog post I would have otherwise remembered had my schedule not been so cluttered.

The interview went fine, the new shoes were hurting my feet, and I wasn’t able to eat anything until now, 5PM. Now all I need to do is wait, and I am glad it’s over because I can finally go back to worrying about school. It is funny how much of a stress school is, but when you overcome something even more stressing, it almost becomes pleasant to go back to.

This will apply to many other things. I realize that when I occupy my schedule and juggle more, it makes the little things easier. However when my mind was only occupied with school, it seemed like the biggest chore. I realized the more you do, the more fluently you can do them, and the easier it becomes along the way.

With that said I am still not going to go out and take 6 classes next semester, work a full time job, and do countless extracurricular activities. I will however keep it in mind the next time I feel I will come across stressful obstacles and realize that all i need is a plan, and eventually it all works out in the end.

How do we know when we’re doing the right thing? Are we supposed to listen to what our parents tell us? My brain says yes, and then I think with that little cynical voice in my head “But what if they’re wrong?” What if? I think I know what if they’re wrong: a lifetime of rebellious attitude and “Go to your rooms”, which is quite familiar to me. I wonder how we, the next generation, are supposed to conduct our lives. In pursuit of truth? Or in accordance with long-standing postulates? Something tells me the answer is not so simple. Another life-long search. Awesome!