- Writing Process:
During the process of this particular essay, I chose a teachable moment that is very relevant to me and something I’d like to get off my shoulders. Due to a writer’s block to this project, it was pretty difficult for me to get inspired and have an organized time schedule during my working process of this project. There were times where I would sit for at least an hour in front of my laptop and write nothing to one sentence. I tried different methods to like looking at photographs, listening to music or reflecting upon the situation that I wanted to write about. The way I incorporate the feedback of my peers was that I’d revised any repetition mentioned upon their comments. I had a lot of inspirational comments that helped me to get more motivated with my workflow and get a little more inspired and therefore make improvements to this piece. There was a lot that had to be covered within the story and it was pretty difficult for me to express what I see and feel in my mind and heart which caused me to have a heavy writer’s block like mentioned earlier.
- Areas of Improvements
- The section (Hello, Best Friend…) where I write about my best friend in my opinion could use some improvements. I initially wanted to make this particular paragraph short and straight forward but there was just too much to cover, I feel like ot could be shorter and in a way where you can still express these details, I just didn’t know how to do it at that time.
- “ I would always think to myself that she was just not in the mood or was just tired from school but when I would see her with her classmates or other people, she looked so cheerful, very happy and more clingy and close than she was with me.” I think this sentence is pretty long, there could be definitely a way on how to make it shorter and straight forward.
- In my first paragraph (Attachment) I end the sentence with “I am very aware that people can forget but never was I ever ready to admit and accept it.” I feel like there could have been a better closing sentence and transition to the following paragraph.
- The transition between the second to last and the last paragraph is kind of very blunt and not really smooth.
- The overall essay feels more like a conversation between the text and the reader but I would have wanted to have it seem like a story rather than a conversation.
Grading Rubric
Communication of value – For this part I would rate my work a 3. I think that my work has shown a broad understanding of my teachable moment and the situation I was in.
Narrative Coherence and Development – For this section I would also rate my work a 3. I think my work explores my ideas within my narrative shape and shows a lot of details what I wanted to talk about to show a great and broad structure of my teachable moment.
Narrative Conventions – For this section I would rate my work a 4. I think that my work shows a broad and wide range creativity within the scenes where I also dramatize certain situations within the narrative.
Introduction (teaching the reader how to Navigate the narratives) – I would give myself a 2 in this section. I really focused on showing how I overcame and learned from my attachments within the narrative but I lack in showing what it actually taught me.Use of Language, Control of Syntax, and Mechanics – Lastly, I will give myself a 3 in this section. I think that the use of language was pretty clear with some minor grammar mistakes or sentence structures that in some parts may be repetitive.