ENG 2150 Blogs

Hopefully not the last time writing here.

One of the places where most of my walks took place was around my neighborhood. I chose to just walk around my neighborhood because it was accessible and since it was the wintertime, I didn’t want to really go anywhere especially if the day was super cold to just walk around and take a photo. I would much rather spend like 10 minutes walking around my neighborhood and the quickly scurry back to my warm cozy apartment rather than taking an hour discovering new places far from me. Because it was during the wintertime, it was usually almost cold, around 40 degrees Fahrenheit and sometimes snowed. Looking back in my blogs, it snowed a lot later than I thought it would, like in February and March. The times that I would do the walks in the beginning of the semester was around either noon or at 5:00 PM, pretty much when I got home from classes. I incorporated a lot of scenery/images to what I would mention in my essays, especially the first “hood” essay because I wrote about my neighborhood and what the word home meant to me. In my first essay, I wrote about all the things that I have seen change throughout my 18 years living in the same neighborhood. In my first few walks I walked around the same neighborhood I wrote about in my essay so it was easy to take a picture and talk about it because I’ve known this place pretty much my entire life.

Recently, or after “winter” ended and when spring started to arrive eventually, it felt like spring had started in late April/ early May which is super late in my opinion, I got to explore more and take walks that were not in my neighborhood because of the temperature change. It started to become warmer so I felt like I didn’t need to stay so close to my apartment and it allowed me to have better walks because I explored new areas and got a different view of the place, if I had already been there, because I would take the time to analyze the setting instead of just walking through the streets and maybe taking a quick glimpse. In terms of my writing, I guess I changed, although very little, and started to involve claims instead of simply writing how the walk was and what I saw. In some Weekly Walk assignments, I barely talk about my walk and explore something that was going through my head while walking or something I learned after the walk. For example, in a lot of my later Weekly Walks I write more about how I felt while walking and what the photo or scenery made me think of. I feel like after doing these Weekly Walks I take the time to investigate my surroundings more and not take those things for granted. I feel like I need to search new areas because I want to get to know New York. I hope that I utilize this website even though the semester is over and occasionally come back and maybe write about one of my walks.

Peer Reviews

Sakif :

From reading your introduction paragraph, I understand that you will be discussing about the importance of population or density and have it can affect safety and walkability in general. I like how you relate your topics/thesis with our discussions in class. Additionally, you analyze and break down the quote from the book. You also provide evidence for Jacobs’ claim with another source. In the study that you bring up, you discuss how possible witnesses to a possible crime can deter a crime from happening which helps your argument. Then you bring up your source from the weekly walks to bring up the importance of “eyes” on the streets. In your counter claim, you mention that the time of day plays a minuscule factor to crime being committed, but I feel like the time of day plays a big role in people walking around because there are more diurnal people than nocturnal. I noticed there are a lot of minor grammatical errors so I suggest reading your essay over. I also noticed you repeat yourself a couple of times and I think you can remove or phrase it differently.

 

Spencer:

From reading your introduction, and also reading from the previous peer review, I understood it as your essay will revolve around the harms of industrialization which causes global warming harming the planet. The last bit of the introduction is engaging and alluring. You included sources and evidence in your first and second paragraph which showed me that you really understand what you’re writing about which gives you credibility. You introduce quotes and broke them down and analyzed it which helped grow and strengthen your argument. It shows the importance and how immediate action is necessary. You introduce your fourth source which includes another problem which is air pollution and showing another harm to the planet. There a small grammatical mistakes and easily corrected if you read your essay over again. While reading your essay, I saw a couple of times how “it is detrimental” and “humanity’s ignorance” (or similar terms) is repeated so I think you can remove some of those sentences.