Identifying with the gender of a woman is one of the hardest things in the world. To be a woman is to have and to accept a hard life. If the society in Girl,, by Jamaica Kincaid, were flipped, the mother was a father, and the narrator a boy, then freedom would quickly ease into the role of being a son. A different set of society pressures would be dramatically shifted and set for a son. What society yells should be manhood would be forcefully represented through a father’s advice and instruction.
A son not only quite literally grows up into one but is taught to be the stereotypical man. First, a man is to lead, and to lead everywhere that it is possible. A man must lead not only in but also outside of his home. Be the man of the house and the CEO of one’s career. These are all pressures. Next, to be a man is to be a protector. You cannot be the leader of that aforementioned house without being its protector. If there is an intruder, your family is looking at you to be the shield. After all, this is what you have trained for all your life. This demands all different kinds of strengths, mental and physical being a few of them. The attempt of little boys being forced into such roles only allows them to grow so much in such a specific way, simultaneously limiting other abilities and capabilities.
Jamaica Kincaid includes a quote about men despite Girl being a strict rule book about how to be a girl. This quote is “This is how to love a man; and if this doesn’t work there are other ways.” (Kincaid, 44) At the end of the day, the purpose of a girl is for her to eventually become a woman, and to love a man, not necessarily to be loved back. Usually, a lot of people like to believe love to be unconditional a lot of the time, but here there is a proper way to love a man. A man is to lead his woman because she is a part of his household, and he is seen to have ownership over her. At least a man gets to be a leader for himself, but a woman is to make herself up properly and perfectly for her man.
The differences between men and women are that men are meant to be “hard” while women are meant to be “soft.” Men and women are polar opposites, making the phrase “opposites attract” come true. Women are meant to evolve into a type of mother, whether they have children or not, because they are meant to nurture their husband. Their husbands need to be taken care of after a hard day of being hard, leading, and protecting. For the women who do not have children, it is as if the way they treat their husbands is only training for the future. This only emphasizes how unfair life is between women and men. Misogyny has been in existence for forever, and misandry does not exist because it is a response and product of misogyny. By recognizing these norms, we can all work towards a society with mutual support and healthier relationships.
Works Cited
Kincaid, Jamaica. “Girl.” The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Short Stories, edited by Tobias
Wolff, Vintage, 1994
