Step by Step
Independence is a key step to growing up. We started as little kids that relied fully on our parents; now we make our own decisions and rely less on them. My first step to being independent for me was to learn to make my own decisions. Making my own decisions was a little hard for me because I am a very undecisive person. One of the first decisions I had to make was whether I should go find a job and work. I was thinking “I should go get a job because I want to earn money like my parents and have experience working before college.” But at the same time, I was also thinking “If I get a job, how will I manage my time in school and at work. Also, will working be too hard for me since it is my first time?” But after all the thinking, I ended up getting a job. That brings me to my next step of being independent: getting a job and working.
Learning to be independent was a bit hard for me, but I started to understand my parents’ feelings. I learned how hard life is for my parents. They work hard every day to provide food on the table for us. They work hard to provide a roof over our heads. They work hard to earn money for us to spend. And yet, my siblings and I didn’t do much for them. So, that became a reason why I decided to find a job and start working. After working, I have seen how society is and what my parents might have to go through. Although my job is different than what they do, I started to understand how hard it could be to earn money. There was one time at work when a customer was not satisfied with her drink. We made the drink 3 times for her, and she was still not happy with it. But, she drank nearly half a cup before telling us she was not satisfied each time. And in the end, we ended up giving her a refund. I was so speechless that day. I only work for 3 days but they work for almost the full week, so they must deal with twice the amount of work than me. Thinking about that makes me want to work more so they can rest a little. I want them to think more about themselves and let them know that we, their children, are growing up. We can also provide support to the family like they do. Because of working, my spending habits changed. It went from using all the money I have on me at once, to starting to save and think multiple times before spending my money. My thoughts went from “I want this, buy. That, buy.” to “Do I need this? Um… maybe. Really? Nah.”. Now, I don’t have to ask my parents for money, instead I can earn my own money. Maybe we might not do it as well as them, but we will try our best so they can rest and think more about themselves.
My next step was making another decision; a decision that is very important because it can affect my future majorly. This decision is going to college and choosing which college. Deciding to go to college is something important. Should I go to college or just work full time? I chose to go to college because going to college is an opportunity to learn more and have more choices for my future career. My parents supported me in both decisions, but they preferred that I should go to college thinking that my future would be better after learning more. Other than them helping me come to my decision, my own thought of “what do I want to be and what do I want to do when I become an adult?” also did. I didn’t know how my future would be like because I had no idea what I wanted to do. So thinking about that, going to college was my best choice. This brings me to choosing what college I should go to. When deciding on colleges to attend, there were a few people that helped me: my parents, older sister, college counselor, and guidance counselor. They helped me break down how each college can benefit me, and which are more suitable for me. That process felt long, but it actually wasn’t. I went to the college counselor’s office 3 times a week for 3 months until all the colleges were chosen, and all the paper works were done. When the acceptance letters were out, I started to go to the college counselor’s office again. After seeing what colleges accepted me, I had to think about if I wanted to stay in the city or experience the dorm life in another place, I am not familiar with. I ended up choosing a college that was in the city and had a major that sounded interesting to me. I chose to attend Baruch College.
Becoming more independent is a slow but long process. It is not about leaving our parents and doing everything on our own. It is more about depending less on our parents but that doesn’t mean that we can’t get any help at all. Decision-making is hard and working is tiring, but becoming fully independent is not just that. I think I am not even halfway through the process, and I still have a long way to go. This process also makes me think about a lot. When I was still a little child and depending all on my mom, I didn’t have to do much thinking about things in life. When I was little, I never had to put on an alarm for me to wake up because my mom would wake me up. Also, I don’t ever have to think about what I should wear for school that day because I know that my mom will choose for me. But now, I must do a lot of thinking myself. It is my own responsibility to have an alarm and wake up on time. I know that I have grown up and my mom has more important things to do than choosing what I should wear for school. I can do that on my own.
Something I realized on my way of being more independent is that our parents are like our teachers. We would normally learn a lot from them as we grow. Their habits would turn into our habits. Their morals might also turn into our morals. As I think about it, I come to realize that I am a lot like my mom. We have a lot of the same habits, and my personality is somewhat like hers. How close we are does not affect how much we can be like. My sister is closer to my mom, but she is more like my dad; and I am evenly close to any of them, but I am more like my mom. This brought me to realize that a lot of the decisions I made were effected by my morals and ethics.