“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller – Dr. Richard Chambers.
It was my senior year in high school. Since I had only taken 2 APs in total up to that point in my high school career, I thought I’d make up for it by taking 5 APs. That’s right, 5. It was more than the entire amount of AP classes I had ever taken in high school. What could go wrong? I thought, “Even if I don’t do well, it’s my senior year anyway. Colleges won’t care about my senior grades, and all of my friends are in these classes, and I want to be with them too.” Honestly, going into the classes, I didn’t think much about it. I assumed the classes would be much easier than all the other APs I had taken because I’d heard from upperclassmen that teachers know students who take APs in their senior year won’t care about their grades, so they’re going to be more lenient towards them and give them easy grades. Little did I know, this was going to be the opposite of what happened.
The first month of classes was a breeze. Just a couple of new concepts that didn’t take much effort to learn, and the load of homework wasn’t a lot at all, leaving me with ample time for family and friends. So far, so good. By the first quarter, my grades were the same as last year, and I felt that taking these AP classes was a good idea. I thought that I could never regret it.
This started to change when the second quarter began. My AP teachers started teaching us concepts and terms that were confusing. There was one week when I had a major assignment due, but I had pushed it back until the day before the deadline. Big mistake. It was the night before the assignment was due, and I remember opening my laptop to start working on the major assignment. It was then that I realized I had another major assignment due in 3 days. I did the math and saw two options: either I put all of my efforts into one project to get a good grade on that one but do terribly on the other one, or I get two kind-of-bad grades for the projects. I chose the second option.
For the next 3 days, I didn’t get out of my bedroom, only emerging to go to the bathroom or get something to eat or drink to bring back into my room. I was isolated. I would see my phone lighting up every hour with my friends planning to go out somewhere, and although it was tempting, I couldn’t let my grades fail. Even when I finished the major assignments, because I had been putting all of my time into them for the last 3 days, I had fallen behind on regular homework and studying in my other classes. This was when the trouble started. The 2 major assignments started a chain reaction where I was constantly behind on schoolwork and studying for my classes for the next 3 weeks. Those 3 weeks felt like what a hell week would be like if I had ever joined the Navy Seals.
But there was something else that I was behind on, which was something that I hadn’t thought about until my parents sat me down one day on the living room couch and said, “What’s happening? You hardly even speak to us anymore, and you’re stuck in your room all day. You haven’t even gone out with your friends in a while. Did you get in a fight with them?” This was when I realized that not only was I behind on schoolwork, but I was behind on my social life too. I hadn’t eaten with my family or hung out with my friends for the last 3 weeks. I had been so focused and stressed about schoolwork that I forgot the most important thing in my life: my friends and family.
After talking, I went into my room and started to reflect on the past 3 weeks. I started to realize that what I needed in my life was balance. I recalled times when I was too anxious and stressed to do schoolwork, so I would just stare at my computer screen for 30 minutes, unable to write down any of my thoughts or having trouble remembering the most basic stuff that I learned in class. The next day, I agreed to go swimming with my friends. After I finished hanging out with them, I felt good. The anxious feeling that had been lingering in me had been washed away with the calm water in the pool.
I went home and started to do homework, and everything came to me so easily. The problems I put aside because I couldn’t understand how to do them were a breeze. And this was when I saw the true necessity of balance in one’s life. I realized that sometimes I needed time off from whatever I was doing to take a break. From that point on, the 1 and a half hours at the dinner table with my family every night was my time to destress and spend time with those who mattered the most. I realized that after I’d taken time off from whatever I was doing, it helped me work better when I came back. It’s good to have passion and big goals in life, but you also need balance in whatever you’re pursuing. Also, the things I did to destress weren’t anything special. Just spending time with my family and friends was enough. You don’t have all the time in the world to chase your dreams, but you also don’t have all the time to spend time with the people who matter the most. Just know that when you focus on a goal and feel stuck occasionally, take a break from it and come back. It will help you tremendously, as it did for me.