Returning To My Path

It was because of the Covid -19 pandemic that I had to force myself to do some heavy self-reflection. Last summer I attended a much-needed weeklong wellness retreat with Queen Afua at the Omega Institute in the mountains of Upstate New York. The week had been a powerful one. We did every wellness exercise you could imagine. Yoga, intense meditation, root work, inner child healing, you name it.

During the retreat, I spoke to a group of women and expressed that I hadn’t experienced discomfort in a very long time. I had a good job, traveled far and frequently, and couldn’t remember the last time I couldn’t afford to do something.

I mentioned to them a line that I had heard several times in the past few years, that had always stuck with me. “You travel so much, literally just pick up and go. What are you running from?”. I don’t believe I am running from anything; instead, I believe I am searching for something. I’ve always believed that sometimes you have no idea what you want to do with your life, and you just go with the flow, in hopes of finding something.

But in going with the flow, I realized that I was stifling my own growth. I had been fortunate enough to have been with my company for five years and recognized that I had been living on autopilot and using them as a crutch to not experience the necessary discomfort that would allow me to expand.

When I graduated in 2016 with my Associates in Business, I was curious to see how far I could go with it. I did well, with several promotions and pay increases being handed my way. But then I hit a wall, I was no longer satisfied; I was merely going through the motions. My career had hit a roadblock and I found myself at a yet another crossroads, something I had been very familiar with in early adulthood.

After returning from the much-needed time away, I remember walking through my front door, dropped my luggage, and letting out a sigh of relief. I knew I had work to do. As the days followed, realizations just kept flowing in. The most significant of them all was when I was standing in my kitchen, sipping a cup of tea, and had an epiphany. It finally clicked; I realized what I wanted to do in life. Well, kind of. All these years I knew that I wanted to return to school, I just wasn’t exactly sure for what.

After a seven-year hiatus, I made the decision to return to school. I got on my laptop, searched CUNY schools that had Finance as a major and applied to the three schools that offered it. Going back to school after such a long break seemed overwhelming and daunting. Life had become much more complicated than it was seven years ago. Despite the fear and uncertainties, I firmly believe that returning to school is definitely worth it. Nobody is ever too old to learn. Education is a right, not a privilege, yet not everyone is given the opportunity to pursue it. Some individuals have to discontinue their education due to personal reasons, while others never had the chance to attend school in their younger years because of familial and personal responsibilities. The good news is that education is open to everyone, and everyone has the chance to try again. Going back to school after taking a break for several years is the start of a new journey, a new adventure.

There are common stigmas that might weaken your resolve or make you doubt the rationality of your decision to finally complete your studies after a long break. However, it’s important to remember that these stigmas are false and misleading. The one truth you should hold onto is that returning to school later in life is a commendable achievement. I did it, and I believe you can do it too. All you need is unwavering motivation and faith in yourself. It is never too late to pursue your dreams.

When I arrived at Baruch, it was refreshing to see that I wasn’t surrounded only by people my 19-year-old nephew’s age. There was a diverse range of students from all walks of life, and we all shared a common goal: to finish what we had started. I often question myself, “Have I really sacrificed my free time to subject myself to Algebra, Physics, and Pre-calculus?”. But I knew that this was the discomfort that I needed towards continuing my self- development.

I consider myself blessed because I had the opportunity to travel the world, gain real-life work experience, and truly experience life. This is not to say that these years were filled with idleness. In fact, I became a certified yoga instructor and birthing doula, and I even took Latin language courses. However, I knew that returning to school was a significant commitment, one that I do not regret at all.