by Zefyr Lisowski
Many effective essays draw from a wide range of secondary sources to build out and support an argument. These can include more academic, peer-reviewed sources—often from a database like JSTOR—but also, depending on the paper, course readings, novels, and newspaper articles as well. In this guide, we’ll be looking at Emanuela Gallo’s essay, “Surveillance and Societal Norms: A Self-Perpetuating Cycle.” Emanuela’s essay is a longer piece that incorporates secondary sources very effectively, although the strategies used here will work in a shorter paper as well.
We’ll go over parts of Emanuela’s essay in greater detail in this guide, although please consider reading it yourself as well. And regardless, once you’ve finished reading, practice emulating some of these strategies yourself.
Introducing your secondary sources in your introduction
Surveillance acts as a compelling force in regard to human behavior. The state of being observed enforces societal norms, defined as socially enforced rules, behavioral patterns, or internalized values. Public visibility applies pressure on individuals to conform to expected conduct. Michel Foucault, in “Discipline & Punish: The Birth of the Prison,” describes this phenomenon by analyzing the panopticon, a social control mechanism characterized by a circle of prison cells surrounding a central observation tower. He writes, “He who is subjected to a field of visibility, and who knows it, assumes responsibility for the constraints of power … he becomes the principle of his own subjection” (Foucault 7). Inmates internalize the surveillance and assumed omniscience, thereby regulating their own behavior in accordance with the rules. Cyclical by nature, the relationship between surveillance and norms does not end here. When confronted with the prospect of surveillance, norms play a major role in dictating one’s response. Just as surveillance compels adherence to norms, norms compel adherence to surveillance. The values people hold drive them to ignore the terrifying consequences of privacy violations and into the cold embrace of heightened surveillance. By analyzing norms through a legal, ethnographic, and literary lens, this essay will argue that surveillance fulfills needs created by societal norms—protection from abuse anxiety, ego blows, and perceived racial lawlessness—putting pressure on individuals to fall in lockstep with surveillance.
(bolded parts intended as emphasis)
This introduction encompasses a lot—introducing the paper’s emphasis on surveillance, using philosopher Michel Foucault’s work to provide a framework for the rest of the paper, and outlining where the rest of the essay goes from here. (For help applying other frameworks of analysis to your own paper, refer to our guide on that.)
But the paragraph works because of the two bolded parts. First, “Cyclical by nature, the relationship between surveillance and norms does not end here” functions as a transition sentence, connecting the two parts of the paragraph. This way, we know there’s a second point being made that we should pay attention to.
Then, the second bolded section— “By analyzing norms through a legal, ethnographic, and literary lens, this essay will argue that surveillance fulfills needs created by societal norms”— highlights the three different types of secondary sources used in the paper. We can infer that a legal analysis will probably be more scholarly, drawing from peer-reviewed papers or court cases. Conversely, an ethnographic lens of analysis tells us the paper will also focus on people and lived experiences, which we’ll return to later. Finally, a literary lens hints that the paper will also focus on some work of literature—a novel, a play, a short story, or a poem. All of this together in the introduction helps ensure that we’ll be prepared for a range of secondary sources in the rest of the paper.
Now, let’s look at one of the secondary sources Emanuela uses.
Analyzing a text
However, surveillance can also be used for more positive ends, often embraced when norms surrounding abuse create a need for those in power to make interactions with vulnerable people visible. “Surveillance and conformity in competitive youth swimming” by Melanie Lang joins the conversation by observing how a rise in publicized child abuse in sports has resulted in a climate of social anxiety and distrust. In the name of safety, norms have developed to be skeptical of child/adult touch. Rules reflect this as well, as the Amateur Swimming Association Child Protection Policy “advises coaches to, ‘Avoid one to one situations with a swimmer except in an unavoidable emergency’, ‘Make sure you have another adult accompanying you’ and ‘Get coaches/club officials to work in pairs’” (Lang 31). With the spotlight placed on these interactions, coaches have welcomed surveillance to foster trust and deflect any suspicion of wrongdoing.
….The hand of surveillance both ensures morality and enforces stigma and anxiety among swimming teams. The coaches have driven themselves into the arms of surveillance—a response to norms that value transparency due to societal anxiety about abuse.
In this excerpt, Emanuela first transitions between ideas (“However, surveillance can also be used for more positive ends”) and then introduces her ethnographic source—the essay “Surveillance and Conformity in Competitive Youth Swimming,” by ethnographer Melanie Lang. Emanuela briefly summarizes the article, ensuring her audience is familiar with it, before moving forward to direct quotes from Lang, delving into close reading. (For practice with integrating quotes, refer to our guide here.) Then, after another paragraph of analysis, we get to her conclusion: “The hand of surveillance both ensures morality and enforces stigma and anxiety among swimming teams. The coaches have driven themselves into the arms of surveillance.” By returning to surveillance—but a sort of surveillance that’s more positive than the punitive sort described in the introduction—Emanuela connects her paragraph back to the first paragraph. But beyond that, she also returns back to the point she begins the paragraph with (“However, surveillance can also be used for more positive ends”). This parallelism helps the paragraphs connect more explicitly to each other—but is also satisfying to read as a reader. It can be a really effective strategy to increase the flow of your paper.
Try practicing this on your own!
