The ideals of femininity and womanhood expressed by the mother to her daughter in the excerpt is one of psychological and physical restrictions. The strict schedule and lifestyle expected of a woman imply that if she doesn’t comply, she will be deemed “invaluable.” In the context of modern society, it’s clear that the way women are treated by their mothers has changed significantly. Today, women are encouraged to break free from previously dominant patriarchal views, such as those surrounding employment, voting, and other societal roles.

The mother appears to be conveying how dangerous it is for her daughter to “slip up” in society, frequently using the term “slut” as a consequence of noncompliance. The structure of the excerpt suggests that the mother has experienced a harsh reality of what it means to be a woman in society, possibly passed down from her own mother or a similar figure. The mother herself never had the freedom to live life on her own terms, constantly having to acquire new skills—similar to the strict training of a drill sergeant or military persona. The skills and behaviors she expects from her daughter were likely imposed on her as well.

However, it’s difficult to determine the balance between protectiveness and restriction in the mother’s advice, as we don’t fully understand her past experiences. On one hand, she may have been punished severely in her own life, leading her to impose these standards on her daughter as a form of protection. On the other hand, jealousy or envy might be driving some of these restrictions, as it’s not uncommon for mothers to limit their daughters in this way.

Ultimately, I believe the mother’s advice is more protective than purely restrictive because it isn’t one-sided. The quote from Jamaica Kincaid’s Girl—”this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man, and if this doesn’t work, there are other ways, and if they don’t work, don’t feel too bad about giving up” (Kincaid, 1978)—suggests that the mother is preparing her daughter for the realities of relationships while offering solutions to defend herself.

However, it’s important to consider how these rules will affect the daughter as she grows older. Will she pass these same standards on to her own children? I believe this will become a continuous generational cycle, as children are impressionable and often desire to be like their parents. Over time, these rules will likely become the daughter’s definition of life, and eventually, she will see her unhealthy lifestyle as normal.

We also see this dynamic in Lucy by Jamaica Kincaid, where the mother figure constantly imposes rules on her daughter and instills fear. In the quote, “the letter was filled with detail after detail of horrible and vicious things she had read or heard about that had taken place on those very same underground trains which I traveled” (Kincaid, 2002), we see both mothers using fear to control their children. Ultimately the idea of femininity, in Girl, is a psychological tight-spaced box where one must attempt to feel comfortable within it or be punished if one tries to manipulate getting out of the box.

Work Cited Page:

Kincaid, Jamaica. “‘Girl,’ by Jamaica Kincaid.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker, 19 June 1978, www.newyorker.com/magazine/1978/06/26/girl.

Kincaid, Jamaica. Lucy:A Novel. Farrar, Straus and Giroux; Reprint Edition, 2002.