It was during my junior year of high school. I was taking my final semester of Japanese. Our final assignment involved a partner. We were to create a short script about whichever topic you choose. It has to be in Japanese and act it out in front of your classmates. My partner and I chose to write about going to a Japanese restaurant and ordering things off a menu. I was the customer and my friend was to be the waitress. I worked so hard on it. Our teacher said we shouldn’t read off the script and was expected to have it memorized. I studied the script we created for days. I could memorize it word for word, while I was in the shower. I thought I was ready. My parents’ even thought I was ready for it!

When the day finally came, I was excited and nervous at the same time, but ready. The script was still fresh in my mind. As it was finally, our turn to act out the play, I just totally blanked out. I don’t know what happened to me, but I couldn’t remember a single line. It was the first time it happened. I stood there like I was some silent customer who couldn’t make up her mind. I’ve done other projects in the past and I was fine with the memorization. I failed my partner and most devastatingly failed myself. I was so confidence that I would ace it… I felt utterly embarrassed and ashamed that I unintentionally let down my partner, my teacher, my classmates, and most of all telling my parents, I had failed the performance. I wanted them to feel proud of me for doing a job well done. They tried to cheer me up, but I was still ashamed.

Because of this experience, I tried not to rely entirely on my memory. I can always look at my notes or index cards, but never try to read off from it. With that said, I still have difficulties in not reading my notes during a presentation, because deep down I still worry something like that would happen again.