Facing a new life

When I opened my eyes, the strong light hurt my eyes. My mind was blank; I tried to figure out who I was and why I stayed here. All I can remember was that I was struck by a falling object. I was surrounded by a woman and man who told me that they are my parents. I was so confused about everything around me. I didn’t have the ability to judge everybody. I was so depressed in the hospital. A few days later, I was a little bit excited because I can leave the hospital and went back to the “home” that “my parents” told me. In my bedroom, I sat in the chair and tried to relax myself. I found a book on the desk which is “The Catcher in the Sky”. is it my favorite book, am I a person who likes reading and writing? All kinds of questions came to my mind. When I watched around, I found some photos on the wall and then forced myself to think of the stories behind these pictures. I must be intimate with these people because I was so happy in the pictures. They must be my best friends who share the same interests with me. “mum.” I turned to my mother, “can you tell me who are they in the photos? Are they my best friends? Where can I find them?” my mother answered patiently then. After knowing that I have so many good friends and so many fantastic memories, I regained the confidence to meet the challenges that come from different directions.
The next day, I made phone calls to “my best friends” to begin my recovery journey. They were so excited to see me and took me to a lot of places where we had fun together. I almost forgot that I lost my memory. I really didn’t matter anymore, although my memory was gone, our relationships were there forever.
There may be unhappy things I may not want to regain of cause. Nobody wants to recall the sad moments in their lives. But I will, it is those happy and unhappy memories that make who I am. If I want to be “me”, I need to regain everything. For a patient who lost the memory, I have the right and responsibility to know everything that I knew in the past. I lost my memories, It didn’t mean that I should not be responsible for what I did in the past. If I owned somebody thousand dollars, I should pay him thousand dollars, I can’t ask other people to bear that. That can’t be me. I don’t want to take losing memory as an excuse for my behaviors.