meditation..
II. Before you begin your meditation, we ask you assess and take notes on your own state of mind during the 24 hour period leading up to the meditation.
A. First, take note of the moods you’ve experienced.
Today, I am feeling bored & exhausted. But in the past few days I have experienced anger, annoyance, and impatience.
B. Assess your overall level of anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10.
My level of anxiety is about a 5. I feel the anxiety from having my business presentation coming up soon.
C. Assess the level of physical tension in your body- where do you notice the tension? Try rating your overall tension on a scale of 1 to 10.
I think overall tension is 0; I don’t feel tension anywhere.
III. After you have finished your meditation, re-asses your state of mind and body.
A. Reassess your mood on the chart.
I still feel bored, but a little less exhausted now. I do not feel any anger, annoyance, or impatience anymore.
B. Reassess your level of anxiety from 1 to 10.
I feel less anxiety also. I would say I feel about 2-3 on the scale.
C. Reasses your level of physical tension and rate it from 1 to 10.
I actually now feel a little tension in my lower back and neck.
IV. Describe the experience– What type of meditation did you choose? Describe what was going on in your mind and your body, what kind of thoughts and sensations did you experience during the meditation? Were there any challenging or frustrating aspects of the experience, and if so, what were they? Would you try this again in the future? Why or why not?
I chose to follow one of the guided meditation prerecorded audios by Gil Fronsdal. In my mind I was trying to tell my body to relax as much as possible. I tried to listen to what Gil was saying at the beginning of the audio, but I wasn’t really trying to encode the information; instead I kept wondering when the actual meditation process would start. I read a little bit about meditation before. So I was already trying to notice my breathing and the sensory cues around me. The sound of cicadas outside was more noticeable to me and after about 10 minutes (or it felt like 10 minutes), I started to feel uncomfortable in my back. The difficulty in this process was to sit still. I have difficulty sitting in class all the time, even if the class isn’t boring. I just have the feeling of “ants in my pants.” I need to constantly move around and it was the same for this meditation process. I was consistently twitching while sitting. When Gil told me to try and feel the different parts of my body, being aware of them (i.e. my right hand), that part of my body actually felt even more uncomfortable. I notice it feeling a bit numb as I focused more and more on it. I felt a slight headache too when he said to be aware of my head. Also, I wished I had chose a shorter meditation clip. I thought from time to time about if the clip was going to end. I think I would try this again in the future. A lot of times, during the first exposure to a certain experience, I know I am quite resistant to it. I think maybe if I try this 2-3 times more, I may start to have a different experience and start to find meditation more helpful.