In our days when new dating apps are popping up like mushrooms during the fall, anyone with a smartphone can have an access to it. Anyone! Not only millennial, their parents, as well, found their way in online dating. Our reporter, Yulia Rock, spoke to above 40s singles in New York City. I am here with Joe Danger at his friend’s apartment on Upper East Side. He is sipping a beer and swiping left and right, well mostly right on the Bumble app because he thinks that the best-looking women are on there. Joe is 54. He uses a fake online name, inspired by Anthony Winner’s nickname “Carlos Danger.” “He used that fake name when you know he was trying to get girls.”
Joe has been using online dating apps and sites for nearly two years. By now he has a profile on almost all of them including Tinder, Bumble, Coffee meets Bagel, Okcupid, hinge, happen, the league, match …He heard about online dating only from his single friends. And after his recent divorce, at first, he was very excited to try out the apps and spent hours searching for the right match. However, his fire soon has depleted.
“Now 5-10 min max a day, I don’t even want to meet too many people anymore. One or two I am dating now, nothing serious, but maybe it will be.” His new scenario of dating also changed.
“I want to talk less and less, sometimes you talk a lot and get along very well and then you meet, and it does not work. So I text a bit and ask them for a coffee.”
Eventually, Joe learned that online dating can get expensive too, so he stopped doing dinners. He felt that some women were taken advantage of his generosity and simply used him to get free meals. But things like that happen to the best of us. Even outside of online dating.
Stephan Corillo, 42 years old New York-based chief, has a bit different perspective on the online scene. He, unlike Joe, does not believe in online dating. From his experiences, he learned that people are often dishonest in their profiles. Most of his “coffee” online dates turned into friendships. But, Corillo is really keen about online hooking up.
“I use Grindr, Adam for Adam, etc. Hooking up is a daily thing for me. I go in and in an hour I am having sex. Could be one, two, three times a day. It’s too easy.” Even though his online hooking ups are easy, sometimes they get risky too.
“I don’t know what I did, but he suddenly said, “If you don’t get out of my room in 2 minutes, I will kill you.” And he was like this big guy. I was so scared, I had to jump out. He threw my clothes to me, and I was in a hallway, naked; changing in front of an elevator, sweating, scared because this guy from the room was still screaming, “I can still see you, get out. I will kill you.” I got out of this thinking that I would never do it again.” That near-death experience did not deter Corillo for long.
“The next day, I was still horny, I hooked up with three guys.”
Corillo admits that it is dangerous, and he has to choose his battles carefully.
There are nearly 54 million single people in America and 49 million of them already tried the online dating, as recent Statistic Brain research Institute estimated. In addition, over the past few years, the number online daters between ages 35-54 increased by over 20%. And the recent Statistic Brain research concluded there are more men, 52.4%, out there fishing for their mate than women.
“Some women online who just want a friend, but I don’t need one. I am trying to have a romantic relationship. I think it’s possible,” Danger still hopes for romance even if it’s online. Corillo, on the other hand, truly believes that his love will be found through real-life dating.
Danger still hopes for romance even if it’s online. Corillo, on the other hand, truly believes that his love will be found through real-life dating.
Thank you for listening.
It was Yulia Rock for Baruch College.