Meditation Reflection

I have never meditated on my own before. I do think about my thoughts on rare occasions or about my feelings but only for a moment. I have never really just sat down and focused. One of the tasks asked to take notes on our state of mind before mediating so thats what I did. I knew I was in the best state. I felt anxious, sad, angry and a bit depressed. The weekend did not go so well for me but I’ll spare the details. My anxiety is probably a 9 because of that plus school and work. I also noticed tension in my shoulders, arms and neck. I would say my physical tension lever was a 7 out of 10.
I chose Ines Freedman’s “Guided Meditation: Mindfulness of Thinking.” At first, I felt silly sitting there breathing in and out slowly with my eyes closed; I could honestly feel the angry look that I had on my face even with my eyes closed. I felt the tension in my shoulders and noticed that I could hear everything around me. As I breathed, I started to let go of the tension. My face relaxed but my thoughts were running like crazy.
I heard Ines say to visualize are thoughts and put them into words I immediately did so. I could see what took place over the weekend and hear the harsh words that had been exchanged but then I started thinking it over slowly. That was frustrating for me because I just wanted those thoughts to disappear. I didn’t want to be reminded of it but I had to just accept it. I needed to let go of all of that anger and ease my body when I thought about it deeper. My body tensed up but then relaxed as I kept breathing. I finally stopped thinking of anything or at least it felt like I wasn’t thinking of anything. It was just a relaxed feeling as if you don’t have a care in the world. I knew that the negative thoughts were all in the background but I did not want to be stressed by them. I would try this again in the future. It felt good to take some time to sit down and relax my body and mind.