Who am I vs Who I was

1. In order to begin my process of recovering my memory, first I would have to consider the questions of who am I now and would learning about my past change the way I am. The most important aspect of memories is that it shapes a person’s personality. However, if I am already the person, I was before, would remembering about my past make a huge difference?

Secondly, I would turn to the people that claim to be my family and friends in order to answer those questions. I would turn to them in hopes of finding about their past opinions of me. This would provide a good opportunity for those close to me to open up and truthfully inform me of my likes and dislikes (accepting their opinions is a different story). Also, if there is anyone in the world that could walk you through your past, it can only be the people that walked with you in your past.

Other than seeking answers from friends and family, I would try to search for my own answers through my personal belongings such as my clothes, my room, any journals or notes, my computer, the music I listen to, etc. These small materialistic things in my life provide an understanding of what type of person I was and what I enjoyed. These are the type of answer that wouldn’t be found through asking others but through an exploration of my own.

2. I envision being scared, alone and frightened by what is unknown to me. Being in a world and lost about your past is quite a scary experience. These people who claim to be my family and closest friends are nothing but strangers to me. If I were truly ignorant of my past, then I would probably be ignorant of what type of relationship I had with these people. I wouldn’t know whether to trust them or not and whether they can actually help me. What if the people that claim to be my friends were actually people I despised deep down inside? However, in attempt to reconstruct my life, I would have to rely on these people. I wouldn’t know whether or not to trust them in helping me through the process. The things they tell me and the emotional support they attempt to provide wouldn’t have a deep effect on me if they didn’t gain my trust.

3. I believe that every part of my memory, whether good or bad, shapes the person I am today. Yes, I believe that many people have memories they want to forget. However, within each memory comes an important lesson to be learned. Even if the memory was terrible and was repressed for a long time, I would want to gain knowledge of these memories for the sake of experiencing what I have experienced again. In theory, I would most probably want to remember the happiest moments of my life such as graduation, prom, birthdays etc. I would also probably not want to remember any memory that ruined my childhood or any painful memories such as a death of someone close to me, witnessing something terrifying as a childhood or painful events that occurred between someone I am now close with. However, all of these memories are part of the learning experience in life. Without these memories, I wouldn’t be where I am now and I wouldn’t have learned the lesson I learned. I believe by recovering all the memories that I have would provide closure in understanding who I am.