Hypoxic Writing:
I think arguably the biggest lesson I’ve self-taught myself is to find joy in everything that I do and also to never hate something a first glance. While people usually have a specific moment they recall or a person who taught them this, this lesson came upon me gradually until it hit me. In the early 2020s, I found myself often being a spiteful and hateful person for no reason whatsoever. This would lead to some conflict with my friends, or rather me being ashamed or embarrassed of myself in some way. While I would never cause any harm or do anything that would seem malicious, I can see from other people’s reactions that it wasn’t a good lifestyle to have. After a realization I had eventually, I would tell myself constantly to change in a better way. I saw someone say recently that manifesting and personal affirmations work, but I think it’s just a combination of telling yourself to do something and then having the motivation to eventually do something. Through these self-inflicted changes, I found myself going from being known as someone who was too blunt at times, to people close to me describing me as becoming a 180 of my past self, for those who saw how riled up I would get, to people who would come to know me after my change describing me as “chill” or something as a good listener. I think that I have grown into a character who has found something in everything to cherish and adore, rather than a person who always finds the flaws and is constantly looking for arguments. While I often still see things I’d rather not, I have learned to keep them to myself in a way. For example, being a nerd in listening to music over the years has made me pretty critical of music that in my opinion is uninspired, a word I use a lot for describing songs and artists. While I make it clear that to me, the music is not interesting at all, I try my hardest not to force a friend or someone to listen to what I am listening to as I recognize that my taste is vastly different from theirs, and I don’t force them to listen to what I do.