Has Your Birth Order Shaped Who You Are?

My birth order hasn’t shaped who I am, as I think I don’t fully align with the eldest category, as other birth order categories sometimes do ‘describe me’ for certain aspects. I don’t see being the eldest as a burden, as you do have some perks to it. Granted, I haven’t found them yet, but I know they exist somewhere. 

The idea of birth order for some people being a holy grail explanation, whereas to others it means nothing, is something that deeply resonates with my own experiences, as I have been in both situations growing up. I initially grew alone until the age of ten, when my brother came into the picture, and up until then I had no “eldest daughter syndrome.” But as time continues, I grow more detached from the idea of “eldest daughter syndrome” and instead move into other personal factors that are unique to each person. Such factors are race, ethnicity, household income, religion, social norms, and parental legal status. Those are factors that so far have determined my experiences, yet I realize those factors are similar and different for my parents. My parents don’t fit the traditional birth order idea of personality or experience. My mother, being one of the eldest in her family growing up, sure doesn’t act like it. She does have some maturity and seriousness to her persona, yet she is more charming and socially funny than one would expect. Yet contrary to eldest beliefs, she is very comforted with what she has in life, unlike most eldest kids. This is the exact opposite for my father, as, being the second youngest, he resembles the eldest qualities. Growing up, he helped his mother extensively with housework such as cooking, cleaning, and much more. Like my mother, he did have some ‘rebellious’ persona in him, yet it was only a one-time disobedience of joining the army straight out of high school, despite my grandmother’s disapproval. However, this can be argued wasn’t complete disobedience, as he was trying to do the best he could to advance in life back home in Ecuador with the resources available to him. He has also never really relied on anyone to do stuff for him due to his age. Elements like these have made me question these stereotypes, as I have noted that we are all byproducts of our environment or other important factors unique to us. 

I have felt saddled by certain expectations because of my birth order, yet I have realized it’s due to unique factors I have in my life. Such factors as mentioned earlier are race, ethnicity, household income, religion, social norms, and parental legal status. 

I believe we shouldn’t put much stock in the psychology of birth order, as each person turns out to be different from the characteristics they are attributed due to uncontrollable birth order. Some people do align with their birth order, but as the article states, it’s such a small coincidence. I think birth order is a partial understanding factor for our families, but not the solemn understanding factor. We should take the birth order with a little grain of salt.