It was interesting to witness how the old woman’s attitude towards her promiscuous lifestyle evolved as her story progressed. One view she shared of her experience that was particularly striking to me was when the old priest took her into his asylum and built a secret prison to keep her hidden away from the outside world. As the narrator recalled the event, he “Forced me down into this underground cell.” Secluded, gloomy, and minuscule; clearly these weren’t the best conditions for her to live in, and as time went by she progressively grew depressed. Unconsciously, she developed a clever coping mechanism to deal with this predicament, something similar to what today is known as stockholm syndrome. She had to convince herself to actually like this pathetic old priest that was just using her for his sexual pleasures and enjoy being in his presence. “I found myself waiting up late, wishing he would come back.” This is a psychological defence mechanism that the body uses as a survival instinct; in order to survive her situation she had to adapt to it. The narrator’s mindset at this point is that she is doing whatever she has to to get by, and she might as well try to enjoy herself. After all, what is the point of living if life’s only full of misery?
-Borys
Although many may view the woman’s perspective on relationships with men as promiscuous, I found it to be very unique and introspective. She refused to feel jealous, claiming that “jealousy is something you must never, never give into.” The older woman, who has never been married, viewed men and women alike as not others’ possessions, but free spirits. Therefore, jealousy did not make much sense to her. She has fallen in love with so many men, that it became easy for her to leave and quickly become interested in another. She believes that without a passionate love, being with someone has the ability to physically kill you. After making love with a man who was initially full of desire but disrespected her, she predicted that he would not live very long. She thought, “you said some pretty disrespectful things just now. You won’t last even one year.” She was right; without a mutually passionate love, the man did not live much longer. As Borys mentioned, the older woman has had to sleep with many men in order to get by, and she quickly realized that nothing lasts forever and she would have to make the best of her situation. Life has never allowed her to feel that she is fully entitled to one man, and she has managed to apply that notion to all of the men that she has been with. I believe that it has made her immune to any feelings of jealousy or hurt over the ones she loved.
-Zuzanna