It seems inevitable that this question will be asked. From a kindergarten class where we’re asked what we want to be when we grow up (apparently I wanted to be a Barney) to a job interview and a manager trying to see your ambition. The question assumes that we do see ourselves and have a path figured out and really comes from this fault inherent in our system where we are supposed to know what we want to do and make decisions based on this and sometimes it can be overwhelming, like a long run-on sentence expressing distress about the future, rambling about the difficulty of committing to a path, admitting fear of making a bad decision that leaves you in a dead-end job and a mid-life crisis, and this is being asked of a teenager, which could be a little stressful. Some people who know me may find it “classic” that I question the whole idea of the prompt instead of just answering it straightaway as requested of me. Frankly, in 3 years I see myself as 22 years old.

In terms of the group project, I am reaffirming some things I had already believed about myself:

1. I prefer to work alone
2. I consider myself a leader  (or at least tend to take the leader role in a group)
3. I need to make sure that I don’t come off as arrogant, because the average person reading sentence #2 either cringed or thought that was an egotistical statement (probably)

Now to answer some questions.

During the group project, I used one staff resource: we were told the website idealist.org, so I used that. Otherwise, I found that the staff/faculty was not necessary for help. I said I prefer to work alone. That includes a proclivity for avoiding asking for help and trying to solve the problem myself. And I don’t think that’s bad- it’s my way of being able to maintain independence and not find myself in a jam without the people I would require for assistance.

I used SAAC once because of a requirement. I was out of my one hour appointment in five minutes.

I have joined Mock Trial but despite the efforts of certain key members (including our very own Jose Ayala), we still have to get it off the ground. Meanwhile, I am attempting to create a Film Club, which I will actually be meeting about tomorrow (December 3rd). I see this as a potential step forward in my resume, as well as in my enthusiasm towards film (as of this article’s post-date, I have seen 126 of the IMDb Top 250- still working hard).

I don’t think the team project has done much for me in terms of “giving me an edge.” The presentation and group organization tactics were all things I had previously used in a BUS Recitation Group Project. Presentation was something from COM. I see this not as the development of new skills, but as a reuse of past practices.

I haven’t done anything yet in Community Service, so my understanding of it has still stagnated. I work better from examples, so talking about making a difference has not actually done anything for me yet.

So do I actually have an answer for the question? In 3 years I’ll be a senior. I don’t know a major (maybe English?) or a minor (Political Science?). I thought coming in that I would become a lawyer. I’m not so sure now. Too many lawyers saying not to be a lawyer. One person said “don’t go into law school unless you really want to go to law school.” I don’t know if I really want to go. I like Film. I like English. One is difficult to break into. The other low-paying. What will I do? In 3 years I hope to still be trying to question the question and not just give a perfunctory answer. It’s three whole years. I’ve got time.

To begin with, I don’t think I truly can answer this very well. I am a Freshman in my second month in Baruch, and still trying to understand my role as an individual, even more so as a member of a community. However, I will attempt to speculate as to how I can fit into my surroundings and help out.

As a Baruch Scholar, I am amongst peers who were at a similar academic standing to mine in high school. I see them in classes and after, and am growing to be a part of a network of people who can work together. In this community, I fit in as a friend, as somebody who can share information about classes, and somebody to talk to. We compliment each other when we notice each other shining in class. I see my classmates and smile or nod to them in the hallway. I don’t need to have a conversation with them. I can, but we both know that we’ve got this bond. That knowing nod which shares a camaraderie- the community of Baruch Scholars.

As a Baruch student, I initially had a desire to not be the Baruch Scholar who answers all the questions and is a know-it-all. But I’m learning- this is college. Here, there are no judgements. We are all on the same team- we want to succeed. And the professors are there to ensure there’s an equal sharing of the spotlight, so I don’t have to worry about that. In terms of the community, sharing information and such, I experienced a dilemma before my first test. A student in one of my classes seemed to be interested in getting my notes to review for the exam, but I had a suspicion that it wouldn’t be a supplement to his notes, rather a replacement. In essence, I didn’t want to be working hard and just giving that effort away. I’ve experienced similar situations in high school. I decided to make a rule for myself- I do not give out notes. I share, but not everything. It’s a fine line, but it’s my integrity, and I care about that.

In terms of living in New York, I recognize that there are a lot of volunteer opportunities and abilities to become a productive member of society by doing something extra. This will be an opportunity I will take in the Spring volunteer program. From there I hope to see whether this is something I can or will do for the coming years. It is always important to help those in need, but the effort necessary to do so is honestly something I don’t always want to go through. It’s difficult for me to be a person who giving feels natural. I hope to work on this.

Where have I been? I see sometimes these maps of the world, where you can scratch off the countries you’ve visited. Sometimes this makes me a little sad because I can only really count off 5 countries which I’ve been to, 4 if you don’t count stopovers on flights. Besides California, I haven’t travelled beyond the Eastern Seaboard in America. I’m not much of an explorer when it comes to new surroundings- I like the old familiar. So when asked where I’ve been, I usually think I have a boring answer. But then I actually tell people about my life. How I lived in Israel for 5 years of my life. How I’m bilingual as a result. I talk about the different experiences I’ve had living in another country. And people are impressed. So geographically, I’ve been to a couple of pretty interesting places, and lived a unique life.

But location is just one aspect of where I’ve been. Because this more than a question asked to check off a map of places the FRO Class of ’15 has been. This is life experiences. This is the mile marker at the crossroads of my life, with a path approaching and another leaving from it, built on the foundations of the preceding journey. So where have I been? I’ve been in a Mock Trial team for 4 years, which has propelled me towards a law career. I’ve been in various cultural events in my high school like book and film clubs, Shakespearean festivals and the like. From there I have taken interest in liberal arts, hoping to expand my mind and broaden my horizons, while also sharing the horizons I have already seen with fellow classmates (like those who have yet to see The Grand Budapest Hotel).

Ultimately, where would I like to go? I fantasize about retirement. You may laugh. That’s okay. I envision a house upstate, where the land is measured in acres, not square feet. The lawn can be described as sprawling, and my grandchildren love to run around in it (I can see a dog being there, but it’s not a necessity. I am a cat person, but a dog just fits this vision more). In my middle age, I would have taken a woodworking class, where I built myself a rocking chair. I have a porch, where I sit, rocking slowly, reading a good book, probably rereading a Vonnegut. That’s the dream.

Between now and then, I’m going to learn. I plan to take classes that fit requirements, that fit my interest, or fit my need to see more of the world and its ways. College is for me a learning and a growing experience. I hope to find a good, prestigious, well-paying job at a law firm, where I can build towards my retirement. I like where I’m headed.