“A million shards of glass

That haunt me from my past

As the stars begin to gather

And the light begins to fade

When all hope begins to shatter

Know that I won’t be afraid”²

 

Back in around 2013, I just started my new academic year at the university. In my class had 83 students, but suddenly an unknown face entered the classroom. Neither had I seen her before nor did I know why she was here. Later I realized that she came from a senior batch*. She dropped a year and started her new journey with my batch. I would like to call her Adity here.

As time went by, she became irregular again. Sometimes, she used to come to the class with her 1-year-old son. As I did not know, what is going on in her life (she did not disclose until she got free with us) our professors gave her hard times because of her irregularity. But she always got away from this because of her brilliant results in the exams. I always wonder how she got all these marks even in the exam! In a three hours exam, she used to come after an hour, and even within that remaining two hours, she had lots of things on her mind, beyond the study.

Before we go further into this, I think we need to give some details on the discrimination we have in our social system. When I think of why people in the countries of South Asia cannot marry someone from a different class, it takes me back to a very long time, maybe from the beginning of the Aryan civilization in the South Asia. The time where most of the people were following Hinduism and had severe caste restriction. They cannot do any relationship with people from other castes. People above the bottom class could not even touch anyone belonged to the bottom class. If they do, they were disqualified from their own cast and become outcaste or untouchable. And in some part of India, this caste problem is still happening. People are dying.  There are thousands of men and women India who got killed by their parents, just because they made a relationship with someone from a different cast.

The discrimination in this region is killing our moral judgment, it is killing our youth. In most of the public Universities, students cannot share the same elevators with a faculty member, and the most absurd thing is, 4th-grade employees cannot use elevators. Same thing in the public hospitals, there are elevators for the doctors, but other than doctors, in most of the hospitals’ patients, visitors, and 3^rd and 4^th grades employees have to climb the stairs. I cannot even imagine how cruel and illogical the system is. A 70 years old visitor or cleaner climbing up the stairs, but the 30 years old doctors or professors taking the elevators, how cruel, how terrifying! In a government office, there are different canteens for the different levels of employees. Moreover, If someone earning less, they cannot go to an expensive restaurant for eating, even if they have the money to pay for.

Though most of the people in Bangladesh are Muslims, I think most of the Muslim people living in Bangladesh do not understand that it is prohibited in Islam. According to Islam, a person cannot treat another person per their race, legal profession or income. But unfortunately, people do not follow this clear rule. Rather they tend to follow the unwritten and informal caste system in their subconscious mind.  That is what happened here to Adity because of his father and the society she born.

Her story was different, different from everyone. Now when we come back from work after all day travel and hard work and do not want to study for a better job, it is her inspiration that motivates us to keep going. When we think what she did until the last day of her life, how she kept fighting against all odds, that is what motivate us.

She was from a very wealthy family of Dhaka. Her father is a prominent business owner. She was studying business at the most prestigious university in the country. Her GPA was 4 out of four which is very rare to achieve. When I look at her old pictures, it reminds me of “Nandini” (A very fictional romantic Bengali woman character who is the symbol bravery, love, and beauty in a drama named “Raktakarabi” by Rabindranath Tagore.) I am sure, Rabindranath would have made it more than perfect character is he had seen her.

For her everything was going perfectly. She was getting the privileges she supposed to get. But instead of becoming the spoiled girl, she was getting better and better day by day through her study and some other cultural activities including singing and debating. Her dream was to represent the country in the international arena as a leading businesswoman. But the Almighty made a different plan for her. She fall in love when she was in her sophomore year with a man who had no college education and not enough income to support his family. Her father angrily rejected the possibility of her marriage with that guy (as most of the parents in Bangladesh would do so). She decided to trust her love and left all the wealth she had while she grew up and chose an uncertain future.

The only thing she had with her is the love from her boyfriend and later husband and a possibility of getting a good job if she can finish her study from her university. As we know, real life is not an act of the drama, so they faced the extreme struggle. Her husband could not afford to stay in Dhaka so he left Dhaka for his hometown. She left Dhaka with him too. On that time, she gave a study gap as she could not afford to live in Dhaka. By that period, she had a baby boy. After a year he managed some part-time job in Dhaka a became able to pay the rent and restart her education with us. In a span of two years, the girl who had a personal driver with a car, now go to work, come to the university by walking with her kid, the girl who used to sing used to debate to raise money for charity, now work to pay rent. Still, the most extraordinary thing was, her GPA. Which was still above 3.75! Whereas, our average class GPA was 3.2 only.

But this struggle was not enough. After just having some few months, she developed a fatal kidney disease. Now, medical is very costly in our country. Suddenly she became helpless. She carried herself alone all the way to achieve her dream, then, she herself was on the bed. I and some of my friends went to her father, we repeatedly requested him to forget everything, we told him that, at the end of the day she is your daughter and she is struggling with her life. But her father took us by surprise and never stood down from his ego. He told us only way she can come back if she gives up her husband and 2-year-old son! How a mother can do that, at least not a strong character like her. Some of my friends wanted to kidnap her father and teach him a lesson, rest of us acted what we literally could do- raising fund for her treatment. Thanks to everyone’s effort we managed to raise the money for her medical. But kidney disease is a long-term treatment. And it needs proper rest and a balanced lifestyle.  By reading some of her facebook posts, I think she was not happy in her in-laws’ house as well.

After the transplant, she went back to her husband’s hometown and start living there. But for study, medical and for career or study, she had to come to Dhaka frequently. These were 5 to 6 hours painful journey. She was missing her home, her father, her brother, but her father was adamant. She was in need of money, a stable home in Dhaka. Eventually, she becomes sick again and died alone without her beloved father and family, leaving her very lovely baby boy. Sometimes, I cry by looking at her Facebook profile, where her father is in the cover photo, her status on the Father’s Day, her love towards her son. The most incredible thing was when she was on the bed, could not stand, and still she was preparing to become a diplomat. To find a strong woman I never look for Malala or Hilary Clinton, they are best in their own sector, but I have seen the real example with my own eyes. She is the wonder woman who is only defeated by death.

Her last message to me was, she has no one close to her except us, our batch. When she died, we were very young, we did not even have jobs, but our failure to do something more for her hunt me a lot. Maybe things would be different if she could give us 2 more years. And after six months of her death, her father died. Thus, the almighty draw the conclusion of his intention with them in this world. Wherever she is, I always pray and hope, she stays fine.

 

 

Acknowledgments:

1. The Heading image is made by the students of Institute of Fine Arts, the University of Dhaka for the Bengali New Year parade.
2. Smith, S. (2015, October 04). Sam Smith – Writing’s On The Wall (from Spectre). Retrieved November 08, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jzDnsjYv9A
3. In Bangladesh, all the public universities have fixed class system. For example, after completing the high school, students will get the chance to compete for an admission in a public university, as all the private universities are not good. And if someone finishes his or her high school in 2017, they have to admit to a public university in 2017. And all the courses including minors and majors are fixed with the admission. So all the students take the same class. Every year each department gets a new batch.
4. To know more about caste system, you can visit Indian Hindu Caste System
5. The sketch of Nandini made by Sharmin Akter Muna
6. McCartney, P. (1970, March). The Beatles: Let It Be Lyrics. Retrieved November 08, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkE_2yBr-Rw
7.  The Picture of ‘Mother and Baby” has taken from an open-source platform called, PixBay
8. The voice at the end given by Naomi Roy. It is a very emotional song between a father and daughter.