In the text “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid, the mother exemplifies traditional/patriarchal ideals of femininity and womanhood when advising her daughter. At first, the mother’s advice seems to be fitting for a Caribbean mother who wants to see her daughter be an independent young lady as the mother states, “wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry…soak your little cloths right after you take them off,” (Kincaid) which can simply be seen as a Caribbean survival guide.
However, when the mother continues to advise her daughter and says, “Always eat your food in such a way that it won’t turn someone else’s stomach; on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming; don’t sing benna in Sunday school,” (Kincaid) there is a shift and the patriarchal ideals of this Caribbean society are highlighted. As the mother tells her daughter that she needs to act in a certain way that is socially acceptable and not like the “slut” the girl is bent on becoming, it not only shows the social expectation placed on women at that period of time in that society but also how women would be viewed as “sluts” is they disobeyed these rules.
Through the mother’s advice, it can be seen that the patriarchal views are embedded into her mindset. The mother’s advice to her daughter is probably a projection due to her own life experiences. At this time, the Caribbean was not only rooted in traditional patriarchal beliefs but also heavily influenced by colonialism, which made it ten times worse. The mother probably had these same rules repeated to her throughout her life and is now reciting all these rules to her daughter because this is all she knows from her own experience growing up. As the mother states, “don’t sing benna in Sunday school,” her daughter replies, “but I don’t sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school” (Kincaid), thus conveying some sort of hidden trauma the mother must have had as the girl has never done any these activities before.
Moreover, the mother’s advice can be seen as protective and restrictive in certain instances. For example, the protective side of the mother’s advice can be seen when she states, “this is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold” (Kincaid), as the mother teaches her daughter day-to-day life skills that will benefit her by showing her how to care of herself so that she won’t have to be dependent on anyone in the future.
On the other hand, the mother’s advice tends to be restrictive when the mother says things like, “don’t squat down to play marbles—you are not a boy, you know; don’t pick people’s flowers—you might catch something” (Kincaid). This type of advice restricts the girl from being her true self, as she has to act in a certain way that conforms to society’s gender-biased beliefs and values and cannot enjoy the things that she likes to do, such as playing marbles, which can not only diminish her sense of self but cause her to potentially act out in the future as her self development has been stifled.
Ultimately, the text “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid, published in 1978, not only shows the traditional and patriarchal belief’s that existed during this time in contemporary Caribbean society but also how these beliefs were upheld and passed down to generations of women by their own mothers.
Great post Delina! I appreciate how you cited the poem multiple times then explained in-depth how the advice was restrictive or helpful to the girl’s future. It was a thoughtful and well-composed post.
This is a beautifully written response, and I love the overarching idea that these ideals of femininity passed down from mother to daughter persist because misogyny and colonialism are so heavily entwined. Even though Kincaid does not speak about her mother in the reading, you articulately infer that the mother at some point may have some trauma that she projects onto her daughter in order to keep her safe.
I enjoyed reading your blog post. I specifically like how you pointed out the advice her mother was giving her. At first it seemed innocent but it quickly turned sour with patriarchal social norms. This allows us to understand that the way women are raised by their parents is based on the expectations of society. You would think that the mom wouldn’t want the same thing for her daughter and instead advise her to be unique and genuine but that isn’t what we get overall.